A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis."  Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants.  So he just ignored it.  It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air.  So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table.  His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again".  He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."