Two threads below prompt this question. Victoria's question about seeing a much younger guy prompted some responses about whether it would be good or bad for him to learn about relating to women from someone in the hobby. In another thread, Greeneyedude questioned whether providers lie with age guesses and other things.
My question concerns trying to use my hobby times to become a better lover. I figure I am with the best potential teachers in the world, and in the most fun classroom imaginable, so I often ask my date to let me know if there is something that I can do better to give them a good time. I usually only get compliments rather than suggestions. Maybe I really am doing something right some of the time, but I'm sure there are things I can do better, maybe a lot better. I try to pay attention to subtle signals, but isn't the whole point of the fantasy that you ladies are supposed to make us think we're awesome lovers? So how much can I believe the signals?
I LOVE it when my date gives me direction about what works best for her and then clearly ramps up her response when I deliver as requested. So ladies, how comfortable are you with coaching? Are you afraid that most male egos are too fragile for you to be honest about what is working and what isn't even when asked?
Maybe your better than you think. I say this seriously, because it appears that in your personality, you are devoted to giving your partner an enjoyable experience, so you have been 'learning' all your life.
I do know that it appears what pleases a lady is never exactly the same. Therefore what you learn is to read the signs with out directions. But I agree with you, getting directions is a turn on. And a little ummmmm cheerleading is great toooo. 
the only direction I get is during DATY
I think most guys get way more enjoyment if they know they are enhancing the ladies experience by knowing and tapping into their own experience and knowledge. It always is helpful though if the lady tells you or shows you by levels of enjoyment what she really likes.
I like a man to let me know what makes him feel the best so likewise I think men would feel the same. I call it a little nasty conversation between friends but actually it's directions so you don't get lost in no mans land. It makes sense that each person likes things a little different and finding out what pleases you makes the time hotter. I know when i'm turned on things are definitely hotter and more sensual. I even like show and tell when it comes to a gentleman using his tongue. Now there's a conversation I can get lost in.
Kisses Haley
Maybe there is something wrong with me.... I think I am just greatful for what ever I get. I know..... is P2P but I seem to go with the ladies lead. Not wanting to offend, not wanting to push anything, not always sure what I should do or say. I do find some ladies can read me like an open book. Others not so well. And your right, its probably my fault. But I treat her no different than I would treat a civy girl friend. If she is more vocal then so am I. If she is quiet I am the same. Crazy huh?
I have often thought that there is a niche market for an experienced provider to "coach" us guys in the art of love making. After hobbying for 58 years, I considered myself a good woman pleaser. But I have received 3 or 4 major tips this last year that showed that I still have room for improvement.
I too get more satisfaction from pleasing my partner than I do from being pleased. It does not matter how hot my partner is, I want to see her getting the same satisfaction I am getting.
The communication during the sexual encounter is very important. I am always amazed how reluctant most women (both civies and providers) are to give guidance. They do not realize that they have different likes, dislikes and OMGs from other women. Too often I have to cycle thru my whole bag of tricks and try to detect which ones the lady reacts to. And then I find something that elicits a positive response and go for it. But I never get any encouragement or directions; she just continues to give the same positive response. Finally I decide it is time to move on to something else.
This is one of the areas that has been most frustrating about losing my voice to ALS. I have to give my lady friends credit for even agreeing to see me. I explain my problem when I first contact them. I also discuss my various ways of communication: small white board, text-to-voice synthesizer. and hand signs in the bedroom. I send long e-mails prior to our first appointment so that the lady is familiar with my background. I try to answer all of the FAQs before they are asked. I even tried typing up a script for our bedroom fun. That was too much and ruined the spontaneity of our date; I never tried it again.
My most memorable and fulfilling dates have been those in which my partner has guided me to the things she likes. With some this has been by gentle coaching, with others by means of cues and hints. (I think that I have leaned to distinguish between the genuine sharing and guidance to better love making and the fake moans which don't turn me on at all.) In only two years, I know that I am a better, more sensitive lover, both as a recipient and a giver. The pleasure of pleasing another has been as wonderful as a slowly building crescendo within me leading to an exodive finish. The combination in a single event is unsurpassed!
You hit a sore spot with the comment about fake moans. That is the biggest turn off. The same thing with porn and the over top moaning. Just shut up and feel it, works best for me.