John arises at 5am, feeds his chickens and makes his coffee.

The water comes from a dug well out back that goes through a pH raiser followed by two particulate filters, a carbon filter and an ultraviolet sanitizer. His water contains no liberal-mandated chlorine, so it doesn't contain carcinogenic chloramines. It also contains no liberal-mandated fluorine; but his family doesn't get cavities because his diet is not what liberals recommend.

His friend lives in Waltham, MA where she spent three days puking her guts out because she accidentally made coffee using the tap water which, in spite of chlorine, had become contaminated with sewage. Thanks to liberals who made the water supply a government thing, his friend could not sue for lost wages.

John makes his breakfast which includes eggs from his free-ranging hens and bacon from his next door neighbor. Unlike the eggs approved by the USDA, his eggs contain no salmonella or e. coli. Furthermore, his bacon contains no liberal-mandated nitrites which turn into nitrosamines -- the same primary carcinogen as in cigarette smoke -- when put in contact with proteins.

Meanwhile, his friend in Waltham eats corn flakes which, due to a liberal-government-federal-preemption, do NOT have to disclose on their label that they are made with a Genetically Modified Organism -- in this case corn that produces an insecticide and has bacterial genes that alter its metabolism to make it immune to glyphosate. She puts milk on her corn flakes which is subsidized by the government and contains bovine growth hormone residues. Unfortunately, liberal Congressmen saw fit to not require this to be labeled either. She is suffering from a number of health complaints.

John, of course, takes NO medication because he is healthy as a horse. He knows the USDA guidelines specifying a grain-based diet for humans are bullshit, but he eats all naturally grown, raised and harvested food.

But he reflects on the new antibiotic production methods he pioneered and the fact they will never see the light of day because corrupted liberal government has made regulations that erect impossible hurdles. So people will die because his innovations will stay sitting in his safe. Fuck the world.

He drives to work in a car he bought himself, on roads he pays for with registration fees, gas taxes, income taxes, and property taxes out the wazoo. For that price, the fucking road OUGHT to be paved in gold and come with a free daily blowjob; but because the public servants are lazy good-for-nothings all the money has been goggled by fat hacks and he needs to get his front end aligned every three months due to pot holes and unrepaired road damage.

John has an insanely good education but even though he was born into destitute poverty, he never used a pell grant or guaranteed student loan. He earned scholarships of various sorts based strictly on academic merit; and paid the rest by working and saving.

John works for himself. He pays himself a decent living wage because he has earned it in the free market by being smarter, harder working, and more honest than his competitors. Unfortunately, because he has to pay lots of government mandates and recently had to pay someone to help unscramble the mandates for the new healthcare laws; he can't hire as many people as he'd like. However, because those who DO work for him are paid at 50% above industry average even WITHOUT any government mandates, he has no trouble retaining good help. Furthermore, because he pays the first $100k in employee medical expenses out of company profits, he is able to provide insurance for the remainder at about half of what most people pay -- making his employees very loyal. He hasn't had an employee quit in ... 4 years; though he HAS fired a couple. John is VERY worried he may have to cut back on benefits due to new liberal mandates. He hates it when the government forces him to be a tax collector or to fuck over employees.

It turns out that liberal mandates have a leveling effect. That is, they will force some scumbag to pay his wage slaves some minumum amount, but will make it so a guy who really gives a shit like John does has to pay less than he would otherwise pay.

John goes to the credit union to make a deposit. Credit unions were established by Distributists in response to Catholic social doctrine and are much better than banks who keep buying liberal Congressmen so they can charge you a $35 fee for being $1 overdrawn. John uses gold a lot because the value of his cash keeps declining in the face of a liberal-established Federal Reserve that has destroyed 95% of the value of the dollar in less than 100 years.

John's mortgage is also with the credit union and is a portfolio loan, with no connection to FNMA or Freddie. Unfortunately, liberal government mandates made mortgages ubiquitous which made housing prices rise at double the rate of inflation for decades, making it impossible to save enough to buy a house outright. Thus liberals turned most who wanted a home into debt-slaves for the wealthiest group in America -- bankers. This is no surprise given the amount that bankers contribute to liberal campaigns. But John has paid down his mortgage aggressively and expects to be debt free soon. John REALLY hates debt.

On his way to his father's house on poorly maintained roads, in a car that costs more than it should due to government mandated crap, John reflects on how cool the electric power plant is at his Dad's house. It is a combination one-cylinder diesel engine, home-made electric wind-turbine and photovoltaic system setup with multiple failover and counting amortized costs, only costs less than 10c per kwh to serve his Dad's home. John wonders why the liberal government thought it was a good idea to make so many rural people dependent on nameless faceless corporations who would ultimately use them as cash-cows for decades in a government-mandated monopoly.

On his way back home he turns on a radio invented by an evil dead white male and hears an NPR analyst opine at how John, just by being born, is an evil oppressor. He turns off the radio in disgust and is glad he is keeping his powder dry.

And everything you mention was passed with bipartisan support, with a lot of all this liberal stuff being done under the GOP.

You start the day with safe water.  Of course, the EPA was established under Nixon.  Nixon the old Liberal.

Yeah. Not too distorted.

Oh, yeah. You did mention Fanny Mae.  I really don't think that  is a good thing to bring up right now that we are bailing out Fanny and her brother Fred to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars.

Detroit - He wakes up in a city that has been run by liberals for40 years, without one conservative voice on city government since the second World War.  He looks out the window and sees that of the 20 houses on the street, there are only two that are inhabited because everyone has left the city.  They are talking about bulldozing his entire block.  He thinks, "At least Bush lost New Orleans to a hurricaine.  We didn't even have a disaster."  

He looks at the paper and every single city service is going to be cut.  He would have gone to his job at GM, but the union made it so uncompetative, he has decided to learn Japanese so he can get a job at at Toyota plant in Arkansas.

San Fran - he wakes up in his expensive coop and goes to get the paper.  He is happy that the GOP has not had one person elected in SF in 45 years.  His front porch smells of piss and there is a used condom on the step.  A used needle is on the sidewalk. He is glad the city is going to give the Homeless a newspaper to sell so they can make money harrassing pedestrians.  He wonders why tourists no longer love SF as much as they used to.  He takes his paper back inside and has coffee reading about how SF will have to cut back on library services because the public employee pensions take up 15% of the city's budget and in two years will take up 20%, unless rich people move, leave fewer to tax, in which case city pensions will take up 25% of the budget.  They may have to close part of GOlden Gate Park.
The city has been reduced to very rich and very poor.  The middle class have fled and can no longer live in SF.

He is liberal, so he is happy to send his kids to private school, because he would not want to subject his kids to public school, which is for poor people who like living dangerously. But his kids go to a school where they won't have to rub elbows with dirty immigrants or other poor scum that do not know how to spell "arugula."

He wakes up and like his friend in SF sends his kid off to private school because the public school is hideous even though it get more federal money than anything he can think of.  Good thing that they stopped that scholarship program that sent that stupid poor kid to the school his kids go to with the Pres's kids.  Fortunately, everyone he knows works for the feds, so he doesn't care about anyone else.