There's been a lot of discussion on the Reviewers Only board lately about Sugar Babies and the SA website so maybe I should have posted this there.  But I feel more comfortable and safe here on the Over 60s Board, so here it is.  I recently had a very disturbing experience with a 44 yo woman who found my profile on the SA website and sent me a hello message. She initiated contact and I responded politely but wondering why she had messaged me since we live 400 miles apart.  She responded saying she visits my city about twice a month.  Well, ok, that's different.  We exchanged a number of messages.  She said she'd be in town on a certain date, but I had to tell her I'd be out of town then.  She asked when I'd be back and I told her.  She suggested a date when I'd be back and I said yes.  We agreed to meet for coffee and conversation to find out if we had chemistry.  Although our messages got a bit flirtatious, no commitments of any kind were made, and money was never discussed.  
   
 The day before we were supposed to meet I had some other things crop up in my life and I had to cancel.  I wrote her a very apologetic message and a text to that effect.  I gave her more than 24 hours notice, and the whole thing had been so casual I thought there'd be no problem.  
   
 When she got my messages she went ballistic!  She claimed she had been driving all day to get there, was only 30 miles away, had spent all her money to get there and had no gas money or any way to get home.  She claimed I had promised to "take care of her" and what was I going to do to make it right.  I was shocked and very disturbed.  I went back and re-read our message exchange just to be sure I had not forgotten anything.  But no kidding, we had just agreed to meet for coffee.  She never said she was coming just for our meeting and no other purpose.  
   
 The next morning when I turned on my phone there were dozens of messages from her!  She said she tried to sleep in her car, she got assaulted and injured, got hassled by the cops, had to shell out for a fleabag motel, had no way to get home and I had to send her $500 to make it right.  
   
 Even though I figured she was scamming me or on drugs or simply BSC, I found the entire thing very disturbing.  She kept sending crazier and crazier texts.  When I reminded her we had only agreed to meet for coffee, nothing more, she called me a liar and said why would I drive 400 miles for that?  I replied, that's exactly what I've been asking myself.  Why would any reasonable person drive 400 miles, spend their last dime doing so, just to meet a stranger for coffee?  Made no sense.  Then she started to threaten me with exposure, outing me in public on the internet, etc.  I told her I don't respond to threats and will not read any more messages from you.  Goodbye.  
   
 So that's the end of it.  But are there any lessons to be learned here?  I guess first and foremost is that it's much safer to only deal with TER women since we can screen each other and weed out the nut cases.  The problem with sites like SA is that there's no way to screen each other.  But if I am still drawn to the SD/SB concept, maybe I'll be much more explicit in what is being offered/promised even before that first simple meeting over coffee.  The entire experience left me a bit shaken.  I suppose it could have been much worse and yes, I am too easily upset by this kind of stupidity.  But it hurts to think I may have created an enemy or contributed to someone else's suffering, even if inadvertently.