Some funny Quotes To Make You Smile!

Some funny Quotes To Make You Smile!
I hope it brings a smile to your face.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
-- George Burns

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
-- Robert Frost

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
-- Josh Billings

Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a 'bus movie.
-- Sandra Bullock

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
-- Oscar Wilde

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
-- Roseanne Barr

For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
-- Matthew Broderick

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.
-- Author Unknown

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
-- Author Unknown

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
-- Author Unknown

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
-- Rodney Dangerfield.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
-- Gilda Radner

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-- Author Unknown

If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.
-- Author Unknown

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
-- George Bernard Shaw

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
-- Margaret Thatcher