It is easier for them to just ignore you.  There's something wrong, but they don't want to tell you for fear of it being an argument, unpleasant or uncomfortable for them.  I don't think that's right, but I'm a man.  Women are just like that. You have to accept it and move on.  And yes, this goes for civvie women as well.

If they just quit seeing you it may be an attachment issue.  Either on your side or their side.  Not saying your guilty of this but some providers just don't like that "committed" feeling of seeing the same person on a regular basis.  They may feel "trapped" per se.  They may feel they are almost required to see you as you two have been seeing each other for so long.  Maybe they themselves felt a little too close to you and felt they needed to let you go but didn't have the guts to tell you b/c you did nothing wrong but they just can't explain the "why' of it.  They may also have a significant other and seeing you so regularly made that relationship a little uncomfortable.  These are just some thoughts of mine.  You sound like a great client and I think it's wrong to string someone along and just drop them with no explanation and ignore them.  I love seeing the same gentlemen every week/month and have no significant other so if you need a new favorite:  "All Aboard"  

I am forward to a fault.  Too often say exactly what's on my mind and have had to learn tact, or something like it, since making this my profession.  I do the best I can but the truth is, there may not be a specific reason - perhaps just having seen you so much makes you too much like dating someone or they don't feel they are thrilling you in the same way.  They are convinced their reason is going to cause a reaction from you they don't want.  They don't want the confrontation as another poster mentioned, a lot of guys CAN'T handle being told no or being told "I don't want to see you anymore"  and it makes the issue a situation to be dealt with rather than just leaving it alone.  Men being told no thanks more often want to argue the point, deny that she should feel the way she should, they take it out on her on the boards, in back channel, in review, become harassing or a complete asshole towards them in general - none of which is helpful or necessary or even fair.

Like you said, it's their choice who they want to see and while I'm more likely to say, "I appreciate the time we've spent together but I think I would like to take a pass now and move on from this point."  The typical response is to that is "why?" and, frankly, it doesn't matter and I don't owe explanations "I'm going to take a pass" or "I don't want to" is sufficient but more often that not brings about a far worse response TOWARDS us than leaving you scratching your head.  Men often feel entitled, "I've spent x amount of dollars on you or have seen you x amount of times so you owe me a reason (that I can understand and agree with)" and that's just not likely to be the case.  Try politely telling someone that you've spent intimate time with that you no longer wish too and see how they feel and/or how they react.  In real life it's almost always a huge potential for drama.  In this business it SHOULD be as easy as turning around a walking away and if it's not, you're too invested and it would seem time to end it anyway. It's NOT low class it's a choice on how to deal with it.  You should not NEED to have a reason in order to be able to move on.  Just move on.  

This is a business and we have to have our business practices to follow and judgement of those practices are subjective.   But remember it's a one person and a pay for play type of business.  It's not the utility company or the only doctor in a small town or the fire department.  Pay for play, not life or death, not dating, no strings attached and (as you said) it's their prerogative whether or not to see you regardless of what the reason.  The reason just doesn't matter and shouldn't HAVE to discussed, same result - no more appointments.  

As providers we deal with the same thing.  All of a sudden one of our regulars isn't calling anymore for any number of reasons.  The guy may have found an ATF they want to spend more time with.  Or they may have less funds or they don't like something the provider did on their last date or they are trying to be devoted to their wife or they now have a GF or whatever.  We aren't usually privy to those reasons.  If they felt we needed to know why they would tell us.   But 99% of the time they don't it's OK because it's their life and their decision and they don't owe us an explanation.

I absolutely LOVE my career and I have a ball 99% of the time.  But quite candidly, dealing with some one's entitlement issues are the single most irksome and wearing activities we have to deal with on a regular basis.

Thank you for being a loyal hobbyist.  I wish you the best.



 

Who have entitlement issues but I'm dealing with men in this context and not women.  I know we as women can be quite the handful, really I do.  So please don't start sending me PMs about how some unbalanced woman has made ridiculous demands or acted out like a freaking child.  I am not judging men to be worse or better but simply dealing with this issue in this context.  

-- Modified on 11/18/2011 8:42:33 PM

This is not meant to be about relationships. That being said, it can be difficult with some ladies to not get closer than others. This is about fantasy, desire amd yes, deception. We can fool ourselves into thinking we are more desired than the money. We can fool ourselves into thinking someone who was a client is going to not get bored with us when a hotter lady comes along or that a hot 20 something hottie is really going to want to be with an over weight older guy for the long run.

The reality is the healthiest way to approach the hobby is to remain anonymous and keep moving.

Not cynical, just been there.

Peace!
Willy

Thank you for your very thoughtful response.  You've given me some food for thought.  I appreciate your candor.

You are 100% correct - I most certainly did enjoy my time with these ladies and we've "parted" on good terms, just not my terms, which is the usual path in this hobby.  I appreciate all the good responses, and I think I have learned something from posing the question, and that is always a good thing!  I also appreciate the restraint from those that could've busted my balls, and didn't.

I think the "just not my terms" is at the root of the bruised ego and I need to reevaluate my thinking from the lady's perspective and I really appreciated Carson & Erica Stone's responses.  They were both spot on.  To LP, I really don't think I'm a difficult client, but who the hell knows what pushes other people's buttons; however, I doubt I was any more difficult on appointment #19 than I was on appointment #12.  And in the incidences I am referring too, the ladies always texted or emailed me to let me know their availability with a "... I hope you can schedule..." message.  Then an abrupt change of heart..... oh well...

Carson's response really sparked my curiosity and I think her reasons may be at play in my case[s].  There has been an overabundance of discussion on this board regarding clients falling too hard for Providers; crossing the line; becoming possessive, stalking, etc, etc.  However, there hasn't been much discussion about those cases when a Provider falls for a client or starts to believe she is getting too close emotionally and how those Providers handle the situations.  My guess is much like my old friends did.

Thanks to you all.