This is a wish for someone who tells me time and time again that if I put something out to the universe, something will come of it. In her words though, different from how I write it above. She always knows exactly what to say and how to say it. Sometimes though, she does not see the negative stuff. In a way I wish for her to see the negative stuff for her own good, but then that would not be like her and perhaps could be a bad wish for her. So, I wish that the negative stuff could possibly become positive somehow instead. Though I am certain that is not possible. I care so much for her that it hurts to see someone taken by another person. I cannot protect her the way I wish to do so, so instead I prefer to not be around it. I do not want to see what I am certain will happen. Her body, mind, and her soul are the cleanest I have ever had in my presence. It is hard to stick around and see pain come to her. She is certain she is helping someone out, whereas I know different.
My wish is that the negative becomes positive and her heart is not used and taken advantage of. Hope all of that makes sense. Guess I could not be anymore vague about it. I do not want to point fingers or mention names (as I did that to my new found enemy today already).
Jolie
Sometimes, you just have to stand by and when she needs you, jump in and rescue her. Maybe right now she thinks that things will work out and your concerns for her welfare are overstated.
She sounds like she has the soul of a poet and often, poets live in a world of their own making and don't see the despair that an objective observer would see.
When she cries out, just be there for her..... and never say"I told you so"
Am I in concert with you??
Get used to it (it's a 3 0ut 9 Inning game and a long season). Best you can do, per Ox, is just be there when she crash lands. Listen to her pain and tell her you lover her. However, you can tell her I told you so. It relieves the frustration of watching it develop and not being able to do a thing about it. She can take that and eventually if she hears it enough she might let your positive energy guide her away from such paths before it's too late.
Instead of getting used to it, just going to get away from it before I get manipulated too. Its like poison ivy, it may be contagious and may spread through your entire mind.
I agree with Krunchie and Ox that all you can do is be there for her after she crashes but I also understand why you have to step away. You can't hang in there and watch. My advice, let her know that you're there when and if she needs you but take a few steps away for your own peace of mind. Remember, no matter how good your counsel is...you're wasting each other's time if she's not ready to "hear it."
Good luck!
thirsty
Dear Jolie,, I'm sure I know who you are talking about even though I don't know the circumstances of the dilema she is in. I do know that if she feels that she is helping a friend, she has to go with it. If she is wrong, she is wrong. I agree with Thirsty,, all you can do is let her know she is there if, and when, things go sour on her. I know that anyone you care about must be a very special person and this is something she has to do. I know that sometimes when I help a friend,, I know that friend will let me down,, but I also know that sometimes when I help a friend, that friend will be there for me and will make me proud that I helped them.
Bill
Oh,, let me know if you just want to talk sweetie
Everything happens for a reason and the challenge has always been finding the reason. We immortals, like to find the reason fro everything up front and in the begining and also like to believe we are in control and the master.
Ironically, it never happens that way. We, the so called masters will find the reason only at the end. That is the challenge called life and living.
Now the question is how do you come to terms with this universal "chaos". There are things in your life you can directly control with means you have (intelligence, money and other material things) and there are things in your life you will never be able to control. Distitiguishing between them and carrying accordingly gives you inner peace. Trying to control things you can never control and fighting against it makes positive things look negative and nergative things looks positive.
Long ago I read some ancient text (I think I was 15 or so) and the one thing always remebered is the diffrence between controllable and uncontrollable occurances in life and another important thing I always rememebered is living in between is called an "illusion".
Jollie, you know who wrote this and we talked about this many times!
So this appears to be one of thos things out of your controllable domain!
Call me if you want to talk.
at this time in my life, do not have the time nor the patience for it. If she goes out of her way to seek my help, then it will be there. I will not purue helping her. It is too stressful and I have other things requiring my energy and focus that take priority. Such as teaching my mean dog love and my too sweet dog confidence. They need me, they depend on me, and they come first before a grown woman that is independent and can do things for herself. That is the way I see it. It is lead, follow, or get out of my way. No time for drama and playing pretend. I got that from growing up with older sisters. I do not need anymore of that. You can agree I feel certain, though you are probably thinking this is not like me to respond this way.
Jolie
Well, it is a bit 'out of character' at first read, but then, when one thinks about it, Jolie is the kind of person to want to do what is best for her friend. I think the venacular may be something like "tough love"
Stick with the program sweetie.
Bill
If she wants to hang around someone that is manipulative, then I will let her do it. Hate to see it because I did my homework on this other person and have found steady trends. If she wants to try to help a manipulative person, then so be it. It would be a waste of my time and has already been a waste of my energy. It will be no more though. I like to see those sunshinie days and as few of those gloomy days as possible. If she thinks she can help a person who consistently has gloom only to manipulate others, then she shall. But, without me being worried over her constantly. I know too many other things I need to be worried about before I am a grown woman. In addition to that, she does not want me to be worried for her. She says she is aware of things. Though I feel she is not. I do not like that constant wonder in my mind if she is seeing it for what it is or what someone else wants her to see it as (that is inaccurate). I will speak no more on this. As I said, it is a waste already for me and will be that no more beyond this sentence.
Jolie