There are many providers who well, if you do not know them, how do you know if they are thorough and that you can count on them for the correct info ?
It would be a lot easier if every hobbyist had some sort of subscription with a trustworthy/discreet verification company.
As far as woman becoming upset as a friend/hobbyist decides to see someone else, that is just straight rediculous.
Life is about pleasure. Why would anyone not want their friend to engage in such other pleasure?
I will always carefully screen and I answer referenc checks immediately. It is a matter of respect and safety which is extremely important.