No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays..
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you’re not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem... They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family.. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this message is especially for you...
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.
I love to see you smile.
SEE YOU ALL AT THE HOLIDAY INN…he…he…he
-- Modified on 1/8/2014 1:37:27 AM
Can afford to see a few girls here and there. Lol lol! This was too funny...
No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays..
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you’re not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem... They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family.. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this message is especially for you...
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.
I love to see you smile.
SEE YOU ALL AT THE HOLIDAY INN…he…he…he
-- Modified on 1/8/2014 1:37:27 AM
DOWNSIDE
No matter HOW much you tip the maids, they aren't going to change your poopy adult diaper !!!!
((don't even ask me how I know that!!!))
All you would have to do is drive your Rascal scooter down the hall for some booty duty.
No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays..
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you’re not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem... They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family.. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this message is especially for you...
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.
I love to see you smile.
SEE YOU ALL AT THE HOLIDAY INN…he…he…he
-- Modified on 1/8/2014 1:37:27 AM
* That's Spending the Kid's Inheritance
No nursing home for me. I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays..
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you’re not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem... They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family.. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I'll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this message is especially for you...
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)
I'm only sending this to my 'old' friends.
I love to see you smile.
SEE YOU ALL AT THE HOLIDAY INN…he…he…he
-- Modified on 1/8/2014 1:37:27 AM
I am not sure if I have anything to look forward to, but it sure was funny. It may also be a good idea to find and marry a young nurse who can get all the free viagra needed for those golden years.
I pondered the logic at first and then couldn't help but laugh the more I read! lol Good show!!! (in my English accent)lol
What a positive way to look at it! That is really some funny shit 
Hell at that savings you could also invite your favorite hooker once a week too!
Hugs and kisses
TL