Starting now, I have a special going for the next 3 days. Please keep reading for the rates below.

I've wanted to write an outrageous ad for awhile now, think in the spirit of some of the crazier ladies that have posted ads in the past.

Then, when I get to it, I freeze up but today, I'm not.

I missed quite a bit of work, during the past 3 weeks, due to a temporary illness and the ice. But I'm doing great now, so I'll be around all day, and ALL of the evening, for the next 3 days.

What does this mean for you? For a RARE discounted rate, you get to visit with me in all of my glory. Right now. All that you have to do is pick up the phone and call me.

214-923-7793

I'll be available during the day but also, late at night and early in the AM. I am NOT turning off my phone in the evenings.

This is a rare treat to see me after hours and when I'm generally not available, unless we've met before and planned ahead.

Feel free to bring food over! Or something sweet. We can break some bread together, too! I'm open to most cuisines.

Would you like to read a sweet poem?  

Pretty Jane be nimble
Saw everything as a phallic symbol

Concave, converse, convex
Reminded Jane of sex, sex, sex.

Imagine then, to her glee
To find a peachy penis tree?

Harvest time came very fleeting,
Poor Jane died from overeating.
###

Hope you're smiling just a bit.  

When I meet someone, well everyone is so very different. I do NOT follow a script when meeting with a new friend. Instead, I try to figure out what you need. Inside.

I like to get into your head, if I can. Sometimes, if you're very difficult to read, you might have to share with me some of your thoughts.

And that is so different for everyone. Sure, some men like to explore and like their bottoms played with and prodded. I like doing that! I can also play a mean game of dress up and include a tea party, too!

Want to watch me put on some makeup and lipstick? Then play with you? Oh yes.

I'm not a severely dominate woman. I do not wear leather. I like the sensuality of being with a man regardless of the intent to dominate.  

However, there are the softer times which are often the best. Touching. Caressing. Lots of kissing.

I'm naturally VERY affectionate in nature. Ask anyone.  

Teasing and teasing and teasing you until you're begging for a release? I"m VERY good with keeping you at a level of pleasure and not letting you go over the edge.

Are you interested in that? AFTER you screen, then we can discuss some of your baser desires and go forward.

This "ad" probably won't be one of the crazier ones that you're reading if not today, than another day. But I'm so glad that you've read my words today.  

Make a plan to visit with me one day, if not in the next 3. Make me a holiday treat!!!

You're in for a really wonderful experience. Promise.

30-35 minutes are available for the next 3 days, all day. $120

Following rates are good through Wednesday evening:

One Hour - $200 ($220 regular rate)
Two Hours - $300 ($400 regular rate)
Three Hours - $400 ($500 regular rate)

Limited outcall available. Outcall rates are different. Ask me. $50 outcall fee in the Dallas area, proper.

214-923-7793

[email protected] (Men who e-mail me, before calling, will get brownie points!)

www.nottheusualone.com

How about some cute lyrics from the musical "Hairspray" (very campy!)?

I offer big love
With no apology
How can I deny the world
The most of me

I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound
Because I'm
Big, blonde and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable

No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast

Slice off a piece
Of that hog head cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes

Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man-size... Appetite

I'll use a pinch of sugar
And a dash of spice
I'll let ya lick the spoon
Because it tastes so nice

I'll keep it in my oven
'Til it's good and hot
Keep on stirring til it hits the spot
###

Let's plan for a remarkable time together.

Would you like to meet with me for all day? Or all night? Just let me know your thoughts. We'll work something out.

All of my best,
Elisabeth