A while back Sugar-julia mentioned in the post about ATFs that her ATF clients appreciate "the conversation, the small and large considerations that I made to make their experience memorable, and they always have a desire to connect with me on a non-physical level."

Recently I read some reviews of a lady which mentioned she wanted to sit down and talk before doing anything else.  This was presented as a negative aspect.  For me a memorable experience, as Sugar-julia points out, involves some connection on a non-physical level.  

I admit I go back to the days when you met escorts (call girls in those days) at a public venue then either walked or took a cab to her apartment.  Naturally you talked on the way.  By the time you arrived you were both comfortable and when the door closed things just proceeded as nature intends.  When the little ads in the newspapers became the way to meet, the process involved arriving at her place then sitting down on her sofa to chat and get to know each other.  It was just what we all did.

So when I started making dates through all the venues that the internet allowed it was just normal to expect the get to know you chat.  Occasionally I meet ladies who just want to head to bed which is apparently what the reviewers I mentioned expect.  I don't get that with dating escorts.  To me spending time with an escort is the joy of being with a human female which involves some level of communication and connection.  Sure it happens that sometimes you click immediately and its romp around the house time.  However, If I haven't connected in some way then what happens BCD is just transactional not intimate.  I really feel the get to know you chat is essential.

I am wondering if I am alone in this opinion.  Maybe I am just old fashioned.  

BTW I had a great time with the lady who likes to talk first.  We picked up on each others rhythms and read each others cues because we had a sense of the other person.  She is a sweetheart.

My ATF and I chat all the time. Even when not on dates. the first time I met, we chatted a bit then got down to business....best sexual experience in a long time. We talked quite a bit in between action just getting to know each other. Last time we were together, we had been speaking before hand quite a bit then then got right down to it when I got there. After we spent an hour and a half just chatting and drinking wine.

I think It is great to meet on more than just a physical level. I know most will call BS on me for this, but I believe she truly cares for me on some level. I know this because she helped steer me clear of some trouble that she would have let another guy get into.

The down side to getting to know a provider on a deeper level is that feelings and jealousy can arise.

While I am not yet in the demographic that this board represents, I find myself enjoying the perspectives, and civility, that are present.  So, I hope you do not mind that I intrude...  Like Tampa Jim, I too enjoy the get to know you chat.  I find it very easy to be open and honest with a provider in this context.  In my civilian dating life, there are so many consequences that seem to attach to what is said between myself and my date.  In the provider-client relationship, there is a clear understanding about what is taking place and what, for the most part, are the expectations on both sides.  I find it refreshing, relaxing, and physically stimulating to converse openly and honestly with a mature, intelligent provider.  They tend to be great conversationalists and wonderful listeners...two qualities that heighten the sexual experience for me.  The get to know you chat is, quite simply, foreplay for me.  This, combined with the "recovery time chat," makes for a genuinely enjoyable date.

Of course. Its a date to us of the older generation. I never went on a date in or out of the hobby that conversation didn't take place. On a few occasions we were talking in the shower but talking always came first and sometimes more later. Also it makes her as comfortable as well. I notice that QV and HHR are there for some ladies. IF the act was all I was after that would be fine. MY ego needs more stroking than my d--k. I really expect both parts of the date.

That's why Over 60 is the best forum on this board.

We always chat a bit before getting down to business.
The few times that the provider wanted to just jump in,
did not work well for me. I need to get to know a bit about them.
5 minutes is all it takes, but it has to happen, at least for me.
Old Guys Rule!!

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So true.  I would never post the observations I made on another board as it is GUARANTEED that someone would chime in with some inane attempt at humor (at best) or a direct attack, at worst.  Thanks for letting me contribute

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...  seem to genuinely enjoy meeting people and relating to them as people, not just as an income stream.  

I don't think it's a coincidence that there's been some type of get-to-know-you chat with each of my fav providers, including my ATF.  There's different ways to do that. Often it's a sit-down chat at the beginning of the first date. But sometimes I've conversed with the provider before the first date, by phone or in person or through several emails or PMs.  And sometimes we talk while one of us gives the other a massage.  

That being said, there's been a few first dates with providers where they attacked me when I walked in the door.  That was fun too.  We talked later.  

because the sex is always so much more intimate afterward. Myabe that's the reason I've been playing in the Sugar Bowl more often these days. I truly love just meeting for coffee and conversation. Then, if there's chemistry and we agree on a second date, the sex is so sweet!

"multiple sessions of gab" during a meeting.  A little up front to connect and a little at the end to frame the time and sense whether there should be another meeting

-- Modified on 6/21/2016 8:01:24 AM

I just jump right into warming up with some sensual play and during the snuggle time the conversation seems to be more intimate. Between kisses and licks comes laughter and chatter. Having the time to luxuriate in the nuances of flirty play and conversation is not always possible if you have only an hour to spend. Finding even a few moments to share something special with every person you see can slowly build to become a very close long standing friendship.

For those with the luxury of spending more than an hour of intimacy together it does give more opportunity to indulge in a closer bonding experience ... Well maybe bonding isn't the best word

For years men came and went sharing a little more each time of themselves just as me. Seemed no one cared about time but there was always enough. Now it seems variety is readily available and more desirable.  

You are right Jim ... I am old fashioned myself but many just don't have or want to take the time for the appetizer anymore

Kisses Haley

works...if the lady makes it work. What I mean is there are gals that have jumped my bones just inside the door and sent me back out an hour later wobbly knee'd with a shit eatin' grin on my face. And there are those that have done the get to know you chat and charmed me to the point that it felt almost believable that a drop-dead gorgeous woman half my age was turned on and pulling my clothes off! However they do it, being able to manage that initial greeting is one of the skills that  impresses me tremendously with so many of the ladies I've met. Damned impressive!

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