Ladies and gents - what one piece of advice would you give to your partner if you could?
Something you really would like to tell them that they don't know.
Or maybe something they don't do enough of.  Or ever.  
And if you told them - you get a free pass.
And they wouldn't hit you.  
Or be offended.  
Or cry.  
Or blacklist you.
Or tell their girlfriends/guyfriends.

Ladies - what particular thing could your gent do for you (or to you) to make your time together much more pleasurable?  What gets your motor running?  (And, yes we guys need to take showers and brush our teeth - we already know that, lol).

Gents - what would make you sing your girl's praises if she only did it?  What would make you decide to see her again and again?

90% of my clients do this no problem, but occasionally I get someone where it's very clear I'm there to service them. Usually this manifests in them not wanting to kiss, trying to go at it right when walking through the door, etc. It makes me feel like a sex vending machine frankly, and is a big reason why my rates start where they do and I don't offer 30 minute appointments. I get everyone is different, which is why I've devoted a lot of time and effort into explaining my personality and companionship style on my website. I get that some guys just want to rip the lady's clothes off right away, but that's just not me (at least not on our first date). I need a few minutes to sit and chat and build the connection and tension. Seriously, even if we only have an hour it's ten minutes that will greatly enhance the next 50. I promise.

Oh, also intro emails: it's nice when you give a little personal touch, like what drew you to me or something cool about you. Of course screening info is most important but personalized interest goes a long way. I'm always doubly excited to see clients who demonstrate it.

I concur with you 101%. I rarely get one of those who act as if I was a service repair technician, but when I do ouch it does hurt a little, you can't be thin-skinned in this biz but that kind of ruins the moment.
   
And please, please, please understand that we very much appreciate all your activities and reviews on the various boards along with the time and expense involved however, we still really need to KNOW WHO EXACTLY IS KNOCKING AT OUR DOOR, please don't be angry for inquiring.

And I too really love those emails of introduction, very often the manner in which someone expresses themselves by pen (electronically of course, I really miss those lovely letters and handwritten notes) is an opportunity to look into the person transmitting the note because they have the time to reflect on what they are saying while doing so.........just my 2 cents, Suzee

-- Modified on 11/19/2015 11:24:36 AM

Ava, thank you for the thoughtful and intelligent post (as usual).  And I agree with pretty much everything you said.

But first, I don't want to discount the ladies that provide quick/convenient/economical service for a man's solely physical needs.  It's a necessary (and obviously thriving) business model.  And is also something that is an integral part of the hobby.  Like any kinds of businesses - it's good to have many different menus, service options, and price points to please the public.

And I've visited a few over the years for a quick release that was just what I needed.  It lowered my stress level, and let me to continue my day without distraction from below my beltline.  My main problem was that it was difficult to get off in 30 minutes...  much less 15.  I don't think I could get my pants off in 15 minutes these days.  LOL.

But now, most of the time, I find myself craving something in addition to that pure, physical release (as awesome as it is).  It's a need to have some connection and something to occupy my mind creatively.  I suppose you could use the term emotional connection, but not in the hand-holdy, girlfriendy kind of way.  It's more like having an extremely cool friends with benefits situation.  At least that's what I'm always looking for.

You know - someone who you come visit and they say "Hey, I just saw a new video on youporn that's really hot.  Wanna try it with me?"  Or maybe "I just had the sexiest dream last night and you were in it.  Let me tell you all about it...".   I don't care if it's real or not - I promise I won't even ask.    The point is about building that connection and sharing a fantasy.  With a special someone.

Speaking of - I guess it's one of the many things I like about role play.  When I come up with something I want to try with a girl, I've already started that creative foreplay process in my head.  It's a way of building and extending that anticipation for a long time before our actual date.  I've always been a daydreamer - I suppose it won't come as a shock to know I'm a sexual daydreamer as well.

So, I'm with you Ava - don't underestimate getting to know someone a bit before you throw them in bed and have your way with them.

Assuming you are into that, of course.  

PS:  Oh, emails of introduction - I'll have to try that sometime.  You really have to pull me out of my shell to get to know me.  I'm very shy and reserved that way.  But for you - I'll try.  
 

All men fuck other women... we are Low by Nature and we have to do it."  
- Eddie Murphy, RAW

There are so many variables that it's just too hard for me to quantify. common interests? conversation? seemingly unbelievable (insert activity here) skills? price? location?  

It'll take a much smarter man than myself to figure out what all goes into deciding a repeat or ATF.

My experience is that it's a combo of several things but even then.... but I'm not that faithful.  
If I was, would I really be logged into this website?

ga_kos

That was a very un-kosh-like response.  Are you feeling ok?

I was expecting at least a:

"Speaks fluent Klingon"

Or  

"Can dismantle and rebuild the TARDIS in 30 minutes or less"

Or

"Capable of playing the bagpipes while doing a Scottish jig on my spine with her dainty bare feet"

Doctor Who is my favorite thing amongst favorite things.

Oh I'm absolutely aware it's in the comfort zone of many ladies, and I agree it's a necessary service to offer. I was specifically speaking to my preferences and comfort. There are some women who much prefer getting physical without talking much about personal stuff, which I totally understand.  

And I love mental fore play, and role play is something I really want to experiment with more at some point. I love narratives and storytelling anyway and would love to blend those elements with the physical part of sex.

And I'm glad to be getting you out of your shell, I'm told I have a knack for that. Always a pleasure!

TARDIS joke just gave Ava 20,000 points on my Who's Line Is It Anyway score sheet.  
Love the comment.
Besides, Whovians like Ava are just Sexier.  
Psst... Ava, do you have a TARDIS sundress?

 
As for E, I got some bad news buddy:  
1) I don't speak Klingon. Hell, I can barely speak Engrish ;

2) relying on someone else to be the mechanic for my TARDIS costs me points on my Nerd Card. *keeps Sonic Screwdriver within reach*;

3) A woman playing bagpipes is not as sexy of am image as a woman playing my bag and pipes. I have not had many experiences with musicians but I'm more than willing to pop my cherry with the Harp Twins. I saw them at CONjuration this past weekend and ..those girls know how to Pluck.

tip your servers and try the veal,
ga_kosh  

P.S. - seriously though, that's a tough OP question.

I must admit this is the type of post I like to read. It gives me insight into what a lady feels. I'm there for an experience and NOT to treat her as a piece of meat.  She's human as I am and although this is a business she has feelings also. As a client that is still fairly new, I will admit it is tough at times to just have sex and leave, but as we all know here that's the nature of the business.

END OF MESSAGE

Girl Friend. Usually you wouldn't show up at your girl friends place and just push her down or bend her over and go to town without some warm up, unless you were acting out a senerio and then you should have at least disscussed it prevoisly. The same applies to providers. You may develop a good enough relationship with a provider to be able let her know in advance you wan to play out such a senerio but don't expect she is ready for that just because. Hell, she may tell you when you setup a date "I want you use me however you want". I could name a few ladies I know that have basicly done just that (not on the first visit). I would name names but that would be shilling

Even if you submissive. If we can do something that improves the enjoyment you receive, it will almost always increase the enjoyment we receive. Don't be affraid to "let your freak flag fly". Worst we can do is decline if we are comfortable with your request.

I've seen a few Tardis dresses, it's def on my list of wardrobe items to procure. Especially if it's actually bigger on the inside

I think it's nice in any profession (especially a service industry) to be treated like a human being.  Funny how we have to point that out as exemplary behavior these days.

In my prime dating days it was a personal foul if the girl treated the waiter or waitress badly.  It was a mandatory "no second date" penalty.  Why do some folks feel to be superior they need to step on others?  I've never understood that.

And as far as the written letter I know what you mean Suzee.  It seems like conversation is becoming a lost art.  It's why when I find a girl that can communicate well and likes to do so, she's a keeper.  Text messages are a blessing and a curse.  But mainly a curse.  For me anyway.  Imagine me being limited to what I can say.  To tiny little snippets of thought.  It's a crime against nature I tell you.  And the inanity of trying to have meaningful conversations through textspeak and emoji's...

Me: Hi babe, I'd like to see you.  How's Tuesday at 5p?
Her: OMG (heart) (heart) (heart) (cute bunny) (party hat) (dancing banana)!!!!!
Me: Ok, I take that as a yes.  Would you like me to bring some wine?
Her: LMAO (kitty cat) (smiley face with heart eyes) (birthday cake) (dolphin)!!!
Me: Uh, ok.  Yeah, I'll do that.  Are you up for a little role play?
Her:  YOLO (kissy face) (kissy face) (kissy face) (teddy bear)(sticking tongue out face)!!!
Me: Ok babe - I can't wait.  See you Tuesday!
Her: L8R (devil) (panda) (peace sign) (dragon) (party dress) (running around on fire guy)!!!

Man I feel old...  LOL.  
OMFG I just did it myself!!! (Guy banging his head against the wall emoji).
 

I think I need more aggression. I don't really like to make love or just fuck.  I prefer to "love fuck"
please don't take aggression as meaning to beat my ass lol but rather just "rough sex"    LOVE IT!!  
Hint, hint....lol!!
Hugs and kisses
TL

That's good to know TL.  And it's beneficial for anybody to share with their partners so they know what to expect.  I think it's especially important in the hobby world to know what kind of dynamic you are dealing with.  It helps to prevent disappointed providers and clients alike.

I'm ok with both submissive and dominant ladies.  Well - as long as the dominant ones aren't too controlling.  But to be fair I don't like anyone controlling or placing too many rules on me.  Ever.  I'm dominant - so, generally I prefer a slightly submissive partner.

Although I recently did have an outstanding time with someone who I consider dominant.  Sometimes two doms (dom and domme) can be a pretty spectacular combo.  The compromise is just to take turns fucking each other silly.  Actually I wouldn't call that a compromise at all.

That's more like a win-win scenario.  

I agree - keeping an open mind (on both sides) is helpful.

And that's one of the benefits of having a regular partner.  They tend to open up after a while when they come to know and trust you.  Especially when it comes to how they like to be pleased.

"Love Fuck and Other Terri Lynnisms That Will Spice Up Your Sex Life"

I think it would be a NYT bestseller

. . . Is to clip or file the fingernails. A nice finger banging is something that I thoroughly enjoy, but if it's done my someone who has either long or jagged fingernails it hurts!!! Manicures aren't just for us ladies!

That's a good tip for guys to know, Jess.  I keep my nails very short and clean - it's always been kind of a thing with me.

And I don't go sticking my fingers where they aren't invited - especially until I'm sure the girl enjoys it.  And I've known girls that even though they might like a finger or two (for gspot massage) they don't want anything inserted until they have been warmed up properly.  

So - clean, short fingernails and when in doubt - ask.  I think that's a very good policy.

Hmmm... Who am I kidding?  Asking me to limit myself to one bit of advice is like asking Henry Ford to build only one car.

What kind of a jerk asks such hard questions?  

I guess mine would have to be - communicate with me and be honest.  Well, not brutally honest - this is still my fantasy after all.  LOL.  But if you tell me what you like and what you don't (and I can do the same) then we should be in good shape.  Everything else we can figure out as we go.

Because open and honest communication is important to a good long term relationship.  Or ar least as honest as the hobby world will let us be.  

that is one damn funny monologue...........worthy of a few moments on stage, but it is exactly why I hate texting and much prefer other forms of communication particularly the forgotten art of writing, kind of a window to the soul and mind...........thank you for the laugh, you are a stitch...suzee