Ok, so I was emailing back and forth with a touring provider who offers Greek. So I asked her if she had any size issues because my Greek tour boat is thicker than most. So she asks me if I wrap a dollar bill around it does the dollar bill touch. She says if it doesn't touch, this could be a problem. Who knew this test existed! Of course I had never tried this test because, well, who the fuck would have right?  

So curiosity getting the best of me, off I go to whack myself to attention. Now, whacking for pleasure is one thing, but whacking to wrap a dollar is quite another. Needless to say, whacking for a 'measurement' isn't that arousing. Finally got a nice boner, and noticed I had no wallet with me. So off I waddle to grab a dollar from my wallet. Waddle back to my perch and think to myself, 'Self, you really need to re-evaluate your life'. But what the hell, already in now. Whack again to get full attention, and dollar bill begins to circle.  

Then I'm thinking, do I want it to touch, because then I get the tour. Do I not want it to touch, because then, well hey, I'm a man, we always wanna be huge! So I'm wrapping, circling, ends coming closer and closer. And then, alas, no more dollar bill. Nice gap between the ends. As the soup pussy nazi would say 'No tour for you!'.

Oh well, just thought I'd share this pathetic moment in my life and hope I get a tour some day.  

And guys, don't deny it, you are all off to do this test within the next five minutes and I wish you luck!