I have fallen for a provider.  As they say, I have been bit by the bug or shot right through the heart by cupid.  She knows it, too.  How do maintain a relationship like this?  She is working and will continue to do so.  I do not have a problem with that, but I am wondering how things can be good for "us".  Any insight by the ladies will be appreciated, too.

You wrote that "she knows it too" - does this mean she shares your feelings?  Or just that she knows you have fallen for her.

Just wondering....

Many have faced the conundrum you now face - few have "made it work", though that does not mean it is impossible.

I'd imagine this will generate good discussion....

...by remaining OK with what she does for a living.  After that, making the relationship work is no different than any other relationship.  That is, if her feelings for you are mutual.  You didn't say whether that was the case or not.

go for it and it enjoy it for what it is.  

if you are married you are asking for trouble as you will have time constraints.
if she cries in front of you get out and dont look back.

good luck.

Go directly to JAIL.  Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

(in my best Dr. McCoy - Star Trek -  impassioned plea)
For Chrissakes' Jim, you are paying her to have sex with you!
She would NEVER choose you for anything unless you are sporting Benjamins!
I'm Doctor not a Hypnotist, SNAP OUT OF IT JIM!

Seriously NN.  This is exactly like the little 7 yr. old boy with a huge crush on his 2nd grade teacher.  She's nice about it, but NFW!  Grow up, willya?!

Ask her to marry you and be the mother of your children (pending blood tests, of course).

http://www.nonstick.com/sounds/Bugs_Bunny/ltbb_158.mp3

You are suffering from an oxytocin overdose.  Sounds like you need a break from this provider until your head clears schoolboy.

Funny you bring this post to the board after I just finished reading an article about "one night stands".  The central point of the article was that both men and women occasionally desire one night stands and they can be great for body, mind, and soul; however, the biggest problem is that one or the other partner often can't separate the physical act of fucking from all the emotional side affects and thinks its more than it is.

Over the years there have been hundreds of posts by guys just like you, and I can't ever recall one such incident ever working out, but there is a long list of tragedies.

1) You are OK with her working

2) You  continue to be OK with her working and she starts wondering if you truly love her. We girls are not rational beings  so things end here with big bang.

If they did not end with (2), proceed to next stage

3) She starts spending more and more time with you and it cuts down her income

4) Shit happens, you break up, her client base is greatly diminished and she is pissed.  things end with HUGE bang.

Unless you are hardcore swinger you can't and won't be OK with her working if you truly love her.  Just does not work this way.  Another option when this works out if she is ready and willing to quit and has exit plans AND you are willing to support her while she is transitioning.

Lina

... and if you aren't married, run even faster.  Dude, snap out of it.  I'll catch flak of course, but the female species is biologically an irrational creature, but when you toss in the inherent issues a Provider/John relationship adds to the mix, you are out of your ever loving mind!  

How can things be good for "us", you ask?  You've got about a 1 in a million shot at success - are you feeling lucky?

with neither attempt successful.  My 2nd husband knew what he did before we got married, he said he was ok with it.  He even did a meeting with me where a guy wanted to watch and we did a small porno together.  So the problem wasn't that he wasn't open minded.  

Eventually though he was not ok with it.  You'll start thinking and picturing things in your mind and then it will turn ugly......

Or maybe not.  Maybe it will work.  I hope it does.   Good Luck to you.

Most men have trouble dealing with their women TALKING to other men, let alone being FUCKED senseless. And if a man doesn't have a problem with his woman being fucked by other men, then I submit that that man does not truly love his woman.

If tomorrow it becomes a situation where u must drop the provider career in order to save the relationship, what will be your choice career or relationship?

Since you are under an alias, so you should be able to answer honestly.

Do you see as many clients as you did before or less?

... have a follow-up question.  Does your new gentleman continue to see other Providers - that you are aware of - and is he married?  

If he is NOT married, I am curious to how you feel (or would feel) if he was fucking your competitors.

I do wish you luck, BUT... I'd bet a free session versus me paying triple your normal rate how this will play out.  If you continue in the business, YOU will break it off within the next few months because you perceive he is getting too clingy or close; if you reduce your business significantly or quit entirely, he will find a reason to skedaddle.  You'd think the opposite would be true, but mark my words....

If I hear from you in a few months, I know I owe you a wad.... if not, I know the inevitable has happened.

I for one am pulling for you both. I don't care what people say and I am sure you will face some obsticles but the romantic in me is pulling for a happy successful relationship.

Bon Chance

Willy

How many providers are in "serious" relationships?

And if you don't fall in love a little bit with each session, you're seeing the wrong providers!

I know of several providers over the years that have married a former customer.
Some last some not, just like in real life.

good luck atlgal

Her feelings are hard to read.  We have talked and things are going to continue "status quo".  Both of us are mature enough to know what is going on.  In no way am I trying to control her or her time.  BTW, I am not married or in a LTR and I do not live in the Atlanta area.

Not married or in LTR.  What is the problem about crying and yes, she has.

Not interested in marriage.  Already have kids.

I am one those people that have lived long enough to know certain things.  First, in the "love catagory", you have got release, to be released, which gives you emotional freedom. (No Drama)  Second,  I has to play out on its own.  I cannot force it, a relationship, that is.

We have breaks.  We do not talk everyday.

Not married.  Not even considering this relationship(?),  I am one of the luckiest people alive.  And I am thankful for all I have.  I think I have had worst odds before.

I agree with bella.  I have done this in the past and it works.  You just have to get it in your head that it msy end at any moment.  If you can live with that, go for it.

Thanks for the responses.  I know, and knew, the chances are slim.  I was active in the hobby years ago and wrote 25+ reviews.  I did not post much, mainly lurked and used TER information to help steer me in the right direction.  The last review was about 3-4 years ago.  I semi-retired then.  I met this lady last year. (I had not been with a provider in at least a year.)  I have a great life.  Money is not a problem and I continue to give (or pay) her money.  I do this so the pressure is not so great to meet her finacial obligations.  I think she is skeptical of my feelings because I am not trying to get into all of her business.  I am not jealous type or a possessive person.  I have not, and will not, ask her to quit the business.  That is a decision she will have to make.  I do not think or believe she is playing me.  I do love her, but I am certainly aware of the pitfalls.  She is holding back because of her past experiences and I understand that.  Everything will have to play out.  It is fun and exciting now, but what about tomorrow or next month.  I am old enough to know my feelings.  Even Forrest Grump knew what love is/was.  And it will not be the end of the world if things do not work out.  I have got my fingers crossed.

Means she trusts you and has opened up to you and has left herself vulnerable.
She is serious, Dude.

Thanks.  I hope it keeps going.  Not the crying, but the relationship.  I just wonder if I can handle her needs (not financial).  The one reason I have held back emotionally.

I don't think you are being entirely honest with yourself. If what you said about yourself were completely true, you would NOT have written this post in the first place.

I do not think that is an option.  She would not be interested in marriage now and I have been burned by it long ago.  Financially I am able, and would, set her up for the rest of life whether we marry or not.  I really do not need a piece of paper, I am capable of making the commitment without a wedding.  I will say, at a later time, if she insisted, I would definitley marry her.  Time will tell and in cases like this (escot+client = LTR), the slower the better.  Most things do not last forever.

I do not understand your response.  I would like for you explain.  I am trying to get feedback on this type of relationship.  Admitting it is complicated, in some ways, because of how we met and her line of business.  I am not asking for an exclusive relationship, not yet.  I am trying to figure it out.  I have not had these feelings in a long, long time.  And yes, I have had a few LTRs in my life.  

-- Modified on 4/25/2012 9:02:25 AM

In that case you are just wasting her time and as soon as she realizes it (if you two last that long) I would not want to be you.

I know exactly what you men.

good luck

You state that you are "not [the] jealous type or a possessive person".

As the wise, venerable Yoda once said:
"Heh, heh. You will be. You willlll be...."

Say it aint so

Fuck boards have the highest percentage of people engaging in art of self delusion

Lina

and pay for her time.

..want the explanation.

Sir C

think I am in the same boat. been seeing this girl for 2+ years. am married and bored with life, which is why I see her.she constantly tells me about other men she sees in a non pro scenario and try's to get my opinion on her relationships. she even told me about a guy she met on a dating site and how it didn't work out. I'm not sure why she does this, possibly  because she does have feelings for me?  not sure how to take this, but every time we spend time together, for last 5-6-months she talks about this shit. I  am worried that I  am having feelings for her but don't know if I should tell her or not. I think she wants someone to take care of  her and get out of business.