Crazy situations to figure out. Good luck
Making the right decision.

You are certainly no idiot for having such thoughts; there is probably not a married man who hasn't had such thoughts cross his mind at one time or another (and this has nothing to do with the hobby world.)  But I do question your sanity in putting this most intimate and intensely personal dilemma out for any suggestions or feedback from this forum.  You have a lot of soul searching to do, and this is not the venue for receiving the enlightenment or epiphany you seek.  Your head is going to be even more fucked up if you are seeking answers here.

Look at you....

"I am extremely attracted to a provider"
>>> Looks fade and thus so will this attraction (had you said Im really in love with...or i really care about...maybe my opinion would be different -- your word choices are very telling).

"and she has indicated she feels the same way about me"
>>> As long as your money is strong .. of course she will and you know what...so will that new girl that you make your regular 10 years from now and the one 10 years from now (she may really like you but its like a young professor dating a college student...you just kinda dont go there unless you both run into each other years later out of your roles)

"I have plenty of money now but with kids if I left my wife I would be dirt poor and she knows that. She hasn't suggested to me that I should do this"
>> Because she knows you shouldnt

"But she makes me happy."
>> You're happy because of the short spurts you see her in....absence makes the heart fond....24/7 with someone may put you right in same mindset and personal 'hobbies' that you have now

"Am I a total idiot to allow this thought to even cross my mind"
>>> Keep the game as what it is...the game.  Be great friends and keep it that way.  Why change a great thing that you have now.

Listen to the chorus of the song "Play your Part" by Rick Ross (link below).  Sing the chorus again and again and treat this as what it is.  Play your part

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SySinpnkU6M

At any rate....good luck!!

Really? You just need new pussy...problem solved

I forget where I heard it, but it is wisdom.

Beginnings are EVERYTHING, where you meet some one matters . . . A lot!

If you meet an awesome stripper that gets into your mind and you get her to marry you, then let's say she actually finishes college.  But not the junior college communications degree, she graduates from MIT with a degree in computer engineering.  Then let's say she has five amazing kids with you, there are going to MIT one day too, and then let's say she starts up a company and becomes a multi-millionaire and is a big deal in silicon valley.  Fuck let's say she creates the next Apple.  Now to complete the fantasy you don't get divorced, you retire together and see your wonderful grand kids every day.  At your 60th wedding anniversary guess what . . . She will be that stripper you married!

You're going to always think of her as a provider till the day you die, whether you run off with her or not.  After a while, you probably won't be able to get the money question out of your head.  You're thinking about starting a broken relationship . . . And therefore your judgement is bad, you should trust in your pre-fucked up self's judgement.  That is to say the person you are today is clearly not in the position to make decisions, so stick with the one you made when you were in your right mind.

Now for the final pice of advice.  Go get some new and better pussy, and ramp it up a lot, do really freaky stuff with a hardbody girl that you have less than nothing in common with, someone you can only connect to at a physical level, and that thinks nothing of you and would not give you the time of day without your donation.  Then fuck her with all your might.  This will help clean your palate, reset your mind, and break her spell on you.

And remember one of the main hobbying rules: never see the same girl twice in a row . . . Rookie move dude.

P.S. If she does ATM forget all that shit I just said, leave your wife and abandon your kids, and marry her

A writer was interviewing an Irish, double widower and asked how the first wife died.  The Irish widower said, "Oh, she died from eating poison mushrooms".   That's really sad said the interviewer, how did your second wife die?  The widower replied, "Oh, she died from blows suffered to the head for not eating her mushrooms."

I have to say Mo414 and Johnnycade are dead on. JC especialy so regarding the "power of beginnings" and the FACT THERE IS ALWAYS NEWER, YOUNGER, HOTTER, MORE ENTHUSIASTIC PUSSY EVERYWHERE!  Yup, FACT!

Dude, put on your big boy pants, love your kids, don't wreck your family, reign in your fairy tales, branch out and see as many beauties as you can while sticking to a budget.  The best way to forget someone is to see many others; it's an offense vs. defense thing....  

Good Luck

She is probably playing you for a fool, and it sounds as if you are falling for it.
you asked if you are a total idiot. Yes, if you fall for it you are a total idiot.

How many times have you seen her and she has rejected your payment?

Over the years I have heard many horror stories and a couple of good ones. It almost never works out.

If so, run the other way because you're setting yourself up for a horrible fall. I've got a little experience in this area and unfortunately can't go back and correct my mistakes.

Metaphor

When I was younger, I managed a restaurant. My goal was to provide the best possible service to my customers, which included the best possible food we could make to order, the best wait staff doting on their needs, and a clean, friendly environment, all of which should make the customer want to come back again and again, making them happy with a full tummy and me happy with their money. Mutual satisfaction was the endpoint.

But I never wanted to go home with my customers.

(I also never gave them free food just because they were regulars)

" If you meet her in a Bar, You'll lose her in a bar "

Sure nothing is 100% but this is close.

Stick with your family and switch ho's often.

Take experience from the "Professor" young lad...

While I have not totally tried to leave my S/O for a provider, I have indeed strolled pretty far down this path SEVERAL times before and let me tell you...IT NEVER WORKS.  Here is why:

1).  Think CLEARLY.  She is in the business for THE MONEY.  You are paying her.  Of course she isn't going to tell you to leave.  Nor will she admit she doesn't have feelings for you.  If she does that, you are crushed and don't want to see her again...money gone.  Bad business move if she did.  So she simply "doesn't suggest anything." This way, it's your own choice if you fuck up your home, and not on her shoulders.  She drags you along and you keep paying her.  Smart woman indeed.

2).  If you leave to be with her, she knows you will want her and ONLY her.  That means she will have to quit being a provider and get a different career.  Ain't gonna happen.  Again, she is a provider for THE MONEY, not for love.

3).  You just said your wife would wipe your ass out if you did this.  So you'd be broke and she'd have to quit.   REALLY??  Sorry brother, but money talks and bullshit runs marathons.  And you thinking she will stay with you broke just because YOU love her is not smart at all.  Didn't someone mention "idiot" earlier?

4).  Lastly, it's pussy bro.  You don't know shit about this woman until you see her at her worst.  What are her spending habits like?  Career goals and life plans?  Credit Rating?   What's she like when she isn't fucking and sucking for money?  Nice chick?  Total Bitch?  Is she loyal?  Have a man already?  Several?  I could go on and on but you get the idea.  Get your head out of HER ass and get ahold of yourself lad.  You're a hobbyist for a REASON.  Keep it that way.  Keep your wife, deal with the nagging and shit daily just enough to get away when you can, raise your kids until they are grown, and fuck as many providers as your wallet will allow.  If you are dead set on this one...that's fine too, but keep it BUSINESS.  Trust me, she sure as hell does.

I have done that "I really like her" bullshit too many times and not once had it panned out.  I finally realized that I am happier just paying for it and when I'm done, get my ass back to work.  If you want to leave your wife, leave for YOU.  But certainly not for another woman, and DAMN sure not for a provider!  Think with your brain lad.  Not your dick!

THE PROFESSOR

Does that count? They are still together and have two kids. He is happy, she is happy and I am happy for them. Life happens and happiness happens.

Remember you cannot make personal decisions based on popular opinions, poll and majority vote.