I was telling a woman in a bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.  

"Really," she said, "I'd like to see you try that on me."  

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"  
I said: "Yesterday."

Cost me six stitches, but when you're my age - who cares?

-- Modified on 8/7/2016 8:03:43 PM