It is a really awkward situation. My rule of thumb is that if I meet someone as a client I keep that relationship as a client/provider one. Some clients have become very special friends and although money still changes hands I do offer them more than what I would normally offer clients (more time/companionship). One very rare situation was a client who really wanted me to expand his wife's horizons and her and I became very close friends and as they were swingers we have dabbled outside of the biz in social/swinging situations.
And I do know a couple of girls who have met their life partners through the biz as well. One gave up working because she chose to and the other is still a provider but her partner totally understands and accepts that. But I do have an issue with guys who meet providers, get into a relationship with them, then expect them to give up the lifestyle, or girls that meet partners through the biz and expect them to give up being a hobbyist!! That just doesn't feel right to me! Why??? Why not just accept that boys will be boys and want to continue to have variety and spice and that girls will be girls and enjoy that interaction and financial independence that comes with being a provider???? In all of my years of being a provider I still don't understand the jealousy, possessiveness thing. It is human nature to want to share. Just like a mother has enough love for more than one child, so too does a woman have the capacity to love more than one man (and vice versa). Jealousy is an ugly thing and for me is a sign of immaturity and shows an unenlightened state of mind! Personally I do not choose to hang out with people who show those personality traits and if they do, I run a mile!!!!! Love me for who I am... a very horny, passionate, playful, uninhibited woman with enough love for all who care to share it!!!Below is a post from the Kansas City board, I can relate... Thoughts?
When a provider becomes more than a provider
Posted by mikeyfreeman , 1/18/2013 11:54:54 AM
I have a question for some of you who have been in this hobby way longer than i have. I can't possibly be the only man out here who has began to care for a provider way more than i probably should have, but as we all know, it's not a light switch you can turn on or off. The lady in question is a really great provider, but has so much more than that going for her and i grew to care quite a bit, and i THINK she views me as more than a client at least a little bit.
Here"s my question for someone who has been there, client or provider, should i have some patience and hope this progresses where i hope it will or come back to reality?
Any input is appreciated
Just do not ask her to quit her job if you become involved
These relationship hardly work..my advice is to move on
You are right... It is difficult though when things have become on my side more of an emotional attachment than a physical one, going from seeing multiple providers to only one was probably my mistake. Lol!
It is a really awkward situation. My rule of thumb is that if I meet someone as a client I keep that relationship as a client/provider one. Some clients have become very special friends and although money still changes hands I do offer them more than what I would normally offer clients (more time/companionship). One very rare situation was a client who really wanted me to expand his wife's horizons and her and I became very close friends and as they were swingers we have dabbled outside of the biz in social/swinging situations.
And I do know a couple of girls who have met their life partners through the biz as well. One gave up working because she chose to and the other is still a provider but her partner totally understands and accepts that.
But I do have an issue with guys who meet providers, get into a relationship with them, then expect them to give up the lifestyle, or girls that meet partners through the biz and expect them to give up being a hobbyist!! That just doesn't feel right to me! Why??? Why not just accept that boys will be boys and want to continue to have variety and spice and that girls will be girls and enjoy that interaction and financial independence that comes with being a provider????
In all of my years of being a provider I still don't understand the jealousy, possessiveness thing. It is human nature to want to share. Just like a mother has enough love for more than one child, so too does a woman have the capacity to love more than one man (and vice versa). Jealousy is an ugly thing and for me is a sign of immaturity and shows an unenlightened state of mind! Personally I do not choose to hang out with people who show those personality traits and if they do, I run a mile!!!!!
Love me for who I am... a very horny, passionate, playful, uninhibited woman with enough love for all who care to share it!!!
Very well stated kiwi! It is an awkward situation. I was in a long term relationship that ended far too late and 12 days later I met a provider that immediately a took a strong liking to me. We had similar interests so it wasn't just sex based. Also, at that time it was the best sex that I have ever had. She was sending emails to me where she remarked that she "could not stop thinking about me" and soon after initiated a relationship. Because the sex was so great and we did share interests, it was almost a deal I could not refuse. Also, I was slightly vulnerable after being in a relationship for so long.
I feel the same way about jealousy and envy that Kiwi does. It's a terrible human condition. It's really not even human, pets get jealous, so people with that trait are closer to dogs than ones who are not jealous.
TER did a poll once and if I remember correctly, 47% of providers remarked that they had SO's.
The relationship with the provider that I was with ultimately was ended over my desire to see other girls. She could not handle that, which seemed very odd to me. Also, since she had some very bad experiences in the hobby, I was concerned for her safety, which I wasn't okay with dealing with.
I don't regret any of it, it was a fun journey and I found love for awhile. The emails that I got from her were the more love infused than all other mail I have got from all other girls ever combined.
Now I seek providers that have So's. It makes the relationship so much more healthy. One of them is a very dear friend to me and if she didn't have an SO, I might be going down that path again. She adores me and I her but, that barrier is there which makes everything very comfortable for both of us. And like a good friend, she drives 4 hours to support me when I had a relative in the hospital and needed some emotional support.
I doubt I will repeat with crossing the line again. But I do have kind of a knack for finding providers that I have a connection with. It's based around research and being old and wise.
The provider that I was with ALWAYS answered my calls. I am sure some of them occurred in session. She is a very special person!
And I do know a couple of girls who have met their life partners through the biz as well. One gave up working because she chose to and the other is still a provider but her partner totally understands and accepts that.
But I do have an issue with guys who meet providers, get into a relationship with them, then expect them to give up the lifestyle, or girls that meet partners through the biz and expect them to give up being a hobbyist!! That just doesn't feel right to me! Why??? Why not just accept that boys will be boys and want to continue to have variety and spice and that girls will be girls and enjoy that interaction and financial independence that comes with being a provider????
In all of my years of being a provider I still don't understand the jealousy, possessiveness thing. It is human nature to want to share. Just like a mother has enough love for more than one child, so too does a woman have the capacity to love more than one man (and vice versa). Jealousy is an ugly thing and for me is a sign of immaturity and shows an unenlightened state of mind! Personally I do not choose to hang out with people who show those personality traits and if they do, I run a mile!!!!!
Love me for who I am... a very horny, passionate, playful, uninhibited woman with enough love for all who care to share it!!!!
Been there done that..you are just setting yourself up for major disappoint..come back to reality
Early in my hobby career I got involved with a provider I was seeing and we had a torrid affair that ended in a train wreck (Mostly for me) because I confused Great Sex with compatibility in the real world....I was an idiot and did not see that we had nothing common outside the bedroom....thankfully it ended before it was too late.
That experience was probably typical of the client who develops "Feelings" for a provider and it rarely ends well
But....Every once is a while it actually works out. I met my ATF a couple of years ago and we saw each other more and more until what started off as friendship developed into a full fledged love affair...Fast forward to today and she has retired and I have given up solo play (we still see the occassional provider as a couple) and we are riding off into the sunset happily ever after.
I realize that I have been incredibly lucky to have found the woman of my dreams and the odds are very much against any man who falls for a provider....but every once in a while you can catch lightning in a bottle.
Great love story, it is rare to find a good man that accepts everything.I Finally I found a great guy, this may not have been the proper place to meet but the heartt never lies....