i am email only for initial contact, and then transition to phone calls after, in order to get to know someone a bit and decide whether or not we'd be a good fit. i also do not provide a phone number to any person i have never met, which means that i am the one doing the calling. not only does this make me feel much safer and tons more comfortable, it also means that i never get the kind of disturbing, rude and crude correspondence you are talking about. i can't imagine some strange man calling me and even just requesting a date, much less saying that sort of filth.
so if you have the temperament and patience for it, i highly recommend using email as your initial form of contact, and then phone conversations as a follow-up...on your terms.
So I have a confession. I HATE using a phone for business. I feel like I only ever get rude, inconsistent, shady, and downright suspicious callers. I know that there are some gents out there more comfortable making contact via phone, hence the reason I even bothered, but I indicate on all my ads that I prefer emails. Those phone calls just creep me out. And in addition to that, there are texts like these (actual messages):
"Do u do anal?" "I wanna cumm inside your pussy raw dick" "I saw you juicy thick ass on eros" (I actually kinda liked the compliment but this character didn't bother with a hello or even are you free)
In my experience, serious inquiries usually come via email anyway so my question is, is this damn phone even worth it? I would also love to hear the crazy texts you girls get from guys clearly somewhere masturbating to your pics lol.
I don't give out my number until a day or two before we are supposed to meet and I make it clear that I only want a phone call a little before our scheduled rendezvous. I don't post my phone number anywhere. Just about everything is done by email.
emails rather than a phone call.For that reason I do not post my phone number I also found when I posted my phone number I was getting weird and sometimes quite suspect calls.I also do not like text messages and I also stated no text messages in my ads sure enough what do I get?Text Messages.I find a lot of gentleman prefer email I have no problem providing my number right before appointment time.I also like to have a quick chat before meeting but everything else I prefer email.Also sometimes I cannot answer the phone but can respond quickly to an email.I don't even want to go there with the text messages I received because I will not respond to them.Keep the phone so at least if something comes up the gentleman can contact you quickly some do not always have access to internet.Also you could remove your phone number from ads and just put your number is available after screening that should cut down on the weird,prank,and just plain silly calls.
I prefer initially contacting a provider via e-mail, myself, saving phone contact for the final two-call thing. I find that things flow a lot better with e-mail, and we can be more descriptive (note: NOT explicit) about various issues that way. And no excuses about contact, either: if you're advertising via the Internet, and if the guy has found you via the Internet, there's gotta be e-mail available *somewhere*.
- the first words spoken to my BM on her hobby phone.
A couple of calls later, some dude is asking her weird stupid shit like, "Do you like corn? Have you ever ridden in a Camaro? Can you guess what my moms middle name is?" Huh?
That was from the only ad she ever posted with her phone number - her first - right here on the MN discussion board. Before the day was done she'd had the post deleted and henceforth never posted her phone number again - e-mail only. She did just fine without it. I can understand why any girl would want to go that route.
But personally, I almost never see e-mail only girls. It's not a matter of principle or anything like that, I just rarely have the luxury of scheduling far in advance and e-mail correspondance is usually just to damn sloooow.
I only post my email address in my ads and website. Then, after screening, and setting an appointment, I exchange phone numbers with the client in order for contact information. That seems to help.
with e-mail as a way to send references or comment on my website. I have a girlfriend who used phone only at the same time and her phone rang off the wall when we met for lunch. I'm not sure yet if the direct phone connect is better yet since it's been a short time since I purchased my boost phone but at least if some one prefers to contact me that way they can. I never take text messages and turn my phone off when i'm busy or with friends and family.
Yes I have had men call I would rather didn't but I have had calls from men that don't use e-mail and hate playing phone tag.
For me, if I want to meet you, I will do what you say for that to happen. Email, phone, references, etc. Email can be slow, and have had problems when I travel sometimes getting to check it. The thing I think is funny about text messaging is all the ladies say they don't like it, won't take them, so on. Sure seem to get a lot of them though once you have had a chance to meet and they know you are ok.
Here is my take on this.I like a email if its short i'm gone. If she takes some time and writes a nice email i will proceed. Then comes the phone call i seem to think this is the deal maker or breaker. then the phone call heck i can talk to anybody if she starts well i'm really busy and booked bla bla so rude. i never am rude or state anything about what will happen nore do i expect this.I expect a pleasent voice and has to be very personable if shes a stick in the mud on the phone and bet it will be very boring meeting. i am new 3 month now and only have had one bad exper just was'nt there for ethier of us. But if she is positive on the phone its been good. Just a real hassle findin new girls for me.of Girls a lot of us really like a phone call This comes more from girls under the age of 40 for me that are rude girls over 40 seem to be more mature.
i am email only for initial contact, and then transition to phone calls after, in order to get to know someone a bit and decide whether or not we'd be a good fit. i also do not provide a phone number to any person i have never met, which means that i am the one doing the calling. not only does this make me feel much safer and tons more comfortable, it also means that i never get the kind of disturbing, rude and crude correspondence you are talking about. i can't imagine some strange man calling me and even just requesting a date, much less saying that sort of filth.
so if you have the temperament and patience for it, i highly recommend using email as your initial form of contact, and then phone conversations as a follow-up...on your terms.
people, especially strangers, will always surprise you i guess.
anywho, no hoop-jumping is required in order to see me. believe it or not there are actually quite a few men seeking a friend, a companion, or at the very least a woman with whom they genuinely connect on a level beyond the physical. they're not hobbyists, and they're not folks just looking for some good old-fashioned NSA sex. they want and need something more....and that something more is what i try my best to provide. so these men actually LIKE the fact that i request so much personal information, they enjoy the process of getting to know each other, and sincerely appreciate my genuine interest in them, my gentle digging into their psyche. they are happy to provide a personal phone number, to have the opportunity to talk and discover one another for weeks, not because they are so desperate for sex but because that can just be an awesome and immensely fulfilling experience in itself. don't you recall the rush and excitement you had with your wife in the earliest stages of your relationship?
and for some it is a level of psychological intimacy and acceptance that they have never before experienced, even with their wife/mate.
so no, i am definitely not the girl to contact if a man is looking for a quick casual hook-up. but those men don't contact me in the first place (my ads keep them away thank goodness). my audience is different. it has nothing to do with desperation, just a completely different set of needs than yours, or what is common in the hobby world.
It is much more closer to a real GFE than NSA sex. It is you take so much information to see but it sounds like you give so little in return. Risk goes both ways, so should screening. I just don't get why anyone would take such a one sided leap of faith as to give out enough information that you could easily destroy them yet not even have your phone number. Maybe, I am overly clinical because I deal with cons on a daily bases.
I do admire your screening practices, they sound very through. I just find it hard to believe that someone looking for a deeper connection, not just sex, would not demand more information. I would not see a lady on an intimate level that wouldn't at least show me she trusted me with at least a phone number. What you claim to provide is more intimate than sex, much more intimate. I just can't believe anyone would take such a risk without being desperate for something. It is what you claim to provide that makes it that much more riskier for the guy, as the rejection would come twice as hard.
Maybe my earlier post was a bit harsh but it seems you require the guy to take all the risks and take none yourself. I could never be in such a one sided relationship. It is true I do gather a great deal of information before contact a lady but once I do I give a large amount of information in return in part to maintain balance. I find it is only fair.
One question, if you don't even trust the guys you see with your phone number before you meet how are you really offering true "psychological intimacy and acceptance"?
P.S. The hobby does not fulfill any of my needs. I just hobby to keep balance with my wife and to ease her guilt. I hobby to fulfill my wifes needs.
And to answer your question, "don't you recall the rush and excitement you had with your wife in the earliest stages of your relationship?" No, I don't. There was never a "rush" in the early stages in my wife and I relationship at least on my part. We started off as just friends. I really helped her out of a bad situation and she wanted to return the favor as she sensed that I was really lonely and befriended me. I didn't really start to see a romantic relationship as possible because of how outgoing and how good she looked and how socially awkward and unattractive I was, until I knew her for almost a year. She seen something in me more than what I seen in me. By the time I got really exited about the relationship I knew a great deal about her.
i'm not sure why you view the risks as so one-sided, when we are talking about exactly two pieces of information i do not share with people i haven't met: a last name, a phone number. that's it. my guess is that most providers don't ever provide a last name...even to someone they may have known for years...for the obvious reasons of personal safety. i'm actually not so concerned with that for myself, but i am concerned for my family. but of course as you are well aware, if someone is really determined and has the basic know-how, they could get that information if they wanted.
as for a phone number...trust needs to be established before i can reach that level of intimacy with someone. a relationship grows and evolves over time...there is no rush. once i actually meet someone, and he is pleased with me and wishes to continue the relationship...he is welcome to have my number. from that point forward he is free to call me at any reasonable time, and for any reason whatsoever. maybe he wants the company of my voice on his drive home from work, or to share a funny story, or rant to someone who cares about the god-awful day he's had. yes, it's intimate...but that intimacy is perfectly natural because we have MUTUAL trust. right now i know that every person who has my phone number actually LIKES me, that i have some connection with that person. that is a really great feeling. why would i want someone who doesn't even like me or want me to have my number?
you would perhaps be surprised at what i share with people before meeting. after all, the whole point is us getting to know each other...so many details about my personal life come out...basically, whatever is asked, and a great deal which isn't. there are some men who prefer a veil of mystery over the lives of the providers they see...you won't get that with me, lol.
you also have to understand scoed it is the connection i have with another person which drives the process...meaning, if that first email gives me the impression that we likely wouldn't be a good match, it goes no further. if that first phone call feels awkward, it goes no further. it's important that this be something we BOTH want, that he feels natural and comfortable every step along the way, otherwise there is no point. remember the rejection can go both ways...it can sting when i've been communicating with someone well and then suddenly we hit a wall, when it becomes obvious i'm not what they want or need. but that's part of the emotional risk i choose to take.
"One question, if you don't even trust the guys you see with your phone number before you meet how are you really offering true 'psychological intimacy and acceptance'?"
trust is something which grows over time...little bit by little bit. obviously the trust level i have with someone i've never met, no matter how good the connection thus far, cannot compare with the trust level i have with someone i've actually seen. as for me having their number, that has nothing to do with trust. that is faith. they have faith that i will not misuse the information, they have faith in my character. likewise i must have faith that when we are in a room alone together they will do me no harm. up until fairly recently, i met clients in my own home. talk about faith!!
"And to answer your question, "don't you recall the rush and excitement you had with your wife in the earliest stages of your relationship?" No, I don't. There was never a "rush" in the early stages in my wife and I relationship at least on my part. We started off as just friends."
that's exactly how i feel all good relationships should begin...as friends. it was the same with my Husband i...He wasn't looking for anyone, i wasn't looking for anyone, and we sure as heck weren't thinking of each other in "that" way. we were just good friends. however where you and i obviously differ is that for me there IS a rush in getting to know someone new, in those budding stages of friendship where you are learning any and everything about each other. i was fascinated by his life, his history, his opinions, his beliefs...it had nothing to do with romance, it was just awesome to have met such a cool person. it was awesome to have that connection. that is how i feel when getting to know the RIGHT potential client...where we just click. i want to hear about his first love, how he chose his profession, the scar on his knee from age 5...just everything. and hopefully, he is equally excited about me. that is the best.
I guess your clients are fine with the way you do business. I just would not trust anyone who would not trust me enough to at leased give me a way to contact them if something came up at the last minute enough to be alone with her. I am a bit paranoid but that comes with having a job in which you are lied to all the time. I guess we just are not compatible and I don't understand being that open with someone I have not met and will not give me a way to contact her (email don't count as it is not real time) as you require to see you. But that is OK. There are lots of people I am not compatible with.
you are right, everyone is not compatible...and thank goodness for that, because if it were that simple life would sure be a snooze!
also, you seem to be focused on calling a girl at the time of actually meeting them. things do sometimes come up last minute, accidents happen, etc. however because i have their number, i am able to call them. anyone i'm meeting for the first time will be called periodically as they are their way, to ensure all is still well. but you are talking about a one-time event...(a first meeting). i am focused on a relationship, hopefully one which will last a long, long time...not a few moments.
I am not just worried about calling at the time of the meeting, although that is important, I am talking about a basic level of trust I feel is necessary to even meet. I don't trust those who don't trust me. A phone number is fairly safe to give out and it is a real common practice to exchange numbers before meeting. If someone does not even trust me that much it makes me suspicious of their intent and I will not let myself be alone with someone I don't trust at least at a basic level. No phone number= no trust= no first meeting with me= no relationship with me.
But my phobias aren't important as I am not your client and I am not looking for a paid long term friend with benefits, which is what you seem provide. I am mostly looking to ease my wifes guilt, bring balance to my relationship with my wife, and add a bit of variety to my sex life when I hobby. I am glad you have found your niche. If every lady ran her business the same way what would we talk about here? And your right if everyone was compatible this world would get boring. As you said, "It's all good." You should always run your life and business in a way that makes you feel safe.
P.S. Just so everyone is clear I am fine with email for contact until screened to reduce calls from time-wasters ant the like. I just want a phone number before we meet.
My web site clearly states. I accept and encourage polite letters of introduction.. Usually the the ones that call first are crude and have obviously not done their homework.
I have missed lots and lots of $ doing it this way.. BUT, I don't regret it abit.. I much prefer to spend my time with a QUALITY GENTLEMAN..
On the rare occasion a Gentleman calls me and seems to have some sense about him I will chat with him and then encourage him to send me email with his reference information....
I suppose it all depends on your needs and goals... Ignore and delete idiots always.....
Posted By: ElleJ
So I have a confession. I HATE using a phone for business. I feel like I only ever get rude, inconsistent, shady, and downright suspicious callers. I know that there are some gents out there more comfortable making contact via phone, hence the reason I even bothered, but I indicate on all my ads that I prefer emails. Those phone calls just creep me out. And in addition to that, there are texts like these (actual messages):
"Do u do anal?" "I wanna cumm inside your pussy raw dick" "I saw you juicy thick ass on eros" (I actually kinda liked the compliment but this character didn't bother with a hello or even are you free)
In my experience, serious inquiries usually come via email anyway so my question is, is this damn phone even worth it? I would also love to hear the crazy texts you girls get from guys clearly somewhere masturbating to your pics lol.
her web site or in her ad. As pointed out, way to many wierdos out there to call you every hr. of the night to ask "Can I come over in 30 minutes?" when he calls at 2 am.
I also prefer e-mail for work because I am not fond of playing phone tag.
I have tried to contact several providers in the Las Vegas area for my upcoming trip there. A few of those ladies are well reviewed here and one or two are quite active on the message boards too.
I know how the game is played so I was polite and purposefully vague in that I did not inquire as to money or activities. Basically I said that I am coming to Vegas on these dates and staying at hotel xyz. I am very interested in seeing you and would like to know if you have availability during my stay. Of the six provided that I contacted via email, none have responded and it has been almost two weeks now.
So much for the thought of using email as a form of contact. Guess I will just stick to casino girls this trip...
that you contacted six providers out here in Vegas and not one responded.Hmm..I do not know what you provided in your email you said you were purposely vague.Did you provide your screening info?
Posted By: isofit
I have tried to contact several providers in the Las Vegas area for my upcoming trip there. A few of those ladies are well reviewed here and one or two are quite active on the message boards too.
I know how the game is played so I was polite and purposefully vague in that I did not inquire as to money or activities. Basically I said that I am coming to Vegas on these dates and staying at hotel xyz. I am very interested in seeing you and would like to know if you have availability during my stay. Of the six provided that I contacted via email, none have responded and it has been almost two weeks now.
So much for the thought of using email as a form of contact. Guess I will just stick to casino girls this trip...
"I'm going to be in town for a while. You wanna get together?" To many providers, he's a tire kicker. I'd reword his request to "I'm hoping to get together with you on the 17th at 8pm, but I'm flexible to other times if that's not convenient for you."
"I'm going to be in town for a while. You wanna get together?" To many providers, he's a tire kicker. I'd reword his request to "I'm hoping to get together with you on the 17th at 8pm, but I'm flexible to other times if that's not convenient for you."
How much detail should he provide, given that he doesn't know anything about this woman yet? Should his very first attempt to contact the provider include his name, address, phone, hotel, room number, etc?
Why is it unreasonable to expect the provider to contact him back, with a simple "Yes, I am working on those dates. Here's the info I need for screening. Please send it to me, along with the times you want to get together."
An inquiry should contain the date, time, and how long you want to see the provider. Her web site probably has the information she needs for screening. If the hobbyist checks the web site first, he could include screening info as well.
As stated in a previous response, all of the ladies that I contacted were members of P411 so screening should not have been a problem. My contact info. and provider OK's were all there for her to see. And the messages were all sent through the p411 system which I am assuming uses some sort of redirect to send the message to the proper e-mail address.
Here is what I sent just so you will know:
Hi (insert name here)! I am going to be in Vegas from Nov. 28 through Dec. 3 and I will be staying at the Bellagio. I was hoping that you would be available at some point during my stay so that we might get together. My preference is early to mid evening but that is certainly not set in stone.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at xxx.xxx.xxxx but please remember that I am on the east coast so allow for the time difference.
Hope to hear from you soon!
My name
Now as I said, this above message was sent to each lady that I had wanted to see and I know that the p411 system works as I have set up many other appointments the exact same way. For those of you not familiar with the provider request system in p411, you enter your preferred time, date and session duration and all of the info. is included with the message sent to the provider.
did you respond to a post on 11/9 on lvboard saying that you only had 25 days counting until you come out here and yo already had an appointment set up?You were also checking out an agency out here now nobody responded t9o you.Which one is it?
Posted By: isofit
The ladies in question were all members of P411 so screening should have not been a problem.
Not sure why you are so interested in my vacation plans but I will humor you and let you know. Yes, one evening's plans are set but there are still a few other that are vacant. It is the several other evening that I am wanting to fill. And yes I have looked into one particular agency and they do seem promising. Satisfied now?
I guess you could not understand why I had contacted others when you thought that I had things already set up. Well the answer is simply. Providers are generally flakes, especially in Vegas. If anything, experience has shown that if you want to have three nights in Vegas with provider entertainment, you need to contact at least six to eight providers in order to get any response. And even then there is no guarantee that you will not get blown off of stood up
I am not interessted whatsoever in your vacation plans.Your initial response to this topic came off as Vegas providers being flakes so you will just go with a casino girl.Vegas sometimes get a bad rep which is not always true.There are flakes everywhere so I was just responding to your initial response.If you have plans made good for you but your responses totally contradict each other.That is all I am saying there are alot of Vegas ladies that handle their biz me included!
Posted By: isofit
Not sure why you are so interested in my vacation plans but I will humor you and let you know. Yes, one evening's plans are set but there are still a few other that are vacant. It is the several other evening that I am wanting to fill. And yes I have looked into one particular agency and they do seem promising. Satisfied now?
I guess you could not understand why I had contacted others when you thought that I had things already set up. Well the answer is simply. Providers are generally flakes, especially in Vegas. If anything, experience has shown that if you want to have three nights in Vegas with provider entertainment, you need to contact at least six to eight providers in order to get any response. And even then there is no guarantee that you will not get blown off of stood up
My recommendation is: do not use BP and alikes ... Also say something like "any vulgar languages will cause immediate termination of phone conversation".
huh? Thats odd because I'm new here and considering spending time with a provider..It would be my first time so I thought Email would be the way to go,and yes I would give a proper intro and write a long letter and not discuss anyting other than meeting..Out of the one I contacted via email it would be no response or "why don you just call"..
Funny thing is I clearly state that I feel more comfortable getting to know you (provider) before I decide to arrange a meeting..I know some ladies dont want to waste their time with emails but it would put a newbie at ease(me)..But all I ever get is ano response or "just call to set up a date"..So go figure lol!
Posted By: ElleJ
So I have a confession. I HATE using a phone for business. I feel like I only ever get rude, inconsistent, shady, and downright suspicious callers. I know that there are some gents out there more comfortable making contact via phone, hence the reason I even bothered, but I indicate on all my ads that I prefer emails. Those phone calls just creep me out. And in addition to that, there are texts like these (actual messages):
"Do u do anal?" "I wanna cumm inside your pussy raw dick" "I saw you juicy thick ass on eros" (I actually kinda liked the compliment but this character didn't bother with a hello or even are you free)
In my experience, serious inquiries usually come via email anyway so my question is, is this damn phone even worth it? I would also love to hear the crazy texts you girls get from guys clearly somewhere masturbating to your pics lol.
I loathe the telephone when contacting providers. I'm on it all day at work yet, in spite of that, I have a bit of a phone phobia (go figure). I've always been kinda bummed out by the number of apparently awesome providers who don't like to use e-mail at all... especially since I have an odd european last name that's hard to get people to understand over the phone for RS2k purposes. I kinda understand why it's that way but even so...
I've noticed a few providers here and there who prefer only e-mail. Chances are, when I'm looking I'm gonna go with one of them.
I will schedule appointments over the phone, but only for those with verification info on hand. Otherwise, they get referred to my website contact form with in 30 seconds.
I am picky about who I will talk to on the phone. They must first ask for me by name, not "I'm calling about your ad" and introduce themselves.
I also hate talking on the phone as well. I'm actually a text person. I usually respond much quicker to texts just because my life doesn't revolve being a provider and I might be in an environment where I can't talk on the phone. I also prefer emails too.
The flip side is i always get some random text from a guy asking stupid questions like "After seeing me a few times can we do BBFS?" or "Do you do BBBJ". Those are the most common ones I get.
I also get the guys that text and say "what's up, what are you doing". I'm not really into small talk. I would rather you just ask if I'm available and we can go from there. I'm not your friend and I don't want to chit chat with you
I've also been getting a lot of pimps, usually California numbers, texting me, basically saying I should work with them. Really? I'm really going to respond to a pimp that contacted me via text. I guees the game has gotten really weak that that's the last resort to get girls
The phone goes. I will still have the number so that clients can contact me at the time of the meeting but no more advertised phone numbers. Its just more trouble than help. Thanks again!
I hardly get calls/texts like that anymore. But when I do I ignore them for sure. The way I see it, if a guy sends me a message like that, he is not the mature gentleman-type that I look for.
I actually prefer to handle my business over the phone. Emailing is okay to request an appointment, but when it comes to deciphering rates for specific fetishes or giving a client my location, it HAS to be done via phone conversation.
I guess it's because I'm the type who doesn't like to leave a paper trail or evidence in writing about what may or may not go on.
Call me Cautious, but it's kept me super safe & LE free this long
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