A woman decides that she's had it with trying to find a decent man in a bar. So she takes out an ad in the paper that says she is seeking a mate who is loyal, rich and a good lover.
After a few days, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.
He says, "I'm here about your ad."
Momentarily taken aback, she says, "Well, how do I know you're loyal?"
"Well, I saved my platoon from the VC in 'Nam. That's where I lost my arms and legs," he replies.
"Well, how do I know you're rich?" she inquires.
"I make over $3 million a year. I have my own software company. You can look at my bank statement," he continues.
Looking him over in his wheelchair, she demands, "Well, how do I know you're a good lover?"
He shrugs, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
We thank you for your purchase!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!