A man is brought into the ER with bruises over most of his body, a laceration of his scalp, a broken nose, two black eyes and a golf club wrapped around his neck.

The ER staff quickly get a compression bandage on his head, take his vitals to make sure he is stable and then the resident starts questioning him about was happened. The man answers:

Well, doc... I was golfing with my wife, when she hooked one of her drives off to the side, past the club boundary and into the field of a nearby farm. We went over and searched for the ball for a good half hour without luck until I noticed a cow that was acting rather strangely.

Well, I walked over to her and noticed that she was rubbing her hind quarters against the fence, so I lightly whacked her to move her off, reached over, lifted her tail and - holy shit - there was the golf ball wedged in her ass!

So I turned to my wife still holding the tail up and yelled "honey, this looks like yours..."

And that's all that I remember, doc, honest...