See if this sounds familiar to you. My grandmother, aunts and even mother-in-law all seemed to understand that "men had need" and had a much more realistic view of sex than today's women.
They fully expected that men would seek sexual pleasure wherever they could, and they basically seemed OK with it. Their only requirement was that they not be publicly embarrassed by it, or that it be brought home in any way.
I also distinctly remember them saying things like "All Louise needs is a good hard fucking." Another quote I remember is "A stiff dick would solve all Thelma's problems." The funny thing is, I'm sure they were right!
So my question is, how is it that these church-going women from a time before the sexual revolution had a much more enlightened view of sex than today's civie women? Where did we go wrong?
The kind of thoughts you describe is actually similar to today. Wives may practically believe but the key things you mentioned is publicly embarrassed and brought home in any way. That means that no one would ever no about what the man is doing including the wives at home. They could understand male nature but they did not want to have to acknowledge it in any way. As long as they could easily deny it ok but if friends and neighbors noticed odd behavior or if it had any obvious home consequences then look out.
Much of the "folk wisdom" that had been passed down from mother to daughter over the ages has been lost since WWII.
After many of the younger generations of women went to work during the war, then off to college in the 50s, and then to traditionally male jobs after the 1964 Civil Rights Act, mothers no longer felt that there was anything of value for them to pass on to daughters who had more formal education than the mother did.
Here's an example: About 10 years ago I interviewed a distant cousin who had been born around 1910. She told me that her mother had told her that since her husband liked to fish, she had better learn to go fishing if she wanted to spend time with him.
How often do you think such "wisdom" is being imparted to the young women of today?
It is no surprise that the liberated and high profile wives of Clinton, Edwards, and Schwarzenegger have found their husbands seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere.
Books could be (and probably have been) written on the subject. That's my "thought in a nutshell".
I've been thinking a lot about this since posting and I've come up with two ideas.
First, I think the move from farm girl to suburban princess over the course of a generation really changed women. The older relatives to which I refer (all gone now) either grew up on the farm, or had a farm in the family. The one thing that is universal, even to this day, about people that grew up on a farm is the understand life, sex and death better than other people.
They're real practical people- none of this princess bullshit that sprang up in the 50's and 60's. The girls in my HS that grew up on a farm, or maybe just raised horses in some cases, didn't have this prissy princess idea about dating and how many hoops a guy should have to jump through to get in their pants. You weren't going to seduce one of them- they either wanted to fuck or they didn't, and they'd let you know.
Second, once we established a generation of suburban princesses raised on rainbows and "nobody's good enough for my baby" attitudes, the feminist movement comes along just in time to make things worse.
If you recall, it didn't take long for the movement to become radicalized and go from equal right for women, to women are the victims of a subjugated underclass, and finally, women are superior- but still need a whole bunch of laws tilting the playing field in their direction at work, in college admissions, promotions etc.. A new quota system was created in all sort of areas (particularly big corps. that frantically promoted women at the expense of more qualified men) and men have been in the decline ever since. I know at least ten men my age that have been unemployed for 4 or 5 years while their wives careers just keep going up. I don't even want to get started on this subject.
But I'm pretty familiar with whole feminist issue since my wife was at the age where she was very impressionable (in the 1970's) and the change in her attitude led directly to me wanting a divorce. I watched in horror as this wonderful young woman I married kept coming home with books from all the feminist authors, and a few years later wasn't even someone I wanted to live with. To her credit, however, she was so shocked when I said I wanted a divorce that she really changed her ways for husband #2. He has yet to thank me, but he should.
Anyway, those are jut two ideas I had. I really expected my comments, but maybe I'm the only one that thinks about this sort of thing.
"You can have it all" generation. And, for many women it means that, they've been taught through TV, movies, higher education, they can have the 2.5 healthy, adorable, highly intelligent children that they want in a totally harmonious household, a meaningful and successful career, along with a a loving, handsome, successful, faithful husband who equally shares in the raising of the children and maintaining the household. Well, having all of that is a tall order, and I have talked to many woman who feel tremendously disillusioned, and feel they've been sold on a bogus dream. Many of them, through a lot of tears and self-reflection, have come back down to reality, others have not, and continue to inject themselves into one after another relationship doomed to failure, due to their attempts to fulfill that dream.
Ok so I'm 25 years or so early for this forum sorry, however. Most of the gals I know wre never taught the basics of running a household from a young age and didn't have the benefit of old Irish and Scandinavian aunts, great aunts, and a mom to show them the way. I was brought up being taught to cook from scratch with what was in the garden, do the laundry and chores etc from a young age. It was all about the fact that if Dad and the boys didn't like it when they got back from fishing, hunting etc then how in the heck would a girl maintain a husband and children as well as work if she wanted them? My cousins and I were taught to sew, and yes we could fish and camp, and do just about anything needed at home because that is what was needed. If something breaks around the house you needed to be resourceful because you didn't always have someone to call. A woman should wear many hats. Education, family, career can all be balanced as well as a healthy active sex life.
Many times I look back and smile at how fortunate I was to have such wonderful, strong women in my life.
What we don't often realize, at least most of us, is that on the scale of man's evolution we are only a step away from the cave. All of those actions necessary for self preservation and continuation of the species that were necessary as cave dwellers are still very much ingrained in us today and are the primary factors that determine the actions and reactions of males and females particularly in their interactions with each other.
No, that is correct.I don't believe feminism has done much beyond assuring that children grow up with a divorce or never having a father to begin with in the home.This PC world where EVERYTHING is an affront! What, where are all the soft feminine women? Lost to the movement? SAad to say, our young girls can't cook, keep a house or do much to keep a marriage together. And damn proud of it too.
Before I look too backward I think women have done a lot in the workplace,and that's great. But when I see shows on young couples buying a home and the women is proud to say she knows nothing about cooking I fear for the marriage.Cooking is sensual and makes for happy husband.
I've noticed the younger generation of woman are required to be "princesses". If they aren't, they get no respect or interest from men. The more selfish and materialistic a woman behaves, the more she is rewarded by men.
I don't think this is a good development. But woman follow what men want if they don't want to be alone.
Raising your family's food in a garden and cooking, like woman did at one time are laughed at now.
I once made a man cookies, and sent them to him with a little note. He was completely turned off by the domesticity of my gesture. He wanted a girl who drove a BMW, and wore 200.00 pair of jeans. The idea of someone who bakes was a complete turn off!
I know more men that prefer princesses to the "old fashioned" kind.