Pick a girl with several solid reviews on TER, then just give her straight up information in the format she asks for.  I'm fairly new, so just the other day I wrote a provider an email giving her all the info I could--I only had one reference, but I do have a date check verification and a review on TER.  I made sure the email was respectful and polite.  It worked and we're meeting.  You pretty much have to do the screening their way, or at least as much their way as possible.  So far I have used independents, since I've read from the more experienced guys on here that LE often likes to go after big agencies.  If you're doing your homework and following all the rules in the FAQS above, I think you'll be ok.  But in the end, it is up to you.

Since you are a member of P411, you will find some ladies who will accept just your verification there, and some who will want other information, or references, in addition. Once you have a few referrals under your belt on P411, it will become easier to set up dates. You just need to get through those first few, so that the ladies feel comfortable with you.

After you have referrals on P411, and some ladies who you can call for references, it will be much easier, and you should never have to give out personal information again. That's what verification sites are all about. You only give your personal information to them. They do not share that information, only that they have verified you.

That is, no response other than to say "sorry but I don't think we're going to be compatible". If anyone (newbie or not) makes it difficult or confusing for me to verify him, I'm probably going to pass. You already have the fact that you're a newbie working against you, which puts most ladies on guard already. Even from non-newbies, anything out of the ordinary sets off alarm bells. If it's from someone without references, even moreso.

Anyway, after she's read it on the securest site  or talked to you on the securest phone line, what's stopping her from copying your info down and storing it in her own email or on her hard drive or a little black book? Once you give her your info, it's out of your hands. I understand and respect that you're concerned about discretion and your privacy. However, if you've done diligent research, the lady you're contacting is going to guard your info extremely well. Better than most businesses, I'd say.

Question 3: Many ladies are flexible about how you contact them (phone/email/PM/carrier pigeon) and what info they'll need to verify you. Me, I'm a little on the strict side. And if you don't want to be screened the way I want to screen you ... well, there are lots of ladies out there you might be more compatible with. My way or the highway, take it or leave it, etc. Also, I hate talking on the phone, so my phone number stays private until after I've screened someone. And if you want to talk to me, you'll email me. Good luck getting in contact in a reasonable amount of time another way.

I know this makes me sound like a hard-ass. I'm not (it's really soft). I'm just take my safety and security very, very seriously, and while I am concerned about that of my clients, my own takes precedence. And, no kidding, I *really* hate talking on the phone.

Question 5: There comes a point when, if you really want to participate in this, you need to take a risk -- you risk either your info with screening, or you risk your safety if you see someone who doesn't screen. If the thought of either is intolerable to you, you might want to reconsider this.

-- Modified on 12/29/2009 6:02:11 PM

If you want to see her cooperate as best as possible.  It is a very rare situation when a lady outs you to the public.