No, wldhrt,
The hobby didn't "ruin" you. But what the hobby has done is enable you to raise your standards in the appearance department. Other than that, you seem to be able to enjoy her "9/10 in the sack" plus "everything else" you "wanted in a mate."
Hence you will need to decide - do you want "a mate" or "a babe?" Funny business, that looks/performance issue, even in civvie life. Men who end up with a mate, particularly one who is a 9/10 in the sack, seem to be very happy campers in the long run. Men who go for the babes are rarely able to convert them into mates; instead, the babes end up being disposable and replaced at a fairly good clip. And the men usually complain about "never finding anyone," despite the heavy circulation of women in their lives.
You're not saying how old you are, but from your posting, I gather you are slightly more mature than 20. Any woman you're with, babe or not, will get older, saggier and more familiar with time. If that's the case and you've got the funds to spend, take her to a plastic surgeon and make a swan out of her - no problem in today's day and age. But how to make a snippy swan into an affectionate cock-a-tiel [sorry, couldn't resist], that's an altogether impossible task.
On the other hand, if you just don't have the hots for her, then you're probably more into a fuckbuddy situation and I suppose you can let it run its course. The hobby didn't ruin you, but it certainly does put some idiosyncratic time constraints into the equation. You are somewhat under the clock and sometimes required to decide on this or that. Relax and take it slow and see where this relationship goes - if your penis won't do the picking, then stop the sex, stop leading the situation forward, and focus on meeting other women.
Good luck, sounds like fun,
The Love Goddess
I stopped hobbying about 4 months ago. I met a lady and she has thrilled me in every way! She is completely opposite from my ex-wife. Loves to travel and hike go to shows and everything I wanted in a mate.
So here is my situation: She is a 9/10 in the sack. Looks though she's right around a 6 ( I'm using TER rating for the sake of his discussion) I'm not kidding myself I'm about a 6/7 in the looks dept.
So the word love has been thrown back and forth and I'm not sure what love is anymore. In the early stages of our sex life, we started having sex after 2nd date. I found after about a the 4th time it was getting hard to orgasm. I would have to close my eyes and think about all the providers I've been with. I was with some stunners! Okay so here is finally the question: Did the hobby ruin me?
No, wldhrt,
The hobby didn't "ruin" you. But what the hobby has done is enable you to raise your standards in the appearance department. Other than that, you seem to be able to enjoy her "9/10 in the sack" plus "everything else" you "wanted in a mate."
Hence you will need to decide - do you want "a mate" or "a babe?" Funny business, that looks/performance issue, even in civvie life. Men who end up with a mate, particularly one who is a 9/10 in the sack, seem to be very happy campers in the long run. Men who go for the babes are rarely able to convert them into mates; instead, the babes end up being disposable and replaced at a fairly good clip. And the men usually complain about "never finding anyone," despite the heavy circulation of women in their lives.
You're not saying how old you are, but from your posting, I gather you are slightly more mature than 20. Any woman you're with, babe or not, will get older, saggier and more familiar with time. If that's the case and you've got the funds to spend, take her to a plastic surgeon and make a swan out of her - no problem in today's day and age. But how to make a snippy swan into an affectionate cock-a-tiel [sorry, couldn't resist], that's an altogether impossible task.
On the other hand, if you just don't have the hots for her, then you're probably more into a fuckbuddy situation and I suppose you can let it run its course. The hobby didn't ruin you, but it certainly does put some idiosyncratic time constraints into the equation. You are somewhat under the clock and sometimes required to decide on this or that. Relax and take it slow and see where this relationship goes - if your penis won't do the picking, then stop the sex, stop leading the situation forward, and focus on meeting other women.
Good luck, sounds like fun,
The Love Goddess