Pierre, the French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me." Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you  doing, Pierre?" says the startled Marie. "I am Pierre the fighter pilot. When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!"

     She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little,Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."  Our hero tears her blouse open,grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. "Pierre, what are you doing?" asks the bewildered Marie. "I am Pierre the fighter pilot, and when I have white meat, I like to have white wine."

      They resume their passionate interlude and Marie begins to pant with excitement. She leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me  lower." Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He lights a match and puts it to the Cognac. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!"

       Pierre strikes an heroic pose and proclaims, "I am Pierre the fighter pilot... if I go down, I go down in flames!"