What would you do if you found out that your son in law was also a hobbyist?

not much you can say or do. It would be difficult to take a moral high ground with him for stepping out on your daughter, when you've done the same thing with your wife (or ex-wife, if that's the case).

It is hard to judge someone or asked them to stop doing what you are doing. Also what if your son in-law found out that you were hobbying. Did you bump into him at an agency's incall? If so that alone will probably make him stop.

Your daughter is a grown lady and she probably has a clue that something is up.  

For me I have no guilt when I hobby. I am a single guy with no kids.

Even if you didn't assume some kind of moral high ground, there's always the question of your daughter's trust.

Could you see if he gets busted, maybe gives his wife an STD, and the son-in-law throws you under the bus as well as some kind of "everyone is doing it" defense?  So there you are having kept something from your daughter that cost her her health, her marriage, and her trust in her father.

I think I'd just pack up and move to South America at that point.

Make it a foursome!!  As bonding experiences go - it is pretty unique.  

Seriously though - unless your surname is Corleone and you have some guys that can make the problem disappear - you really need to forget you know.  There is absolutely nothing you can do which will improve anybody's life.

IMHO - making yourself feel better by ratting him out is not going to help your daughter or your relationship with her.  It's their life - they are adults now and they need to deal with it or not as they choose.  It's really tough to let go.  For all you know, the two of them are perfectly OK with it - and would be really embarrassed if they knew you knew about it.

Of course - I am a hobbyist and not ratting others out is the "code" around here.  You might want to consider if this is a community you wish to belong to... or not.  It's a tough one.  I don't envy you.

And there is a reason I am using an alias for this post.... I don't think you are my father in law but...

It was just a random question. I don't even have a daughter, or even married. I was curious to how one would handle the situation

-- Modified on 4/12/2014 9:00:58 AM

I would do all I could to be sure I learned no more about it or got caught myself.  This is a lose/lose deal.  "Nothing to see here-keep moving" !!  No discussion-no subtle hints, no direct or indirect questions or comments !
 

-- Modified on 4/12/2014 5:59:12 PM

YOU were worried!?  My in-laws arrived for the week on Friday!
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Pretend you know nothing and keep your mouth shut!

as long as the funds are there earned thru hard work,
my son Spense de Monet can do the hobby.