Wow, you're expecting a lot of blind trust from the ladies if you won't even give them references. You are right about there being bad apples in both bunches that ruin it for everyone else. What you don't seem to get is that there is a lot of information on and you can weed out most of the the ladies, you want them to just trust that you're not some psycho. We are not just talking about stalkers and LE, ladies have been beaten, even killed, you really think they should just open the door to anyone who knocks?
As I said earlier, if the lady wants more information than you want to give, move on. This is your choice, why are you mad? I would not see a lady that does not screen, it is a way to protect them and protecting them protects me.