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Newbie - FAQ

I think you'll be just fine, honey. That is so cute ha ha ha.
London Rayne See my TER Reviews 552 reads
posted

You want to know if an outfit request is "gong too far" and we have dipshits here, asking for bareback sex.

justinian12255 reads

Going to an agency for the first time and I want to request that my escort be dressed in a low cut top and bra, is that too far? Will it raise any suspicions especially right after getting verified? And I was planning on having her keep her bra on and me keep a t shirt on at least at first (im just into that ;))
That and me being real fat and pretty young are my top two concerns, just wondering if they'll mind at all or do they get this sort of thing all the time?

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MeetEricaStone708 reads

It's not typical but not uncommon for a man to leave his shirt on.  So go ahead and do what makes you feel comfortable.

One thing to remember is many of the providers are limited to what they have with them.  Not many have an entire wardrobe to choose from on any given day or tour.  So unless you're seeing someone who's NOT on tour and they are booked in advance (not same day) what you're asking for should be easy for most to accomodate.  My typical answer to wardrobe requests are that IF I have it, I'll wear it.  Otherwise, for those who like specific stuff that I don't have, don't own or can't easily acquire - I tell them I'll wear whatever they bring.  

Another thing to consider is body type.  In my case, it's really hard to find a cute bra in 36H - REALLY hard.  Or to wear button down shirts without them looking like shower curtains.  There's no way I can wear a tube top or the like.  Girls with big booties can't wear pencil skirts, etc.  So some requests can't be honored no matter how much time or how willing the girl is to abide.

IMO, you're absolute best bet is to say something along the lines of, "I'd really love to see you dressed in ______ if at all possible.  If not, I'm sure you will look great in whatever you wear"

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justinian1480 reads

Posted By: MeetEricaStone
It's not typical but not uncommon for a man to leave his shirt on.  So go ahead and do what makes you feel comfortable.  
   
 One thing to remember is many of the providers are limited to what they have with them.  Not many have an entire wardrobe to choose from on any given day or tour.  So unless you're seeing someone who's NOT on tour and they are booked in advance (not same day) what you're asking for should be easy for most to accomodate.  My typical answer to wardrobe requests are that IF I have it, I'll wear it.  Otherwise, for those who like specific stuff that I don't have, don't own or can't easily acquire - I tell them I'll wear whatever they bring.    
   
 Another thing to consider is body type.  In my case, it's really hard to find a cute bra in 36H - REALLY hard.  Or to wear button down shirts without them looking like shower curtains.  There's no way I can wear a tube top or the like.  Girls with big booties can't wear pencil skirts, etc.  So some requests can't be honored no matter how much time or how willing the girl is to abide.  
   
 IMO, you're absolute best bet is to say something along the lines of, "I'd really love to see you dressed in ______ if at all possible.  If not, I'm sure you will look great in whatever you wear"
Great to hear about a providers perspective, thanks! I guess I'm just inexplicably self conscious when it comes to this. I realize providers get guys 3x my age and most likely less attractive (no offense!) but I cant help but feel like I may make the escort uncomfortable being 300+ lbs and all. I know obviously there's some truth to this because 99% of the time the client would not be of interest to the escort under normal circumstances. What I'm afraid of is the escort actually showing a major reaction to it.

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OhCharlie685 reads

No girl worth her salt is going to care about your weight. We meet enough people to learn that it is how a man treats us, not how he looks, that makes him worth spending time with. If you are kind, respectful, and ready for you both to have fun, she is going to appreciate every bit of you, no matter the outer package.  

Age requirements are generally pretty set, but if you notice you're a little young for a lady, a well written email showing her exactly why you're NOT the young guys she's chosen not to see could very well change her mind. Very few of us have age  requirements due to a personal problem with that age group, it's usually based on a broader spectrum of personal experiences while working. We've just chosen to eliminate the risk of running into that stereotype again, more than because it's a hard no. So, don't be afraid to give it a polite try if you're really attracted to a particular girl!

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MeetEricaStone561 reads

Men pick women according to what turns them on.  Some providers exclude certain categories of men according to what turns them off.  Whether someone excludes a certain race, age group, level of experience (aka no newbies), big guys, small guys, whatever - it's because they are turned off by that "type" of guy and they are self aware and caring enough to let you know up front.  

It's not racism, or ageism, or that we think men of all shapes and sizes don't have merit.  It's because IF we know that we won't be able to fully engage to do our disposition for that type of man - we are doing the client a disservice.  For me it's newbies and young men I prefer not to see.  I am not going to invite a 25 yr old over to my incall knowing that the thought of having sex with a 25 yr old man makes me say, "ew!"  I am not going to waste their time and money that they could have spent on an enthusiastic provider instead of me.  It's also a bad review waiting to happen - we aren't talking about getting together for lunch or a job interview, we're intimate with them and that takes a different toll on our tolerances.  

As newbies you will all, at some time or other, face some sort of exclusion if you spend any length of time in this hobby.  It's rarely, if ever, personal and it would be great if you can understand that and move on rather to have your feelings hurt.  Please don't take the attitude that we as providers will simply do anything (or anyone) for money as that's not the case.  We have our own preferences and tolerances to consider when selecting a client.  Another thought about this is that we do this to make a living, we're not going to randomly turn down opportunities to make money just to be picky or a bit@#.  It's not a dislike of you personally but, again, a self awareness that's best followed rather than ignored.

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joebunda90507 reads

As a newbie to the hobby I have the same frustrations as many.  And as a man seeking mature women it seems doubly difficult.  Most reputable providers over 30 require 2+ references, so the available pool for me is fairly small.

On one hand I completely understand and respect the reasons for a provider setting her screening criteria (personal tastes, safety, protecting her "brand", etc...).  But as a normal human, rejection is painful.  I think this is the point of OP question.  "How do I try to minimize my risk of rejection?"

We could probably have many hours of discussion on the rejection dynamic and this industry, but that is for a different post :)

-- Modified on 6/6/2013 9:00:16 AM

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CaitlynKennedy685 reads

So you can join P411, or many will do employment screening.  If you offer this, once you have it, I am sure you wont be rejected

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London Rayne517 reads

True, and has to be said. I have refused many appts. based on certain things, because I am not in this for volume, nor am I full time. Though, most of the time attitude and kink were the reasons for refusal, I would be lying if I said that I NEVER refused someone based on a physical attribute his reference pointed out. I don't see guys who are "above average" below, and will never do so. Some women won't see small guys.  

Some providers are not even equipped to see larger men, as in the bed would break with the two of them on there. Some providers are also very petite and it is hard from them to get around a larger guy's anatomy. Certain positions are harder than others to achieve when two bodies simply don't fit. I've been in this position a few times with larger guys, and it was really hard to work with them, but I don't refuse ALL larger men..at least not where weight is concerned.

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cheesedogg562 reads

Yeah, I would cut off a pinkie toe to be 300, and I've never had a quality provider make me feel anything but great, nor have I had any refuse to see me initially or as a second or third appt.   if you want to keep your shirt on, they won't care. One recently asked me to take my shirt off, which was comforting, but its not like they're going to make you--worst case, you guys don't click but any experienced provider would think that she has to provide the contracted time, so why make that time harder by making you feel uncomfortable? While I have a couple friends who are former college athletes or whatever that hobby, most of us are less physically attractive than our providers, which is part of why you are paying. If you're a nice guy who wants to have a good time, you're set. God bless them, but good providers see past your flaws as part of the arrangement.

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London Rayne553 reads

You want to know if an outfit request is "gong too far" and we have dipshits here, asking for bareback sex.

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