Louie finally learned about the ranch. I'm a newbie, and I asked around about the ranch, and nobody would talk about it. What kind of wusses are on this board? I finally hooked up with a guy named Jimmy the P, or something like that. I offered him a deal he couldn't refuse, he either came clean(is that possible) or I was going to take his El Camino apart. Soooo now I know all about this ranch! I made an arrangement with Blondie up there, and she volunteered a sample of what I could expect! Like the commercial said, I liked it sooo much, I ate the whole thing! I'm now a VIP member, and I have a standing appointment... three times a week. I pay double for the first two appointments, but I get the third one free. You can't beat that.... and that girl thinks she's sooo smart! I'll teach her! Oh BTW, she offered me an even better deal! I get to pay triple for the first two and then the third is half price!! OMG, I do miss those hourly specials!!!!!
YES.... T.O.G. now you know: It was louie the lip that passed you at the door! sorry we didn't have the time to formally introduce the two of you *LOL* I am only guessing that he was very overdue back at his own homestead... thus the quick departure. Maybe you will be back down south for the board meeting, otherwise... might just have to meet at our national Satellite branch. On a totally unrelated subject: rarely does the Ranch ever put a gentleman on probation. However, for you we are making an exception to the rule (normally we just throw them out boots first!)So, if you ever take advantage of that particular ranch hand again you are BARRED !!! that's right, just remember you are there for the sole purpose of entertaining that one. Now scamper back to your hootie tootie hotel and think on that one! Just so that it is perfectly clear... you are there for her sole entertainment. Otherwise choose yourself another ranch Hand. There is truly a pleasure provider, but you didn't seem interested in that, so ya made your choice! Next complaint, lets go here..... we have things to do..... Oh and travel safe!
I don't think I'll make the next board meeting (which is too bad, they sound like fun), but I appreciate the sentiment. I wouldn't mind at all hanging out in Atlanta a whole lot more. I think I have a better chance of making it to the satellite location. Now as for that probation, I guess if that ranch hand really needs to use me that badly, I'll try to give her a few more opportunities next time. But with an older guy, you are never sure when a visit will turn into an old goat experience, so you just have to take your chances. That would probably get me on double probation.
I heard the Ranch was open again, and have already heard a story about "theolderguy" and his visit ... and about how he learned that one lady still thinks it's "all about her" ...
Well, I'm sure he enjoyed his time with her (as long as he kept the 6:1 ratio thing up-to-date, that is) ...
I think the next time I go (and, I =WILL= return!!), I'll get her fueled-up on sweet tea so that she just forgets about ratios and starts thinking about ME !!!
BTW - I opted to forego the special discount offers. They have this "Punch Card System" available. You get it punched once for each visit, and, after 10 punches you get a Half-Off Special!! (The only problem I saw was in the fine print ... It has to be punched on Both Sides!!!)
Wouldn't you know that there would be a catch!!! Those girls aren't stupid. I particularly liked that offer where the first three visits are double price, but you get the fourth at half price. What a bargain!! LOL Mike I understand that "theolderguy" is still not convinced that the ranch exists!
Well O2, I did have an L of a good time on my Atlanta visit, but I can't confirm this L and L stuff. And there is still on thing I don't understand guys. What is all this talk about being unable to do more than crawl home afterwards?
But Oxy, I did finally find someone who didn't fall asleep in the middle of the visit and that is a good thing! My doc always tells me that consuming lots of sugar puts you to sleep, too. Well, live and learn.
Hey olderguy, I read an article about pu**y juice, being a stimulant. Therefore, I recommend that you go for the juice early in the meeting. Don't forget now, it's PJ first.... not OJ, do you understand?
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
