I think I've posted this before but it still makes me laugh...


 (1) What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
 .........Drool.


 (2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
 .........A full set of teeth.


 (3) How do you get a South Carolina cheerleader into your dorm room?
 .........Grease her hips and push.


 (4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
 .........Pay him for the pizza.


 (5) How do you know if a Mississippi State football player has a
 girlfriend ?
 ........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.


 (6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
 .........Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.


 (7) What are the longest three years of an Auburn football player's
 life?
 .........His freshman year.


 (8) How many Florida freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
 .........None. That's a sophomore course.


 (9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
 ........Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He knew that the police would never
 look at LSU for a Heisman Trophy winner.
 AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)


 (10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
 .........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday,
 and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

B. I'm sitting here alone laughing my guts out.

If this were about anyone other than white southerners people would be screaming in horror and you'd be considered a bigot. Why is it politically correct, and even encouraged by political liberals, to attempt to belittle the South? Have you ever attended or even visited any of the universities you so glibly denigrate?

Great stuff, Brooke but you missed one.
What do you get when you cross a pig with an Auburn graduate?
Nothing.  There are some things a pig won't do.

It's called rivalry...

Anyone who attended an SEC school grins at all but one of the jokes, and just bears the one about their school.  Those of us who didn't attend such institutions chuckle at them all.  But we don't let that influence our behavior.

Did you hear the one about the three guys who walk into a bar, a Priest, a rapist and a pedophile.....   And that's just the first guy   ;o)

I guess I should never go to a Braves baseball game since they do the "tomahawk chop" and I am half American Indian from the Crow tribe.

I think you need to relax and get laid!

for a second, I was afraid to post that I liked the jokes...being one of the few "Yankees" here.

thirsty

If you can't laugh at yourself then you shouldn't laugh at anyone else. Enjoy life.

You're not just a Yankee, you're a Damn Yankee (you stayed  here... Just Kidding!  An old joke for those who haven't heard it).

For me, I am GLAD that there still some nuts willing to live in Buffalo, Cleveland (etc., etc.) during the Winter.  That helps keep it from being any more crowded down here than it already is.
Doncha just love the snow drifts and digging your car out when you have to go somewhere?  I agree that snow is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, until it starts to melt.

How can you beat Atlanta?  We're only 2-4 hours drive from the mountains, 6 hours drive from so many beaches in E/W Fla., Ga., and SC, plenty of sports as long as you only like college sports (now THESE are the Falcons/Braves/Hawks that I have come to know and love.  I remember another joke about leaving someone leaving 2 tickets to an Atlanta "Pro" sporting event on their auto windshield, only to find 4 more when they got back.).

Another plus for Atlanta, IMHO we have some of the most beautiful ladies (of ALL Races and Nationalities) in the world!!!

Guess I'm not a Damn Yankee

I've only visited Atlanta through the magical interface of TER. I'm actually way up here in soon to be single digit temperature Boston.

thirsty

Re:Guess I'm not a Damn Yankee

My apologies - (1)for calling you a Damn Yankee, and (2)for your having to Winter in Boston.  I've been there - I drove in Boston once (in a new car), going away from town on a Friday evening doing 70mph, while getting passed in the emergency lane.  If a bridge abutment gets in their way they cut in like the r/h lane traffic is in their way.  I swore if I ever got out of there alive I would never drive in Boston again, and have kept that promise.

I travel around the South quite a bit.  I am based in Atlanta, and I surely believe that we can be proud of the beautiful women we have here in the South, and Atlanta has more than its' fair share of them.

The same half that will SCALP yo azz if ya piss me off! rotflmao!

I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

By the way, I transplanted from up North myself. I really can't see myself living anywhere else. As you guys have said, we have just about everything....not to mention some of the most amazing kind people there are.

xoxo
B

Plus, you have all those smart college football players.

thirsty

P.S. Winter in Boston isn't so tough...we're up to 37 degrees today. Back to single digits tomorrow and staying that way for the Pats/Colts game on Sunday!

-- Modified on 1/13/2004 9:44:18 AM