Is it me or does it just seem sad that according to the current poll, 33% of the guys are only intimate with their SO 1 to 4 times a month. The 29% who are single are probably that way by choice rather than to get married and then fall in th rut of the 33% crowd. After seeing stuff like thing makes me think why bother to get married. I know this may be the 6 million dollar question but how does intimacy just fade with the person you decided to spend your life with? And if it does fade like that, why stay married. And please don't say "For the kids" because the child suffers more emotional damage growing up in a loveless household than he/she would in a house where the parents are divorced but still support each other and the child's welfare.
I agree, most men and women fall out of love at some point, but thats not the case for all. Some men and women alike get use to all the daily grind of being a couple trying to make it together financially, mentally and emotionally that they usually take each other for granted and don't take the time out to be open and exciting sexually. I believe that after being with someone over 5 years, some may seem alittle stale in the covers, especially if the sex wasn't one of the reason you got married in the first place.
They reason why people stay together, well thats a array of different reasons other than the kids,but the biggest reason is most couples are financially dependent, unless they both are well stabled in their careers, Most women don't want to loose that security and most men don't want to have to pay child support and alimony, because usually its way more than if your together. Remember the phrase "Cheaper to keep her" thats a true statement. Some people are just comfortable with each other and the sex thing isn't on the top of their priority list, therefore they can go having sex once to four times a month and never be upset about it. Mainly marriage is about friendship and togetherness. Its about making your relationship work at all cost because you've decided to spend your whole life with this one person.
As far as being single by choice, there is nothing wrong with that, some people aren't into all that building as one and going the long haul and lost of singles are just single because they want variety and don't want to cheat or get divorce. I personally don't feel as if I'm the marriage type, I'm very much a free spirit, who loves to do want I want without answering to anyone, so marriage to me right now is not something that appeals to me, but you never know with the right person in the right lifetime anything can happen!
I love your choice of words in the beginning. You equated marriage to "the grind" and that is what it becomes for many couples. IMHO it takes more than sex to keep a marriage together, BUT being intimate with your mate is one way to strengthen it. Both parties have to NOT take each other for granted and YES, work at it. I could not live with someone who I couldn't stand to, or didn't want to make time to be intimate with. If that is the case, financial stabilty or anything else is not worth my peace of mind. I would get bitter and spiteful like a lot of couple in their marriages. I would rather be happy with myself than financially stable by being with someone I have to share my bed with and don't even want to touch.
Sade unfortunately what you say is reality in my life. My wife and I had many years with virtually no intimacy, yet I could not STAND the idea of her not being by my side. I know I loved her, she was my very best friend, but somehow intimacy got overlooked so long that we seldom ever thought about it anymore. Well when she was 47 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was horrified, but stood by her side until she took her last breath last November. I have been devastated ever since because I KNOW I could have made it better. I KNOW I took her for granted and always thought "aw heck, we have alot of time to make up for lost time, then we can retire and take it easy" But it didn't go that way for me. Guys, hear what I say, just think what it would be like if she were gone tomorrow. I grieve every day and the only relief I get is thinking that "it doesn't hurt anymore"
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!
