Ladies...I've sort of stopped hobbying because I am just plain embarrassed at my difficulty getting and maintaining an erection.  I'm getting older (aren't we all; I'm in my 50's), I'm on several meds and I've put on weight in the past couple of years.   I know the solution...lose weight, eat better, exercise, etc.  My question to you women is how much does this affect sessions and would you like to know up front of my difficulties?  How often do your clients have similar issues and how do you handle it to make them comfortable?  I think if my date knew ahead of time about my "condition" it would help me be more relaxed.  Right now I always feel anxiety on dates.

I can still get off every time (bj or hj) and even twice most times but can't keep it hard enough to handle a condom and intercourse.  Even with the help of the little blue pill (100 mg).  I read review after review from these guys "going at it in every position for 45 minutes" and it just makes me want to not see anyone anymore.  And I hate that.  I love the touch and scent of a woman and I really miss it.  You ladies on this board are so nice I wanted to post it here.  I'd get ripped to shreds on the general board.  Thanks.

END OF MESSAGE

should ask your dr. if there are other meds you can take which wont have those side effects. Who gave you the Viagara? You shouldnt have gotten it until all the other meds were checked but drs. pass it out like candy. Its not always the answer.

Also it could be mental. If you think you wont be able to perform you wont.

Female condoms are the closest thing to bbfs as it gets. Oh and don't beleive everything you read "every position for 45 minutes" yeah right!

we have seen it all and by this point nothing is THAT big of a deal. I know for me it isn't. The point is  to have fun, not stress out. I have met several wonderful gentlemen over the past year who have had similar issues. I was never offended and was grateful for the advanced warning. The point of p4p is to have fun and relax with someone in the privacy of the boudoir .  

Everyone is different and I do believe if you do your homework and look for a true GFE, she will make sure a good time s had by both of you..

So, relax and have some fun!

 
ps: sorry if I was TOO blunt...

-- Modified on 8/17/2013 8:27:53 PM

Sex, or intercourse is not needed to have a blast.  Try exploring kinky fun, or seeing a FBSM provider who will finish with a happy ending.  Do you eat good pussy?  lol Smile 4 me!

Life goes on...

first of all, i'm glad you took the brave step of making this post...but please remember, MANY reviews are "embellished", and i personally know very few gents who go at ANYTHING for 45 minutes or more.  seriously, you are not alone, not even close!

from what you've said, i think it best if you let your provider know in advance a li'l bit about your situation - once you've been screened and she's comfortable with you, of course.  the most important reason for this is because, as you've said, it eases YOUR nervousness.  her response will also allow you to gauge her compassion, understanding, patience and experience with similar issues...and this will help you decide if she's the right provider for you.  if she's aware of your challenges ahead of time, she can be prepared to help as effectively as possible.  for example, one poster above mentioned the female condom.  this is an excellent idea, but not all providers are familiar (or comfortable) with the FC, and even fewer have them on hand.  so by all means, discuss a few ideas with your provider ahead of time.

select a well-reviewed provider who sees mature gents; i recommend a more mature provider for the best experience level.  remember, she is a professional, so she's likely heard - and dealt with - anything you might possibly tell her.  there's absolutely no reason for embarrassment.  further, she wants you to enjoy the time spent with her, and if you choose wisely, she'll do all she can to ensure just that.

good luck, happy hobbying, and HAVE FUN!

Thanks all for the responses.  I figured I wasn't alone in this area.  To answer a couple of questions...my regular doctor gave me the Viagra.  He's well aware of all my other meds but never said anything about which one might be causing my issues and trying something different.

And not to brag but yes, I do think I "eat good pussy"!  Lol...I've heard a couple of times "How did you do that?!!?" from civvie world girls.

There is a provider where I live who is known to use female condoms and she's been on my radar for a long time.  Wonderful reviews and a very sensual lady from what I read.

Thanks again gang.

I can still get it up...  but everything feels different.  Still good...  but no way I'm going to pop more than once.  Weight issues too from lack of mobility.  My ATF is because she has the right attitude.  Early on, we discussed my situation.  We do everything I'm capable of.  At a certain point, I just want to finish...  she will finish me anyway that works.  Her exact words were "It won't be a problem."  BJ, HJ, I don't care.  
I've learned to take my time & savor the experience.  She's paid for the full time & I will not accept a gal that rushes.  You do need to look for the right providers (I have a few that I repeat with).  I'd suggest a 30ish lady who has learned some patience & has the right attitude..

Enjoy the bjs and HJ. At 81 that's what I do and my ATFs seem to like the things I do for the

It's difficult if you compare yourself to those guys who brag "locker-room" style. Believe me, there are many men in your situation for a number of reasons. Be it because of extra weight, or meds or injury or just plain aging, it is very common.

But you are still a man, and still crave the touch of a woman. I have immensely enjoyed time spent in sensual exploration and arousal, playful touch as well as tender connection through conversation. All of this in varying combinations often leads to the desired conclusion.  Doesn't that sound nice? Find the right lady(ies) and you will leave feeling so good about yourself and your experience. And isn't that the point?

But don't try to rush it all into an hour. Hour appointments are for the younger, more superficial guys. I know, I know, it can be dictated by financial concerns, but in your case do save up and go for several hours at least. You will really benefit.

Stop over thinking it and enjoy your time..  

Trust me when I tell you... We/I  will find a way for both of us to have a good time..

P.S. Don't believe every thing you read in those reviews...

I just recently had performance problems with a provider that rocked my world and was really depressed about it.  She had a great time and we made plans for my next trip to her area, but it got into my head big time.  Seeing what you people wrote helped quite a bit.

A mature provider will have the patience and understanding that you need.  Don't worry about what the other hobbyists are bragging about...that's them and who knows just how much of that is true.  You just need to be with someone that can make you feel comfortable and make you forget about them other guys.  Definitely mention your situation prior to starting the session.  Female condoms may work but you won't know till you try.  Sometimes its just getting to know the provider.  Maybe you have "first-date" anxiety.  I've always heard, and agree, that the more you play with the same person the better it gets.  

A session without any intercourse can be just as satisfying, and maybe even more erotic.  There are so many other ways to have fun.  

Just don't be embarrassed.  Be yourself, relax and enjoy!!

Don't be embarrassed. I know how you feel but it happens. For several years I haven't been unable to get an erection but it hasn't stopped me from seeing my ATF's. They understand and we still have fun. This hobby isn't a competition. It's about enjoying some time with beautiful women who are there to give you pleasure.

Thanks to everyone for posting here....this has helped and encouraged me greatly.  I have intermittent performance issues meaning sometimes everything works the way it's supposed to but other times as soon as the condom is on...nap time.  I have some really awesome ATF's that I see regularly and they are very understanding once we have discussed the "problem".  

As for the "45 mins jock/studs"  anybody remember high school locker room talk?  Mostly the same....it's not about competition or size or duration or anything like that.  It's a personal matter between your provider and you and as long as it's mutual and beneficial who can say anything.

I am going to see my doctor though because I just want to try the blue pill with one of my favorite providers....just once!  lol

Later,

Dude,

I feel you pain and am in a very similar situation.  One element of the hobby which is important to me is pleasing, and I feel bad when I cannot have intercourse.  (Or at least the illusion of pleasing, although I have not met a provider yet who has even hinted they did not want me to be inside them).  

Anyway, I do not feel complete if the lady and I do not, dare I say, fuck?

So I invested in an external penis pump.  They are not cheap, but they do work.  Most times I cannot cum as the feeling of the cock ring is uncomfortable and is a distraction.  If I pump too quickly, I cannot feel anything.  The best combination is using the pump with a female condom.  

I typically will have intercourse, then finish when the provider gives be a BBBJ and/or combination H.J.

I still get frustrated and do miss the feeling of exploding inside a lady.  But I am trying to look at it this way, for 24 years I was married to a women who only wanted intercourse, no fore play and absolutely NO ORAL.  So now it is time to catch up on what I have missed!

Best of luck

I remember a limerick that contained the line "What once was my sex appeal is now my water spout."  Biologically-speaking, guys can perform until they are on their death bed.  But, as one ages, one's performance depends a lot more upon sleep, alcohol and drug consumption, and our overall health.  But, our tongues remain fully functional and our expertise about how to please a woman increases every day.  Who doesn't like the moans, shuddering, sweat, and clamping of legs around your head?

There have been numerous times where I have had to ask the lady to finish me manually.  I always reassure her that it's me and not my "present company."  It makes those times when you can perform like a 25-year old even more special.