Erotic Humor

Proof That the World is Nuts
dearhunter 4376 reads
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Proof That The World Is Nuts  


In   Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.  

(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In   Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
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The penalty for masturbation in   Indonesia  is decapitation.

(Much worse than 'going blind!')
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In   Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in   Liverpool ,   England  - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
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In   Cali ,   Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In   Santa Cruz ,   Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In   Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?

Well, not as great as   Guam !)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of?)
(Did our government pay for this research??)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Thank you all for reading this, if you need to reach me in the future, I will be in Guam .

In   Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Could be a problem with vampire patients]
and
[Good job for dyslexics]



There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[What is the job interview like for this position ... and how many times can I apply?]



Topless saleswomen are legal in   Liverpool ,   England  - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Time to go aquarium shopping in the land of the Beatles!  Is that a 5 gallon or 10?]



In   Cali ,   Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Is the mother a MILF??]


In   Santa Cruz ,   Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Note to self:  Don't move from Cali, Columbia to Santa Cruz, Bolivia.  Could get messy]


In   Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?

Well, not as great as   Guam !)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Doing what they can to limit procreation by drunken fools.  I'm sure this law has saved many people from a life-time hangover]

In most places in America you can spend any amount of money on gifts, dinner, vacations for a woman to get her to sleep with you, and IT IS PERFECTLY LEGAL

but if you pay her any amount of money directly for that privilege, IT IS ACTUALLY A CRIME!

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