but depending on their emotional stability know the limits. Getting to involved with each e-mail can get some to get carried away with emotions to hot to handle. Just because older should be wiser doesn't mean someone won't get hurt. "L/U" is used without being intimate in nature while others truly feel a more deep attachment. You can't know exactly whats going through her mind at this time or what will progress with each contact. The holidays bring out much soul searching and thoughts of what if.

Hope you find that happy medium and she does to or and old friend will be hurt and lost forever

Kisses Haley

This whole thing is obviously under your skin, but you seem reticent to spit out what is bugging you.

Lots of people hear from former lovers from time to time.  They share a few laughs and memories and then go back to doing what they were doing before.  (Just remember to keep your pants on.)

What is so different about this case?

And as far as how you close an email, on the 1-10 scale of significance, it rates about 2.5, so don't let that get to you.

I posted about this on a recent thread on the Erotic Highway board on "internet husbands", so I'll be brief.

I had a torrid affair 30 years ago, but the timing was wrong.  I was getting divorced and she married another guy out of desperation (financial) as much as anything.

She kept in touch with me over the years and I knew there wasn't a lot of emotional satisfaction in the marriage.  For a long time I hoped she'd get divorced and we'd finally get it right and be together.

Well, the years went by and she started emailing me on a regular basis.  Her kids are in college and I know she's feeling a little lost.  I'm happy to be a friend and a sounding board, but I no longer want her to end her marriage.  I've come to realize what we had can NEVER be recaptured and we'd both realize that fairly quickly if we pursued it.  I also don't want to break up her marriage.  I don't think she wants that either, she just needs someone she can share things with and reach out to when no one else is there for her (her husband is emotionally reserved, I've met him).

So after a couple years of almost daily emails, we've settled into a very enjoyable friendship and aren't signing off with love (we always did in the past) or anything else that would confuse the issue.

I'll always cherish the wonderful love and sex we shared, but I'm satisfied now to have her in my life as a friend- a friend that knows me better than almost anyone.  I say this because I realize that my actions in the past came at a very high price (divorce), and now she's in the situation I was.  The difference between me at age 30 and me now is, now that means something to me.  

as long as it is in the abstract. it gets more difficult up close and personal.

i have a situation that involves occasional face to face dining. i  have the sense, from verbal cues, that i am expected to _do_ something. i've been quizzed on the details about why it didn't work out on previous occasions. i'm at liberty, she's _not_ but questions why i don't "make things easy" for her.

yeah, i still love her, but nothing is going to happen. i am not inclined to the drama that would ensue.

It's very easy for emotions to get involved when you re-connect with an old flame. You remember everything good about those times, & tend to block out anything negative. If you two were once close, her saying "I love you" is probably more-so her reminiscing on old times & what used to be. People change over the years, sometimes drastically, but those old feelings of "lust" can easily be mistaken for something else, especially with the thought of what could be.

Indeed, there is a bit of the path not taken...   35 years ago.   A part of me will always love her...  but it is a very small part.  There is a lot of water over the dam since then.  There are no "do overs" in life...  
I do not want to mislead her into thinking there is a chance at romance again.  That would be just mean...  and to devalue what ever love we did have back then.  
You tell me that is is possible...  after an interlude...  to be platonic friends with former lovers.  I guess that is what it must be or walk away.   I will proceed with this goal in mind.

(And I'm not going to stop being a monger just yet.)
H

than she.  Asked "what I want her to say".   I've not responded to that yet but I think she is really asking where this is going.   She aknowledges my unavailable status & "does not want to harm that."  She has no idea I hobby.  
The Love we shared was Special & will always be a part of me.  It is nice to remember her fondly & smile at the thought.  It is rare to be friends with ex-lovers...  at least for me.   It would be nice to "just be friends".  
H