Hello from Santa,

Sorry, what I meant to say was "Ho, ho, ho!"  Um, don't take that personally.  I mean, that's just a thing I say.  I wasn't call you ladies ho's.  Oh boy.  This isn't going well is it?  Look can we just start over?

Dear ladies of Atlanta - Old Santa needs your help.  I'm trying to get my compute infrastructure integrated in a cloud network so I can compete with Amazon and my Google analytics are indicating there's a nexus of statistically anomolous parameters centered in Atlanta.  Oh, I lost you there?  Sorry that happens.  Let me reword...

Naughty or nice...  It is a simple decision.  Or it should be anyway.  But it seems that many of the ladies in the Atlanta region are being classified as both.  Naughty and nice that is.  And that just can't be.  It breaks my decision model here at the north pole.  And that's bogging down my present delivery system.  And with Amazon, Walmart, and HomeDepot all on my chubby ass... well, it just doesn't look good does it?

We don't want to see Old Santa outsourced to China now, do we?  Seriously.  How's that story going to sound for the kids?

So here's Santa's plan...
Santa will be visiting the ladies of Atlanta personally to decide who is naughty and who is nice.  Once and for all.  If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.  Well, please don't tell the elves in my shop that.  They'll get their little feelings hurt.  And I'd get grievances from the elves union local 309.  What a bunch of pansy assed littl... Sorry, back to my plan.

Yes, the naughty or nice thing.  Ok, when Santa comes to visit you ladies here's how it will go.  You will wear your sexiest lingerie - or in the case of the adventurous ones your birthday suit and you'll sit in Santa's chubby lap.  Don't be shy.  Hop right up there.  Feel free to wiggle around a bit if you like.  Oh, yeah... just like that.  

If Santa gets a bit... excited, don't be shy.  It's a perfectly normal elvish response.  Happens all the time.  Well maybe not as much as when Santa was younger but that's ok.  It's not the size of your north pole, it's how you use it.  That's what Mrs. Claus tells me anyway.

So here's the important point.  When you sit in Santa's lap all sexy like and Santa gets a chubby.  I mean even chubbier than usual...  He will whisper into your ear something very special.  Most likely something dirty.  Maybe even a limerick - Santa loves a good dirty limerick you know.  And here's the thing ladies... if you giggle, laugh or blush then Santa will put a check in the "nice" box for you.  If you whisper something even dirtier back into Old Santa's ear along the lines of "yeah daddy, I'd love that!" then Santa will put a check in the "naughty" box for you.  And add you to Santa's special contact list.  For when Mrs. Santa is out of town.

So, I hope you Atlanta ladies are all dolled up (or naked - Old Santa doesn't judge.  Well, actually I do, but you know what I mean...) and ready to jump in Santa's lap to get your uh... present.  And you're welcome.  Do you even know how busy I am this time of year?

But I love the ladies of Atlanta.
They have a special place in my heart.
And in my lap.

Any questions, comments, or concerns please direct them to me at:

[email protected]

Thank you

Oh, and Ho, ho, ho!

Again, nothing personal.

END OF MESSAGE

For your information - Santa cannot be judged, Santa is the one WHO judges.  He is magic, immutable, timeless.  He is not naughty.  Well, not so far as you know anyway.

And who do you think you are you to judge Father Christmas young lady?  That is quite cheeky of you.

Speaking of cheeky - you should be spanked for your naughtiness.  For a good, long time.  Right on Santa's knee.  Preferably with you in a thong.  Yes, definitely.  Maybe that little red number you've got that leaves nothing to the imagination?

Wait, how would I know that?  Uh, well - Santa sees all.  And I mean that literally.

Hey, it comes in handy at the north pole.  Our internet service sucks, do you know how frustrating it is watching youporn when it keeps rebuffering?  A guys gotta have some "me time" you know..

I like the way you think, Miss TL.  That is very naughty of you.  Which is nice.  Oh, you know what I mean...

There's nothing Santa loves more than disciplining ladies on his naughty list.  I mean if Santa doesn't show them the errors of their evil ways - who will?  It's more of a public service really.  You're welcome humanity.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention Miss TL.  Why don't you climb up on Santa's lap here?...  *oh yeah, just like that* Now whisper in my ear what you'd really like

especially her mouth. Perfect  for my candy cane.....

Ho, ho, ho!

Now that's the Christmas spirit Santa likes to see!
I've got my eye on you Miss Taylor.  
Hey, maybe you could come teach Mrs. Claus a trick or two?
I'd be very appreciative if you know what I mean.
Don't get me wrong - I love Mrs. Claus dearly but after centuries of just missionary, things can get a little stale in the bedroom.
They say variety is the spice of life.  And our bedroom can use some spicing.
And I don't mean gingerbread...
Maybe you could teach her that nuru thing?  Or that trick with the swing or how to use that big vibrating toy thingy?

Yeah, let me say it once again...
Santa sees all.
Some of you have been very naughty.  Very naughty indeed.

And Santa thanks you for it (again, internet porn at the north pole is really flaky)

END OF MESSAGE

You are quite welcome young lady.
That's what Santa is all about - making dreams come true!

Note to self:  Santa's never gotten road head while flying his sleigh...  Add that one to the bucket list.

Ho, ho, ho!

Is this the same Santa that used to do socials and came to visit me? Probably not.

But no, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance.

However Santa does tend to get around a bit you know...

END OF MESSAGE

Bad Santa,  bad, bad Santa!!! Lol
I'll cum, sit on your lap if I can tell you what I REALLY want....and I can stick my nipples in your mouth 😆

Mmmmm..... she sure does have a pretty mouth! 😚

-- Modified on 12/15/2016 7:19:24 PM

Old Santa wouldn't turn that request down.
Nosireebob!

And you know Santa likes nipply weather.

Ho, ho, ho!

Well then, step into my workshop young lady, I'm very excited to check out your uh... qualifications.
Yes indeed.
I'm always interviewing for new positions for ambitious, creative, and open minded ladies.
Especially ones that can work magic with wood.

*wink*

Ho, ho, ho!

You are very sweet.  Santa likes the way you think.
I'll put something extra under your tree this year.

It seems you have the spirit of Father Christmas in you already.
But if you ever want more Father Christmas in you just call.

If you know what I mean.

Oh, naughty, naughty Santa!

Ho, ho, ho!