I was talking to a young woman in a bar last night.
 
She said: "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look alright."

I said: "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Cost me six stitches, but when you're my age - who cares?

-- Modified on 8/7/2016 8:04:32 PM