A chart listing what you CAN get from various sexual actions. wow, that must be true, it says it's from a sanfrancisco clinic, so they don't really have to list numbers, statistics, science, or anything factual. If they say you can get chlamydia, it must be true. I wonder if that means you are LIKELY to get it, or just that you CAN get it? Ah, don't bother to ask any questions, they are doctors, they must know what they are talking about.
I'll tell you one thing that I'm pretty sure of though - if deadly disease spread readily through an oral route, the human race would have ceased to exist a long, long time ago.
A provider offered me BBFS. It was the first time I had seen her, we were in the middle of going hot and heavy. She said she hated condoms and 'I'm clean.' I turned her down.
I'm concerned about seeing her again. I like BBBJ and DATY but feel that the risk of me getting something is increased by engaging in these activities with someone who does BBFS. She is an active provider and I have no reason to believe she doesn't treat everyone to the bare back treatment.
Thanks for the help.
What help?
What's the question?
Are you asking for permission to fuck her without a condom?
If she offered you BBFS on the first date, then you are probably correct that she is probably
offering it to everyone and getting taken up on the offer at least by some.
If you believe this to be true and if you believe that it significantly increases the risk of you catching a disease, then the only options are:
1) Don't see her again
2) See her and cover ALL activities
3) See her, do what feels good, and spend several weeks in agonizing panic until the tests come back.
Did I miss anything?
.... what he was looking for (that maybe IF he should keep seeing her and/or how he should deal with her when he sees her).
Would like to know. Please PM me. Want to know who to avoid.
I would never rebook an appointment with a provider of this nature, under any circumstances.
I'm concerned about seeing her again. I like BBBJ and DATY but feel that the risk of me getting something is increased by engaging in these activities with someone who does BBFS. She is an active provider and I have no reason to believe she doesn't treat everyone to the bare back treatment.
Thanks for the help.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for safe sex - I am covered in all FS, but do engage in BBBJ and DATY, though my current fave prefers CBJ and I accede to her wishes (life is full of tradeoffs). And I even get the reflex, negative reaction to a provider who offers BBFS.
But that emotional, yes emotional, decision implies the following.
1. You believe that just because a provider does not offer you BBFS, she does not do it with anyone (like a BF, say). I guarantee that the opposite is true with the vast majority of providers.
2. You believe that BBBJ and DATY are inherently so dangerous that you only would do them with someone who you are very sure is clean. Which seems to suggest that you ask other providers whether they have a clean bill of health before going down on them. But how many of us do that?
Look, I understand why we worry about BBFS and most of us, me included, tend to avoid providers who we know offer BBFS. But it still makes no sense. Either BBBJ and DATY are generally safe even when done with multiple, high risk partners, or they are not. The fact that we know that one of those partners specifically offers other high risk activities does not actually change this in any way.
So, really this is mostly a matter of ignorance being bliss. We draw these artificial lines, tell ourselves we are safe so long as we stay on the right side of them, and feel great. But they are usually BS - DATY with a provider that you know does BBFS is not measurably more dangerous than doing it with any other provider (assuming you are not holding copies of her most recent test results), and BBBJ is not dangerous at all for the guy unless you have a cut or sore on your cock.
Just saying.
zig
The guy can easily catch HSV 1 and 2, syphilis, Gonorrhea, chlamydia, NGU and HPV from a BBBJ. In fact syphilis carries an ever higher transference from oral sex. The data in the link below is dated as we now know HPV spreads readily though receiving and giving any uncovered oral, but it shows receiving a BBBJ is not low risk.
A chart listing what you CAN get from various sexual actions. wow, that must be true, it says it's from a sanfrancisco clinic, so they don't really have to list numbers, statistics, science, or anything factual. If they say you can get chlamydia, it must be true. I wonder if that means you are LIKELY to get it, or just that you CAN get it? Ah, don't bother to ask any questions, they are doctors, they must know what they are talking about.
I'll tell you one thing that I'm pretty sure of though - if deadly disease spread readily through an oral route, the human race would have ceased to exist a long, long time ago.
This is the kind of near-hysterical fear-mongering that makes people do stupid things. Yes, all these things can happen, but you need to provide some sort of context. What is the real risk, and what are the consequences? Minimal for most of the things you mention.
Yes, I can get herpes from contact with an active sore. Best to look before you touch. But as the link says, 50-80% of us already have HSV, so it is not exactly a major worry, is it?
Yes, I can get syphilis or gonorrhea from the mouth of someone who is orally infected with those diseases. Oral incidence is pretty low and both are quite treatable, but the risk is real. I suppose it is possible that I will see a provider who has an oral STD and is either unaware or does not care enough to protect me, but then she also is probably not taking care of herself, and I hope I will be able to avoid her altogether or recognize the risks and leave when I meet her.
Sure I can get an NGU from all sorts of things, including oral contact with someone who has any number of infections. Again, very treatable and not very likely, but it is the most likely of all the things you have listed (aside from engaging with someone who has visible sores).
Yes, there can be oral transmission of chlamydia, but the situation is very similar to syphilis and gonorrhea, except the likelihood of transmission is much lower.
Male HPV? The research on this is still very new, and mixed. It may be a factor in some cancers, but it also may take 20 years or more to have any effect. Odds are very high that we all have been exposed to HPV already, so I am not going to sweat it now. And, as your link tells us, most forms seem to be harmless.
Of course, the risks from kissing someone are even higher, because now we get into all the respiratory and digestive tract diseases. Want a list of all the diseases that are contagious via oral contact? So I assume you are not kissing anyone.
And you need to keep in mind that just being in the same room with others is dangerous due to airborne transmission of pathogens, and touching their skin anywhere could give you contact dermatitis, among many other things.
Personally I have been considering wearing a mask over my mouth because you never know where the air you are breathing has been. Which is actually not a joke - the poisons and pathogens we pick up from the air are the number one health risk we face.
I stand by my position - BBBJ and DATY represent minimal risks for the guy. The link you provide just says these things can be transmitted by the contact, not the significance of the risk.
zig
This I will not dispute. Again you are right that 80% of adults have HSV-1, but only about 20% have HSV-2 and you can have both. Chlamydia, and gonorrhea infections of the throat are symptom-less and require a throat swab that most people do not get. Most people with such an infection do not know it. Standard STD tests do not test for an infection of the throat.
Most everything you have said is true. BBBJ are not low risk just lower risk. DATY is even safer. For both parties.
By the way oral sex is a major way syphilis is spread. It spreads quite readily by that medium.
I'm sure your very correct in that she offers it to everybody. I'm sure she genuinely does think she's clean also, but offering BBFS (i'm sure at an additional cost) isn't going to keep her that way.
I don't take risks with my life. Neither should you or anybody who plans on staying in the biz (either hobbying or working) for long!
Responses provide sound advice. Send PM, liked info to make an imformed decision.
BBFS, unbelievable. It was your first time seeing her, and that's what she said? Crazy. Think about it, if its your first time seeing her and she offers that to you, can you imaging what goes on with her other clients?
Once you get an STD bro, its not fun anymore. BBFS significantly increases your chances of contracting an STD. You didn't pose a question in your thread, only a summary of your experience. I would assume that you need advice for a repeat. I'd say skip town on her. Look at a few STD photos on Google, that's enough to make you want to make anyone cover up. Good luck!
P.S. He said he "seen" her? wtf?
Neither do I. If you are so concerned then don't see her anymore and on that note don't see any other providers as you do not know who they are barebacking in their personal life.
Been fucking that way my whole life, so if it were offered to me....that friggen condom is coming off!!
Hey, at least i'm honest.
Damn, dude! That's scary shit right there!
Hey, at least i'm honest.
Not really!
Been all over the world fucking, ain't dead yet!!
with a tested, monogamous partner it can be enjoyed pretty much worry free, but if we are being completely honest, the anxiety associated with waiting weeks and months for all your tests to come back clean far outweighs any momentary pleasure that BBFS offers.
I get tested monthly, and even though I hobby relatively safely, there is still that small level of anxiety for a few days while I wait for the results. I can't imagine amplifying that with the true risk that BBFS presents. Chlamydia and gonorrhea don't scare me too much, because those can be addressed with an antibiotic. The bigger risks are the ones you get for life (herpes, AIDS, etc.) or the ones that cause your dick to break out in all sorts of nasty ways.
So in summary, if you don't give a shit about your dick or whomever you'll be sticking your dick into next, and you can come to grips with the fact that you might get a permanent disease, and finally, if you really like the idea of 6-9 months of blood and urine tests before you know if you are totally clean, then go for it dude!! If you can last that long it will be the most amazing 5-10 minutes of your life.
Otherwise think with the big head.
I'm concerned about seeing her again. I like BBBJ and DATY but feel that the risk of me getting something is increased by engaging in these activities with someone who does BBFS. She is an active provider and I have no reason to believe she doesn't treat everyone to the bare back treatment.
Thanks for the help.
Solicitation and another charge for doing it while knowing she was HIV positive.
Keep the little head from thinking for the big head.
Just my .02
Kisses
Elle Vegas
that was then! And yes, I did catch something once, was treated! Never saw her again.
This is now. I can drive a retro car but there's no turning back the clock!
-- Modified on 6/20/2012 9:53:10 AM