The wife gets a bit stingy with the sex, so the guy goes off and finds it elsewhere.  The wife notices that he doesn't demand it so offers even less and he goes and gets satisifed elsewhere more often as a result.

This is more or less how it went with me and now I'm happily divorced.

Let's just say, you hobby because (like me) the wife does not like touching (which I need for an intimate connection besides sex) and she has a very low sex drive.   I do not think I was disconnecting (or asking for sex any less) but over the 5 years of my hobbying, she has taken advantage to wind down both.  Maybe because I had some sexual satisfaction she could sense I wasn't as needy.  
That said I am getting older & my disability progressing...  I can't run & jump but sexually I've not lost any ground.  

Maybe some of you were at this point before you started hobbying?

Anyrate I have noticed these changes & am fighting back.  We sleep as singles on opposite sides of a King bed & with the memory foam (does help my back but crappy for sex) it's difficult to move on.   I have been trying to reach out, roll over, etc so we just touch during the night.  Sometimes it doesn't work other times it does.   As long as I am going to stay here, I feel I need to work at intimacy.  
I see others who have totally lost intimacy...  years ago...  and it's really sad.  They're miserable.  

How is it with you?

A hobby site may be a strange place to post this...  but my idea was to supplement not replace one with another.  
H

what intamacy at home?

zero is zero.

but actually staretd hobbying in the hope that it would help me return intimacy to my home. Still nowhere near the joy and satisfaction of some of my hobby expereinces but I am pleased to say that it is slowly working.

than to deal with trying to get what you want at home. I wonder if after seeing a lady who is available with only you dropping an envelope for awhile makes it harder to push for home intimacy. It is tough in the best relationship to keep things hot and interesting so the variety you get on the outside makes what you might get at home very lackluster but that is all your wife or so may know.  Don't forget, the average women isn't over sexed or available at the drop of an envelope. But the truth is people do grow apart and it's hard work to get it back. Some may not want it back even when they complain.

I'm not taking the women's side but trying to give you a birds eye view of what they might be feeling. I can tell you exactly what you want to hear and you'll just love me or I can be honest as a women so that I offer you some insight. Every woman is different so what I might add is much different than what another one might have to say. I am not here just to post a picture or a link to my website but to bring some tangible interest. Do you want me fake or real ?  This is a test drive for me .


Picture this : Gentleman in late 80's has a stroke and is cared for at a nursing home while his wife lives with their daughter. Every day she arrives at 7AM to the nursing home to help feed her husband. She always is dressed nice and has lipstick on. Oh god, when she looks at him and smiles you know their still in love. They hold hands and yes, kiss in public. Affection seems so easy for them. Every few days they go to his room and his wife puts a "do not disturb sign" on the door. Wouldn't it be nice to know how they kept their relationship alive

Kisses Haley

I'd like to respond. Honestly, it's going to take some thought. Won't be able to do it tonight. It was important however for me to let you know it is thought provoking.

My hat is off the the guy whose wife would hang the Do Not Disturb sign...   he is a very lucky guy.   Honestly, if I had regular sex at home, I'd be gone from here.  
It is tough to be constantly rejected, stalled, delayed, avoided.  Time in her life for everything but intimacy and/or sex.  Even when she gives up sex, she holds back the intimacy.  
I know I'm not perfect.  I try to help around the house as much as my physical condition allows...  often that is not as much as I would like.  She does not like scraping me up off the floor, or the china broken because my hands don't work.    

I sometimes plant myself at the door to collect the "little peck" instead of nothing at all.  I mentioned attempts to just make physical contact instead of touching.  It may be limited intimacy but greater than zero.  
H

we can do private via e-mail ... Kisses Haley