I have 2 providers that want to white list me but they don't know how.
Can you help me out?

Read everything in the Self-Help Center in the upper right corner of the Newbie board under the "Life Preserver". (this is actually at the top right of every board). Have the providers you are asking this for read it too. Everything is there even some special info for providers.

When you click on the link, scroll down the page and look for the "White List info. Also click on the blue link "White List FAQ" it will tell you more. (It's at the bottom of the page)

LOgged onto site but for some reason the "self help center" is not showing up on my log in page.  
Could it be under another tab?

...any Discussion board page. See the red and white Life Preserver, the Self-Help Center link is below the Life Preserver. Click on it and the Self-Help Center will come up. Click on any topic (it's a link) and you'll get a discussion or instruction for that topic.

You're correct it's not on your Log-In page only at the top right of any Discussion board page.

See the link below it will take you there.