Thought it would be fun to share some scary sexual experiences that we've had over the years.  Then maybe switch and share the funniest.  So, here's my story......A number of years ago I made arrangements to visit a provider and after experiencing our time together, went out to use the rest room.  As I walked out the bedroom door in my birthday suit, the front door to her house opened and I caught a glimpse of a young man walking in as I dove into the bathroom.  My first thought was it was her lover returning to the house to take revenge on poor naked men in the house.  Instead, I heard footsteps as he went upstairs.  Turns out he was her upstairs "boarder" nothing more, nothing less.  I breathed a sigh of relief and dressed and got out of there!  Last time I saw her!  There was another funny story to go with her, but I'll  save that to later.

at a minimum you would have known to pull your pants on.

I really haven't had too many experiences that I'd dub scary, but here they are:

One time I saw a gal at her apartment.  She wasn't the best as the whole place had an aura of heroin chic.  But as I was just getting ready to pull on my clothes after our session she looked at the clock and said something like:  Oh my God, I didn't realize it was so late.  You better get out of here before my boyfriend shows up because he'll kill us if he finds you here.  Needless to say I got dressed very quickly and made a point to lose her phone number.

The second time was almost amusing if not so heart stopping.  I was with a gal I had known for a long, long time; and we were enjoying an overnight at her home that was going just wonderfully.  She had recently bought a new pet, a very large dog known for its ferocity and ability to kill on the merest prompt.  By so far the doggie (Caesar by name), was quite well behaved.

The problem came in the morning.  My gal got up and headed downstairs to fix us breakfast.  A short time later I headed down the stairs in my birthday suit when Caesar met me at the foot of the stairs.  Caesar had a strange somewhat psychotic look to him, and I suddenly became frozen in fear that Caesar by dint of smelling his mistress' scent on my cock would decide that I was a competitor for his attentions with her, and further would decide to correct the problem by biting off my cock, a maneuver that would only require a split second on his part.  Fortunately  Caesar seemed to decide that the odor of his mistress on my cock indicated that I was a good guy, and he decided to give my cock a big lick with his tongue to reassure me of his friendly intentions.

Just as Caesar finished and trotted off my paramour turned around and said with a big smile:  All set for breakfast?  I did my best to conceal the effects of the adrenalin coursing through my bloodstream but I think I said "Yes".

Running around naked in a gal's house is not always the best idea.

I remember back awhile I was a boarder in an old house and one day I'm coming home from work, open the front door, and see this naked man shooting across the downstairs hall into the bathroom. "What the fuck", I think. Then realize there is that lovely gal who lives downstairs from me, so think nothing more of it and proceed upstairs to my room. Never saw that guy again.

Once in a compromising position with two providers and I heard a siren in the distance. I asked the girls whether the cops were coming for us. Well okay, not so funny, it fell kinda flat and it's feeling about the same way now...

A few weeks ago, my ATF was at my house for an evening of fun. We were starting to get serious when a light came on next door and light was shinning through my window. We heard some men talking. Since our light was off, I peeked out and saw a couple of cops talking and I saw a police car and a fire dept van. No one seemed to be excited (except my ATF and me). The man who lived there was in his mid-90's. I thought maybe he had died. No it turned out that he had fallen and called 911. He is also deaf as a post and he couldn't understand the 911 operator. So, he just canceled the call. The 911 operator notified the police and sent them. When they got there he didn't respond so they broke down the door and found him watching tv.

It took my ATF and me some time to get back in the mood, but when we did there was a happy ending to the evening

I was on tour one November in Chicago, seeing a lovely gentleman in my hotel room. We were engaged in a vigorous round of cowgirl when the fire alarm goes off and doesn't stop. We pause, wondering if it's the proverbial false alarm, and in a minute, there's a pounding on the door, and the hotel staff are shouting, "Get out, the hotel is on fire!"

At that, we jump up and throw on some clothes, and exit via the stairwell onto the street. There's a huge crowd of folks just like us, milling around in the cold, as the fire department enters the hotel with their hoses.
I'm freezing in my light coat, with garters and stockings poking out from underneath, which borders on the ridiculous, of course.

Turns out the fire was in the basement, they let us back in, and we had to do the walk of shame past all the other guests, some of whom duly noted my less-than-traditional outfit as we scurried back to my room.

Hot date? Not so much

She was working to pay off the vet bills for a dog that he chewed up.  I always joked "Don't let your dog eat me!"  SaId dog liked me pretty well, but he laid across my feet & got in the way of my cane.  I was afraid he'd trip me & I'd get seriously hurt...    

We used to scoot naked back & forth to the bathroom...  before & after session.  

The worst one was she had a feud going on with drunks / druggies who lived in the next house.  The neighbors set up boom boxes aimed at her house & proceeded to sit on their deck, drink act obnoxious.  She took the bait & proceeded to trip her car alarm repestedly.  Holy Bat Sh*t Bat Man!  Not at all discrete.  I think they thought I was a BF & they were trying to embarrass her.  Once again she showed her BSC diploma...  over the 6 years I saw her, I must have seen in half a dozen times...  The last time was directed at me & it was the last time.

From a review I wrote that was denied, it was too long past the date of encounter and I had intentionally waited because I had revealed some personal details to get verified...

"So we’re getting it on, she’s really petite, almost skinny and bony, but I like that. We get to the bed and she takes my pants off and is giving great head. I go down on her and it’s sweet, licking her asshole which she likes and I go for the cover when she says she wants BBFS! I’m really not into this so on goes the cover but all the drama has affected Mr. Happy, so I’m not ready for takeoff. I try to get her on top of me for 69 and she’s refusing, getting groggy with slurred speech, and then she just rolls over and says she’s tired and needs to sleep. I try to keep her going but she literally passes out in my bed. Now I’m really worried. I’m sure her boyfriend knows where she’s gone and will be wondering what’s up when she doesn’t come back. The hotel staff all know what’s up so LE could show up at any moment and I can’t get her awake. I lie awake for hours wondering what I’m going to do when one of these nightmares happens. Finally at 3:00 AM she gets up to pee and coming back to bed in the dark she walks right into the coffee table and goes down hard, hits her head on the floor. Staggers back to bed and really isn’t into getting it on, her head hurts so much. More anxiety for me. She finally gets up to leave, gets dressed and says she hopes I had a good time! I tell her I never really got off so she offers to blow me quickly, which I must say is nice except that she gagged on the cum and threw up on the floor. I cannot tell you how relieved I was to get her out of my room at 4:00 AM, didn’t even worry about what it would look like in the lobby when she would try to get a cab. Be very careful with this one, guys. "

that indeed was a scary situation!!