So I was talking with a friend of mine who used to be big in the hobby and he started talking about how he had to leave it, as when he got older, he needed a genuine connection in order to *complete* and really enjoy it. I started thinking about it as well and noticed that when I need to finish within a certain period of time and don't have a "warm up" involving making out, taking our time, grinding, kissing, talking, with a woman I know is really into me, that it's more difficult for me, too.
When I was in my 20's, 30's and 40's, I could have cared less about the connection--it was all about being with a super hot woman who I could have instant, easy sex with. But something changed in my 50's and now I need to feel the connection or else... it's just not going to happen. I'm just wondering if anyone else here has run into this like my buddy and I have. He gave up the hobby for that reason and I'm considering doing the same and finding one special woman on the side who shares feelings for me as well. Anyone else? PS- if you're under the age of 45... you probably won't understand this at all (I know I wouldn't have), so please comment if you're 45+.Full disclosure: I have not, but I thought it sounded interesting for mature folks.
It’s real. Characterize it however anyone will. Anyone with decent intellect and social exposure will find the quality of time together is more important. There comes a time when the high is not a sexual climax but, rather, genuine companionship, and the feel of human touch. Now, don’t get me wrong! A great fuck is still a great fuck. But, from experience, I’m just sayin.
100% agree. This has to be an age-related thing, as again, it wouldn't have mattered at all 15 years ago, but now... it's become a deal-breaker. Good to know we're not alone.
Prioritizing connection isn't awkward, just part of the journey IMO. I've loved connecting, and then re-connecting with beautiful brave and open souls over the years. It's a higher level of intimacy that goes beyond sexuality. Whatever path you choose, it doesn't have to be forever...maybe a trial separation from it all wouldn't be the worst thing? And if you came back wanting it like a 20 yr old again, well, Good luck!
Yes....That is why, In my view, it is important to establish a connection with a few gals who basically become regulars...you avoid a lot of drama....like getting verified, concerns about law enforcement, etc....and it gives you an opportunity to expand boundaries over time!
on why you hobby to begin with. For me I have plenty of people to hang out with, go to concerts, games, vacation, etc... If I am participating in the hobby it is for one purpose, the sex. So I am in my mid 50's and I have no issue having sex without the connection, in fact that is actually what I am looking for.
I am 57 and have been involved with the hobby for a long time. Can definitely relate to the post. Although there is a unique excitement in seeing someone new, the process of discovery and reciprocal connection over time with a lady is something I need to stay engaged.
Almost 60, and I like both. There is a woman I've seen for a dozen years, and now I almost exclusively see her. I like talking to her about how things are going, what we've been doing--the connection. And the sex is phenomenal. As well as the food she makes at the start of our multi hour sessions.
But on the very rare occasion, I still go to see one of the very hot young asian girls that cycle through town. Always mind blowing for me. Even though they barely speak English, I've never seen them before, and likely never will again. No connection at all. But hot, for 60mins.
With age comes wisdom. I've been fortunate to have sex with models, porn stars, MILFs and GND. Names and faces you'd recognize. I don't need another notch in my bed post. Connection creates sensuality, which leads to mind blowing sex. That's the stuff you remember!
with my dates. I'm in the under 40 club and I like passion and I'm not great at faking anything. I'm a terrible liar. That's why I rarely do doubles, and in the last couple years raised my rates and became more selective about who I see. My time is much more valuable to me now and my mind is open to continuous learning and loving.
I can totally agree with this!
Pretty with a fantastic connection/attitude trumps gorgeous with a poor connection/attitude every time. It's what brings me back.
Thank you for asking this question and all the answers. I'm a mature provider who sees mature gentlemen, Knowing their point of view really helps me cater to them and give them the best experience (in their eyes) that I can.
The hobby is certainly no substitution for the human need for connection. Being mature myself, I find my clients are seeking a connection, although it's not the same as in meeting a person you connect with in the real world. When that connection is made it's a beautiful thing. I know he's leaving happy and I feel awesome for it.
In my opinion, the hobby is just that...a hobby. Something we do for enjoyment and fun but it's not part of our real lives. In real life, we all have that need for connection...even providers.
Even though GFE isn't exactly what a mature man may be looking for, it's the closest thing you'll get to a connection...if your chosen provider is a true GFE and not using it a marketing ploy. GFE is what I offer because it does allow for a connection. I also take the time to allow a connection to be made. For many years I took the hour out of my offerings because they didn't allow for a connection. I recently added it back on a few requests (both ended in NC/NS) and removed it again today. I'll still provide the hour, just not advertise it. 90 minutes has always been my most popular offering, especially among the mature gentlemen. When I catered to younger, I got a lot of requests for quickies which I have no desire to offer.
Have a blessed day!
Becca Blossoms