I personally have my own therapist, and I am struggling through my own reading, (currently wayne dyer) but crimony, I am not a regular reader here, and i wish to devote my energies discriminately.
But out of curiousity, what are you hoping to effect on this forum? Or is this an outlet. Are you fulfilled here? Why? Wouldn't you feel better being a speaker at the Bohdi Tree? Or one of the group gatherings thereabout? this is not a criticism but a curiousity. Much as what you put out here is perhaps an outlet?
Are you fulfilled here, truthspeaker?
An unhappy mother-daughter bond that remains unresolved threatens all of the daughter’s attachments. When a daughter cannot separate from her mother, and when she will not or is unable to examine why, her unresolved feelings will turn up in all her other relationships – what she could not get from her mother surfaces as an unrealistic need and expectation. She becomes all want, little give; all disappointment, little optimism; all appetite, little confidence.
One of the most important steps we take on the road to true adulthood is to separate emotionally from our parents - to define ourselves as people and to stop trying to win parental approval.
Coming to terms with your mother begins with what may be the hardest step of all: recognizing that all may not be well between you, and realizing that it’s not only OK to reach that awareness, but that it may be imperative to your own mental health and to the potential health of your connection with your mother to do so.
But coming to terms also means acknowledging where your relationship is good and where your mother has honestly done her best. The potential is there for a loving relationship and deepening understanding. The special bond you have, through your shared biology and your experiences together, can nourish your ability to love and respect and support and learn from each other, cherishing your similarities and your differences. You can enlarge and enrich each other’s worlds.
And since you are natural enemies as well as natural allies, the potential for enmity - sometimes harrowing – is there as well.
Resolving the relationship by treasuring what is good, changing what can be changed, and accepting what cannot, can spell the difference between fulfilling your hopes for yourself and having none, between having a rich future or simply repeating the past, between believing that you are worthy and lovable and loving and believing that you are not and cannot be.
The difficult mother-daughter relationship is a time bomb, set to go off in the next generation. It is inherited as surely as are blue eyes or brown. Curing it is painful – it means shedding light on the dark places of your history to discover where you can look for love and where you must give up looking for it.
But it is not nearly so deadly as pretending that there is no problem.
I personally have my own therapist, and I am struggling through my own reading, (currently wayne dyer) but crimony, I am not a regular reader here, and i wish to devote my energies discriminately.
But out of curiousity, what are you hoping to effect on this forum? Or is this an outlet. Are you fulfilled here? Why? Wouldn't you feel better being a speaker at the Bohdi Tree? Or one of the group gatherings thereabout? this is not a criticism but a curiousity. Much as what you put out here is perhaps an outlet?
Are you fulfilled here, truthspeaker?
Though I'm neither mother nor daughter in this case, personally, I like to read these. The writer has a nice style and interesting insights. Anyway, it advertises what it is. If you aren't interested, simply refrain from opening it. Do you read every book in the bookstore? If you must have more information, look for the author's explanation in the past, they've explained the purpose at least once before.
-b
Or so I hear. :P Sorry couldn't resist.
Girly girl, it's been over 2 years since your last post on this board. (at least with that alias). How are you?? Drop me a line at [email protected]. I promise not to ask your real name (: