Hiya! I'm a newbie provider~ just had my 3rd session and really enjoyed all of them so far. A few questions:
1. One of the hobbiest has twice now pressured me into not using a condom, which I really regret. I kept telling him I'd feel more comfortable, but he said he really didn't want to and that it wasn't a problem for most girls. Is this true? How can I tactfully talk him into using one?
2. I work for an mid-end agency (i.e. 300 roses/h) that screens the guys before and arranges all the meeting logistics ahead of time. But I'm still a bit nervous about getting busted. Does Vice usually go after the agencies or will they bust individual girls one at a time? I'm in a nice college town where there's usually a bust every few years, but from what I've seen, it's been very sketchy situations (e.g. illegal immigrants, pimp, older women on drugs). The agency I work for is pretty classy with a few nice looking girls.
Thanks guys! I'm really excited to be exploring this field, but a bit nervous as the subject says. I work full-time while attending grad-school part-time, and being a provider is the only thing keeping me able to pay my bills and out of poverty. I LOVE sex, but don't want to be arrested and unable to get a job in the future...or worst.
Thanks again!
Do you mean he pressured you into a BBJ or BBFS!?!?
BBFS- no back door. *sigh* that was stupid to allow that, wasn't it? How do providers tell clients to use condoms without starting a fight when there's push back?
Never do anything you aren't comfortable with and furthermore unsafe. But at least you came here for advice I would get tested then report the client to the agency as others have suggested.
You were manipulated because you were new and that guy is a monster for doing that to you.
There should be no "push back" or a fight. Using a condom for FS is mandatory, & he lied to you, because he knew you were new. Some guys will only see "newbies" for just this reason. Just tell them no, or they can leave... no further discussion. Then report him to the agency owner, & get yourself tested ASAP.
I feel really stupid now, but he kept saying that most of the other girls were fine with it and that condoms would ruin his experience. I guess since I'm a newbie I took his word for it
Hi darlin
As you can see from the replies here, BBFS is just not the way to go. Personally? I love BBFS and hate condoms... yet I would never ask a pro to do it for me. The risks are just too high for a couple hundred bucks. This guy who pressured you should be dismembered.
Practice saying no. Sounds silly, but I'm serious. Talk to other girls, figure out ways to say no that are definite but still playful and flirtatious, in other words trying to keep the guy happy while still keeping his uncovered dick away from your pussy. And figure out your final "no" as well, the one that shuts off the asshole who won't quit, and don't worry one bit about losing his business - you don't want it anyway.
If there is ever a reason for the blacklisting sites, this is it as far as I am concerned... Providers??? What do you all say? On my side of things I would want him outed. Would NOT see a bbfs provider.
Tell him that there are ultra thin condoms which might help. What would he do if he gets you pregnant. He would probally run off and deny his child.
Which often means agencies and massage parlors. As for condom, if you mean BBFS, tell him he has to wear one or you are leaving right now. No 'just for a second', no negotiating, no nothing, nada, zip. They seldom argue after that.
Agencies are not the same as indies. They are way more strict about timing and often take 30 to 50% for just answering a phone. You also CANNOT trust them to do much verification, if any, so please be careful. For your own safety, I would tell your booker you only want to see established clients that have used their service before.
so you probably cant read your mail. Send me an email. [email protected] I'd love to help you out, i have a lot of advice over here that I'm dying to give you.
If it was BBFS then TOTALLY not ok...not at all...period...Never ever.
BBBJ, that is up to your level of comfort. Many girls do provide it including CIM. You should read up on STD's, how they are contracted and the risks associated with doing BB oral. Although the risks are lower, they are still there. Use reputable information, not opinion boards like this one for that choice. Have some conversations with some of the providers on this board. They are very helpful. Your comfort level is the first thing you should worry about.
If that guy did actually talk you into BB intercourse, get yourself tested, and report him to your agency.
1. What you do is your business, but think about the numbers. A guy is seeing lots of other girls, and he pays for them. You can be sure he has asked about and fucked other girls without condoms. That's a lotta risk to take for $300 (before the agency takes its cut). You do what you want, but I think if you stand firm and say that he needs to wear a condom, he will. I don't need to tell you how bad of an idea that fucking bareback is. While some girls might not use condoms, the vast majority do. You need to do what makes you feel comfortable, and clearly, going raw isn't it.
2. You can always get busted, but agencies help to hedge out your risk. Agencies have lists of previously screened clients, which helps. But not all agencies and all screening is equal, so you need to get more details about how they screen. LE is more likely to go after places which also do other illegal things, such as drugs. Or which have lots and lots of volume. So be careful of agencies.
If you have any further questions, feel free to PM me.
you into doing something you aren't comfortable with.
#1. Don't see the jerk again.
#2. Tell the agency why you won't see him and what your limits are.
#3. If they don't support you get a new agency (or go independent).
The angry face isn't for you. Its for the idiots who push past the set limits through intimidation and pressure.
If you allow a guy to convince you to do something you don't feel right doing because he said "everyone else does it," you should not be doing this at all. It takes a strong willed independent woman to be a good escort!
-- Modified on 1/8/2013 7:50:05 PM
Yes, BBBJ is common but BBFS is not. I would never risk getting pregnant or upping you risk of HIV by having sex unprotected, and don't let a few morons talk you into that. Guys will tell new girl anything to get what they want including bribing for discounts by promising a good review, saying "All the girls do x, y, and z," getting you to meet without screening them, which I assume you also did not do, etc.
Bottom line...you are putting yourself in a SERIOUS path of danger and I really hope you find a provider who can mentor you before you end up on the 10 oclock news.
I think she was assuming her agency would do their due diligence. Obviously the agency dropped the ball and was of no help to her (which is sad as they probally have no problem taking their cut of the money).
Girl no, "most" girls do have a problem with not using a condom for intercourse.
He was manipulative. Don't risk your health and life for 1.5 minutes of fun for an asshole.
Don't talk him or anyone into using one.
Don't see those guys.
Most clients aren't like that.
Mark your calendar, go get tested ASAP and again six months from the date.
This business is not a game. STDs are real.
HIV is real. Cervical cancer from STD infections is real. Like PerfectStorm above says - it takes a strong-willed, independent woman to be a successful escort and escape the business emotionally and physically in tact. Unprotected intercourse is not a part of the business and don't let anyone tell you it is.
I'm going to suggest you learn the technique of applying the cover with your mouth... as part of BJ... it feels so good the guys will love you for it. I'm only on the recieving end so I don't know how.
Every gal has SOME limit... there are NONE where the guy can do anything he wants. The goal is to have a great time within those limits so it doesn't seem like anything was given up.
Best wishes,
HV
Thanks so much for your collective wisdom and support.
I'm getting myself tested Saturday morning and will tested again in a couple months too. I'd like to keep working but will be sure to use a condom.every.goddamn.time. for intercourse and get myself tested regularly.
As I mentioned in my original post, I really enjoy work. But jI let my inexperience and desire to please get the best of me. From now on, no more misses nice girl when it comes to keeping myself protected!
At least most of the people posting seemed to try to help or adivse you. You will not believe how many of the guys in the hobby are rude. They post rude comments and are very unhelpful (occasionally). If you come across a few of these obnoxious people just ignore them. Most people will hopefully be nice and try to help.
you are comfortable doing. BBFS is not a usual occurance. It appears your agency didn't do a very good job of screening. Most guys are great guys who know the proper way to treat a lady; this guy you referenced obviously does not. One of the reasons why you get the envelope at the beginning of the encounter and put it away. If he doesn't understand "no", you may need to end the session.
BBBJ occurs quite often although some ladies don't offer it and some guys don't want it.
Good luck to you.
-- Modified on 1/10/2013 1:28:25 PM
We are not picking on you, hope you know. You were taken advantage of by a slime bag. But now you know & will not get taken advantage of again. I hope you will read the self help section, by the lifesaver and also read back on these boards. I'm sure you'll get a lot of useful information.
If you work for an agency - tell them that the guy is pressuring you into unprotected sex. Maybe they will refuse his business or at least advise him that he is not allowed to do that. You can always tell the agency that you refuse to have sessions with that guy in the future.
You should get the guys to review you so you can have some reviews up.