Dear Naomi:
If you win the war you will get my draws.  You should work in Afganistan and have that picture for your ad for all the active duty soldiers that are on duty. That would be you way of supporting the soldiers when they are away from home. Just like the woman who was on China beach several years ago.

Take two:

"Hey, these things didn't used to come with grab handles."

Russian? What Russian?! "Hey guys, I don't see any Russian up here!" (Why did my whole platoon just start laughing???)

Sung to the tune of Streisand's "The Way We Were" --
Mammaries,
Of extraordinary size....

From "The Sound of Music"--
The hills are alive,
They're a pair of two tits....

"Hey big lady! I want you to know that THIS soldier is equipped with "Cum Foo Grip"! "

I wonder if we'll ever see Major Richard again. Poor Dick was standing at attention when he suddenly fell into that crevice below; no one has seen him since.

"They say "No man left behind", but I did, and I made it all the way up here! That was some hazardous doody back there."

He discovered that he was quite distracted as he tried to defuse the dairybombs.