Defining relationships in the civie world can sometimes cause problems. Sometimes it's characteristic of the "dating scene" in general, i.e.: Girlfriend vs. F-buddy, Like vs. Love. Exclusive vs. No Strings Attached.
"So I know he likes me.... But does he like-me like me?"
On the flipside, defining relationships in the hobbyist world, from the outset, seems paramount. This is a business transaction after all, first and foremost. No more and no less. However, there is still a glaring human element to the transaction at hand, and I'm curious to know when, where, why and how a mutual friendship might actually enter into the mix.
In regards to this particular inquiry I'm unconcerned with the gents feelings about their "ATF".
I'm not talking about the rarest of mutual attractions that leads to the happily everafter. And I'm not asking with any preconceived notion, intention or desire. It's just that being a newbie has me questioning my own socially engineered approach to social interactions here. And I prefer to do right over wrong.
I mean, I like uninhibited sex as much as the next person. But, I naturally approach strangers in social settings wanting them to like me. And, given this nature, I tend to make personal gestures to open up the possibility of a personal connection. Especially within, but not exlusive to, the business realm.
So as providers, do you appreciate this sort of approach? Does it tend to set you at ease? Or are you repulsed by it? Does it make you suspicious? Confused? Or just plain cynical?
I'm not talking about obsessive and over-indulgent stalking behavior either. Because I've read the rants about incessant emails and texts and phone calls and such. I'm just talking about friendly, genuine interaction somewhere along the fringes of business.
I like to be a regular at my favorite restaurants. I like my favorite bartender to know what I want before I order a drink. And I like my friends to know how I take my coffee in case I have to leave the table before the waiter returns.
Is your business the same as the local eatery and bar and late-night diner? Are you happy to pander on the clock, but still occasionally interested enough to kick your shoes off and vent on the events of your day with a new-found friend after hours?
I'm a professional. Just like you. So I know sometimes you're all for getting a quiet drink after work, and sometimes you just want to go home and go to bed.
But, as a rule, when it comes to clients who seek familiarity and show a genuine interest in you... are you only watching the hours?
Or do you sometimes think:
Fuck it. I'm hungry. I could use a drink. And here's a genuinely nice guy willing to take care of me tonight.
Please let me preface the conclusion of my post with the fact that I appreciate all of you. Have no preconceived notions. And only want to do right....