I sometimes wonder how and when I should ask a person 'what they like' what they want' ,  'would they like to try anal vibrator or digit stimulation?'  would they like just a BJ or use a FC ....A lounging body rub and lots of kissing....bla bla bla.....etc etc etc.

I generally do just ask if I get the 'silent signals' but sometimes I feel like i may have missed a person's secret disire.

Any advice from the peanut gallery? Please?

I've only had one lady ask me that. She was a beautiful Russian gal with a somewhat thick accent.
We weren't together 5 minutes before she asked....."What you like?" And I'm afraid I could have handled it differently because I was swept up in the early let's touch and get to know each other phase to the extent that the only thing I could answer was ...."uh, er, anything!" Which for her wasn't much help.
Many more possible responses came after the session was over. If someone were ask me again what I like I think I might be better prepared.  

To your question Adelle....on the "When" to ask....I think a good time to ask is when the clothes are off, the two of you are reclined, and you're at least deep enough into the festivities that a little convo would be appropriate. And the "How" to ask....use your imagination. As you gently stroke him lightly beneath his nuts...."So what was the most intense orgasm you've ever had. I want to hear all the details."  then as you ever so subtly move your touch to his perineum...."Have you ever tried.......? Would you like to? How about.....?" You get the picture. We really are putty in your hands when things are going well. And this is just one love starved man's opinion. There are other opinions, I'm sure. Why don't you come back with a report when you've broken some barriers and taken a lucky guy to new heights of pleasure.

would you like to try toys?  something new?  I'd think things should be heating up before asking.

If he's done his homework and read your reviews, then he should come there knowing what to expect

until I feel some intimacy.  So wait until you are already involved with some sort of sexual activity.  If I'm asked before the clothes even come off, I'm shy about giving specifics.  But I do want you to know what I like and what I want.  So if I am asked what I want and it's too early in the session for me to feel comfortable answering I might just say, let me answer that later.

But if your guy date is a "One and done" then this might not apply......
What I like to do is to let the first "round" go as a intimate, GFE moment. In your case let the gent dictate the flow. Be as passionate and sensual as you can, allow yourself to be you.....Then afterwards,while you're cuddling and talking, after all the jitters are gone and everyone is relaxed, then you ask him in a sexy way how he feels about "toys". I'm sure his curiosity will click in. It's the way I handle my introduction of my "Toys" to my date....does that make sense? So but yourself in my spot and try it....easy pesy...Of course time allowed.

I want a provider to ask me my likes, dislikes, wants, needs and expectations before a session.  I am always hesitant to start that conversation since most ladies dislike anything explicit in initial emails.  After screening, and confirming the date, I would love for a lady to ask how to make my experience the best possible one she can offer.

I would feel more comfortable if at the beginning of the date you said, "let me tell you some of the things I enjoy doing to make us both happy.  I love to feel his cock in my mouth and from time to time massage his prostate.  Is that something you'd like?  I also enjoy the feeling of his cock sliding into me and if you're condom phobic, we could use a FC  Have you ever tried it?  I'm sure you'd love the feeling it gives of fucking me bareback but safely.  My ass is sort of off limits to that big cock of yours, but digital stimulation really turns me on and makes me cum hard while you eat my pussy.  So if you like that, by all means I would love it too"  That way you both know what to expect and the session could flow without any risks of rejection to an activity on either part.

First of all, you can trust that if we set up a date, I've read all of your recent reviews, and many from the past. I'm walking through your door because I know you'll fulfill certain fantasies. The second, and most important thing, is that my favorite aspect of sex is the surprise factor. Yet, since you're a sure thing, the surprise is seemingly gone. For me, in this venue, the surprise comes with the initial exploration. Yeah, we're going to have sex, but how we get there is the fun part. You'll know exactly what I like very very soon. So for me, having to answer that question loses some of the spontaneity. If our mutual pleasure warrants multiple visits, what drives sexual pleasure will come up naturally, especially through story telling.  

The other thing is, especially in this hobby of wide ranging sexual appetites, I don't know what I like. Many times things have happened naturally that I didn't know I liked. I'm very much a no pain lover, but when an atf slapped my ass hard while cumming, I loved it. Or the time an atf answered the door naked, and instead of a hug or a kiss, I dropped to my knees, and started kissing her pussy. Those types of surprises always blow me away. So if we see each other, let's just go for it. As an experienced gentleman, it's not the thousands of sexual encounters that one remembers. It's those little, detailed spontaneous moments that keep running through my mind.

I am going to re-read all of the answers over and over to get them into my beanie brain and 'become one' with such valued wisdom. Really, I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and time to give me insight. XOXO Adelle

I have also had a provider tell me, "When you kiss me like that, it makes me want to X, Y and Z, so where would you like to start?"  We rarely get past the first one or two, but if I object to anything, I speak up and let her know if there's anything she said that I'm not up for.

For toy play and the really shy man, maybe asking if he would like to peek inside a toy bag that you have in the room, or place some toys somewhere and cover them with a towel, and then ask if he'd like to check them out. He might see something new, or find just want he wants without being too nervous to ask. And if it's not his thing, he can decline even bothering to look

I love to be asked. Takes all the guess work out tho I've read her reviews an assumed there'd be DFK, BBBJ an such. I can either way. She can ask what I like an I can tell her. Or she can make suggestions. Either way I'm comfortable talking about it.