Re:PLEASE HELP

Hmmmm, treEATMErite,

This is an interesting one. It seems that you are wondering if it's OK to have fun on the job? The answer is a resounding yes! Of course it makes the session much more exciting if you are madly and sexually attracted to him, no?

Observe the 'madly' and 'sexually' designation here. We're not talking marriage, we're not talking relationship, we're talking raw sex.

Now, the "connection" as you describe it...what's that all about? And is it the same for him? Did you get into personal issues inbetween the nookie?

You say you have "feelings" for him. They seem to me like a mixture of lust, attraction and definitely passion. Of course for women, such feelings most often lead to intense desires of bonding. It's normal and part of a woman's evolutionary and biochemical makeup. So now, we have to ask ourselves: does this man have the same 'bonding' feelings for you, or is this strictly sexual?

One of the biggest and most natural mistakes women make, is to confuse men's desire to copulate with desire to bond and begin a long-term relationship. At any given time in this world, there's another woman waiting by the phone; stuffing herself with chocolates inbetween the tears; drivin' and cryin' in the rain, in complete incomprehension of why he's just not callin'. [Yep folks, I've done it too, don't worry.] Meanwhile, the guy is working, sleeping, watching TV or canoodling with someone else [woe of woes], in complete oblivion and ignorance of what's going on at the other end of town - or the world. And yep, that's normal too!

My advice to you comes from an old, friendly and experienced place: when in doubt, do nothing. Yes, it's hard to sit there and drip with love juice, but please, let him make the first move.

You work for an agency, so I don't think it would be looked upon with kindly eyes if you contacted the client yourself. Of course, if you're sick of the pandering agreement and wish to strike out on your own, more power to you. On the other hand, maybe you really like your boss and have a good relationship? So much more reason not to jeopardize it until push really comes to shove.

The other issue is this: do you know anything personal about this man? His life situation? And do you know how he views you, not as a provider, but as a human being with potential worth investing in? I mean that his emotional energy is his capital in this case, and he will only invest his feelings in you if it's profitable to him on a non-sexual scale.

As a woman - and as a very horny one in the past - this was the hardest lesson for me to understand. While I tore through men's bodies like a female Attila the Hun, I got myself all wound up emotionally and couldn't understand why a guy could play along and then poof - just vanish! I listened to many a friend who gently tried to tell me, "let the guy make the first move," and "you give yourself so freely and willingly, there is nothing for the guy to fight for." I had no clue what all this meant, and I just kept going, going and going...and getting nowhere. Little did I understand that there were evolutionary forces at play here, with all that hunting and chasing meant to the different genders.

My point in all this rambling, treEATMErite, is this: Let him come back to you for another session. At that point, see how you feel. If it gets even hotter, tell him that you're crazy for him SEXUALLY, and wait for his response. But please understand that in order for something deeper to evolve, he has to be in a place where the potential of knowing you as a person clearly outweighs just a few hours of banging, no matter how hot and heavy. And that has to come with time.

It ain't easy,
the Love Goddess

Here is the same story from the opposite side of the coin:

About twenty years ago, when I was still a novice at this whole buisness, I saw a woman weekly at a massage parlor with whom I got along famously.

Apparently too famously.  After a while she suggested that we start meeting at her place where more than the usual massage parlor FBSM things went on and we spent time doing all kind of boyfriend/girlfriend stuff like dinners, movies, etc; but always "on the clock".

Long story short:  She suggested that I buy her a house (I had some money back then.) and, of course, I could come over any time I liked.  Oh, and would it be too much trouble if you were to donate some sperm to her because she wanted to become a mother.

(Note: She knew that I was seeing other providers at the same time. Some were friends of hers from the same massage parlor.)

I had to tell her that I did't see it happening.

That started the beginning of the end.  I haven't seen her for several years now; a fact that leaves me with mixed emotions.

I liked her very much and we had a wonderful time together.  We had a definate mental and physical thing, but I certainly was not prepared for the kind of commitments that she was suggesting.  (For one thing, I was still married!)

Too bad that it couldn't have remained that way.

Re:PLEASE HELP

Hah. That's one thing that we average guys don't have to worry about...that the provider will suddenly fall in love with us.