in the Chicago area "Confucius say" jokes were a big thing. Were they popular anyplace else in the US?
The first one below I recall from 55 years ago; the rest I found online.
Stewardess who fly upside down
have crackup
Marriage like bank account,
put it in
but when take it out, lose interest
Viagra like Disneyland
wait one hour
get two minute ride
If girlfriend starts smoking
you moving too fast
Passionate kiss like spider’s web,
soon lead to undoing of fly
Good fisherman knows
how to wiggle his worm
If lawyer join nudist colony
he have no suit
Chicken result from sitting hen
baby result from standing cock
Man who walk sideways through airport turnstile
going to Bangkok
Smart man like fish
keep mouth shut
stay out of trouble
A fox is a wolf
who brings flowers
Squirrel who run up woman’s leg
not find nuts
Many arguments have two sides
but no end
Virginity like balloon
one prick, all gone
Man who argue with wife during day
get no piece at night
Baseball make no sense
how can man with four balls walk?
-- Modified on 3/3/2015 7:50:23 PM
Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key!
Woman who has blonde hair, has brown hair by cracky.
This one was the other "Confucius say" joke I remembered but since I could not remember who the actor was and because 50's TV westerns are not playing in prime time, I did not include it.
Anyone remember which Western actor frequently ended his sentences with "by cracky"? My only guess is Andy Devine who played "Jingles" on "The Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok" (1951-58), but my memory tells me he is the one who often talked about going back to East Sedalia, Missouri, and that it was another actor with a gravely voice who said "by cracky".
Gabby Hayes?
Until screwed on desk.
Vagina like small hotel. Man go inside,
Leave bag outside.