A few points, from my experience:

When contacting a lady, I always pay attention to their preferred method of contact. For example, if my profile here says that I prefer email, I don't appreciate some strange lady contacting me with texts or calls on a Sunday. Giving a reference is a professional courtesy, and not an obligation, and should certainly not be abused.

Secondly, introduce yourself to her. Do not simply say "Hey, can I get a reference?". Discretion in this profession is of the utmost importance and if she does not know who you are, why should she waste her time screening YOU to figure out if YOU are someone she is willing to share with, especially after the gentleman has not contacted her?

Lastly, realize that you are here to make money and not friends. Get that "sisterhood" falacy out of your head. Unfortunately, this is kind of a catty business and many ladies are immature and competitive. I commend you for being reference-friendly, and good luck.

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