I was in Vegas a couple of years ago. A friend of mine (male, unfortunately) was in the room . I got out of the shower, looked down at my little buddy and said " How does something so little, get so big ?" He still laughs about it.

One of the best one liners I ever got from a female was years ago, when I first started traveling for  a living. I was in a bar and an attractive female walked by with a drink in her hand that had a cherry in it. I asked her if I could have her cherry. She replied, she lost that a long time ago......but still had the crate it came in.

One of the all time greats is to ask a lady if she knows what would look good on her. She says no and then the man says " me ".

Do it all while you can

"Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."  Mark Twain

It's doing what you don't want to...that's gonna determine ...what your gonna be ...when you can no longer help it.

Essential food Groups. Any girl that likes 'em is a girl after my own heart

Two thoughts that go hand in hand, and never go out of style.  "I'll drink to that" and "It's 5:00 somewhere".  In fact, I think that's Jack Daniels calling me right now.  Excuse me, I have to take this call...

I am 54 in body, 25 in heart, and I have been accused of being under 10 in maturity. Hey, I claim them all!

I guess a blowjob is out of the question when handed a reject line.
Only happens when i dont have cash! lol

Mine is actually a song lyric by John Lennon. It rings true when you are staring 60 in the face. "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."

just curious why you think that begins to ring true at 60.  thats an amazing line and I've spent hours discussing it, but it was mostly 20-30 years ago when my friends and I weren't sure how we were going to reach our goals

It rings true for me because the older I get the more I understand it.

Actually Bella, I have two I use frequently.  The first is "No matter how hard I've tried, I cannot suck off a tattoo."

The other refers to a few times that I have been lucky enough to be with a muscled beautiful lady.  On the way home, I usually say "Please G-d, let that have been a large clit, not a small dick."

Have a great birthday year.  You deserve it.

mine has been for a long time, " Life is too serious to take it so serious."

If I can't laugh, have fun and love those I want then go ahead and plant my ass!

Willy

Now my friends are gone and my hair is gray,
And I ache in the places where I used to play,
And I'm crazy for love, but I'm not coming on....
Tower of Song by Leonard Cohen

Happy Birthday!!!

"MIND OVER MATTER "

and one more  "YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, SO DO IT"

"We cannot live for ourselves alone." - Herman Melville

The two phrases I find myself using more than any:

1. There's nobody crazier than people.

2. Do I want to be Right, or in a Relationship?

You can call me Daddy anytime!