“XXX provider hasn’t responded to my emails (phone calls) the past week.  Does anyone know what’s going on with her or how to reach her?”  

“what happened to XXX? I haven’t seen her post in a while...”

“I’m a regular of XXX and all of a sudden, she’s not answering my texts...”

I see so many of these types of post on this board and I honestly can’t wrap my head around why.  And let me say at the onset that I might sound like a total Bitch here and don’t mean to be.  I’m extremely direct and that often doesn’t translate well in print.  So please don't take this personally or as if it were aimed at YOU specifically.  It's not.  I also make every attempt to respond to all emails and rarely have a problem telling folks that I’m going to take a pass on them so I doubt I have a dog in this fight.  

So many reasons why providers don’t respond:  Vacation, UTR, taking a break from (new or all) clients, illness, is busy working the actual job and has a full schedule, got busted, too many emails to keep up with and doesn’t want to hire an assistant, thinks the person inquiring is a douche (or doesn’t pass screening to a level of comfort) and wants to avoid the pissing match (that in some cases) will likely to follow a denial of service, kids are sick, family’s in town, new boyfriend (or GF) and they are basking in the glow of personal sex, surgery, being stalked...  I can literally take up an entire page counting one scenario after another.  And in some cases those inquiries has the potential to cause harm.

Most of us are one person shops who manage ourselves our own way.  Some might think it unprofessional not to respond to every single comment or inquiry sent our way.  It's debatable but I’ve yet to find the complaint section for hookers at the Better Business Bureau or a standard of professionalism that suits every business model.  Having said that:  What is it that makes a person think it’s a good idea, or even appropriate, to attempt to contact a provider (or anyone) via a 3rd party and especially these public boards?    

I've given this a lot of thought over recent months and I'm still scratching my head. Providers aren’t the police, fire dept, FEMA, AAA road service, your bank or even Sears.  Personally, I’ve never known having a hard on to see someone to be an issue so desperate that it requires said public inquiry or the issues that follow. In fact, when I see such a post, I can't help but think that's a person I'd never want to meet in session. That they are extremely indiscrete at best. Or worse, they are an egotistical and demanding sort that has entitlement issues I'd rather not entertain (Just because you send an email or text or make a call does not contract that person to respond to you).  Or worst of all, he/she is an ex significant other, the law or someone who intends to do her harm and is trying to hunt her down with the help of the board responders and back channel.  Even if the ex significant other, the law or some who intends to do them harm doesn't initiate the post, their efforts can be helped by reading the responses.

How do you feel about them?

 

-- Modified on 9/28/2013 11:22:30 P

-- Modified on 9/28/2013 11:30:37 PM

At the time, I didn't see anything amiss with asking a simple question about a lady that I used to see frequently, but hadn't heard from in several months. I had made a point of telling her once that if she ever didn't want to see me again to please let me know. Because others had made the same type of request from time to time, I had no idea that I was violating some type of protocol, crossing a line, or breaking an unwritten rule. Evidently I was mistaken. By the way, I got no responses to my query.

A great many of those 411 posts are for ladies who, for the many reasons you listed, are not taking new clients for a period of time.  For example, there are a couple that I was interested in seeing that I subsequently learned are only entertaining regular clients.  However, their web site and TER contact info appears to still solicit new client inquiries via contact forms or emails.  It would seem to be very simple to enable an autoreply on email to that effect and/or to disable the contact link on the site.  That would seem to simplify life for the lady and to create some pretty good potential client goodwill.

As for the ladies who have dropped from the radar, I know of a couple of 411 posts and responses by innocent and well-intended gentlemen that could have done the lady considerable harm, given what I know of their situation.  The last couple of sentences of Erica's post are spot on.

So - ladies, if you change agencies and also identities, a lot of 411s would disappear if your new agency just posted that (some seem to and some not.)  And if you don't want to entertain new clients for a while, do something simple to let us poor guys know that.  And if you are dropping out for a while, tell your regulars goodbye.  Guys - it ain't personal.  If she's not answering, then there is a reason and it almost certainly has nothing to do with you (and if it does, then you are really screwed.)

Just my .02

I have had a few gents contact me and ask " you please have ......contact me? she wont return my calls or emails"  
I am sorry but this puts me in a position and I dont mind helping anyone out but if a provider wont return your calls and/or emails then there is a reason. I dont feel comfortable being the "middle man" and I know I am friends with a lot of ladies but that doesnt mean I can force any of them to see or contact someone they dont wish to. One guy even got mad as hell at ME because the lady wouldnt respond to him and he knew we were friends.  
I say if a lady doesnt respond then respect her privacy and wishes. I am sure there is a very good reason Some ladies are in school, some have families and life outside of here, some only wish to see a select few, some have other jobs, etc... so its all good to want to show the world how much you miss them or would love to meet them but it is obviously not what the lady wants and her friends definitely dont want to have guys putting the friend as a middle person to relay messeges then only to get mad at the friend.
I agree an auto response would be good but we really cant control how another lady handles her business
If a lady will not repond then move on to the next beautiful lady that catches your eye To many fabulous ladies here to have fun with
Hugs and kisses
TL

Every now and then, and just last week, I receive emails from clients or potential clients followed by another URGENT email asking that I do NOT respond the email address they originally.  They sent if from the account their wife or children or secretary has access to by mistake.

Additionally, I hear what you're saying and it does make sense.  But sometimes they seem to fall off the earth and don't want it to look like they fell off the earth.  Or maybe they're trying to aboid a certain person(s).  For instance:  I'm trying to stay away from Too Tall Tony and his poker buddies and ignore his emails.  So they reach out to me and get crickets - no idea what's going on.  Then the "where the hell is EricaStone" post comes about and Johnny says, "I saw her last week at her new incall in Buckhead."   Damn... all the best made plans!  

It's tough mentally to wrap around or to be able to consider all the possibilities but this here hobby is not a closed or very safe guarded community.  Unless you have an appointment with them, I'm not talking about a pass to flake on something that's been arranged and agreed to... Why does anyone owe an explanation to anyone about their status?  And again, we're talking about possibly meeting for mutual pleasure, not something I personally put huge 'real world' importance on.

Thanks for input though, definitely some things to think about.  I know I will.

-- Modified on 9/29/2013 9:25:19 AM

END OF MESSAGE

I have had this issue and I choose not to see such persons as it violates my personal requests of true discretion and therefore makes them a danger to my safety and personal life. I have even had guys harass my assistant and email other board members so as to try and band together and bully a response or overthrow my assistant as she was believed to be cock blocking them.  

Fortunately, I am simply in the position to ignore and add to my DNS list.
It is disturbing really. The times have changed. We may have to start 'paying them to go away.' There's a thought....'here, keep this $20 and don't email me everyday or post on the forums, thanks!'  

As you stated, some of us do have very full personal lives with careers and families such as the gentlemen so why are we not deserving of the same standards of respect, discretion, and personal space. Mindboggling.

In the meantime, I simply contact the poster directly and request they remove their posting and they usually do. As far as emails, if no assistant, filter addresses and content if you can via your email host OR eat a light breakfast, have a brown bag on hand, dust that Delete button off, and sift through it simply deleting and ignoring anything that makes you uncomfortable in any way. We are still human beings, maybe raging sexpots as well, that are deserving of common decency and personal comfort nonetheless.

Good Luck

It seems like people have forgotten what no strings attached means.   If I wanted to report my comings and goings or the general state of my life - I would get a boyfriend or girlfriend  and I don't have one  

Haha! Agreed

Came the loss of anonymity. That to me was the worst part of the biz going viral. I do understand why sites such as this began as the men were at a disadvantage with bait and switch and robs, so on and so forth.  
This site was built by a hobbyist that had many bad experiences and he wanted a way to help other men avoid those problems. Understood and good idea. The flip side of that though is that it took the Power Out Of The Pussy completely and gave the Men the edge, Instead of it being 50/50 as it should be now we women are backed into a corner.
When I first started almost 2 decades ago, There was no BBBJ nor DFK nor CIM until you became a repeat client. There was Anal but with an extra fee dependent on the package you possess.
Now its like Domino's all the barriers fell, anonymity lost and dangerous practices have become the norm.
ISO's are a natural progression and just another one of the Domino's. IF a man is seeing a gal repeatedly over a period of time, then she just goes invisible for any one of your stated reasons, either auto response or an email letting them know that youre taking a breather would be wise. You have no need to explain but, you must expect that in a business full of emotion, You will be looked for by those clients and ISO's are to be expected. Unfortunetly.

 
tyvm,P.T.

I have always used and always will use an auto response. No offense, but if a guy is too stupid to protect himself by using a discreet email, I have no interest in seeing him. In six years, I have never had ONE guy say "OMG your auto response was sent to my work email" because if he was dumb enough to use it, did you think I would not reply myself? Either way, it's on them, not me. I get paid to be discreet, but I can't fix stupid.  

My email account and website are for those who use common sense. Sure, mistakes can happen, but that's not my fault. I am not going to bother responding to every bs email and not alerting the serious clients of my availability or if I am on vacation, because of a few dipshits who can't cover their own tracks. I simply don't cater to men like that.  
 -- Modified on 10/2/2013 9:02:40 AM

....this is like the 2nd or 3rd most 'liked' post i've seen on TER lol.